I like to think of myself as a patient person. People tell me that I'm a patient person. But, there are times I go through (like now), when I know that I'm not really patient. At least that I'm not patient down to the core. My new baby's due date is February 3rd. I and my medical advisers don't think the baby will wait that long to make his appearance. That's less than two weeks and yet I don't want to have to wait any longer than right now. Both of my older children went past their due dates, so you would think that I would have a handle on the fact that babies can wait past my comfort levels. I have also been fighting cold/sinus problems for 4-5 weeks now which wears me down though I have felt a very slight improvement that gives me hope for better days soon. But what bugs me the most is that Saturday night the contractions were starting to get closer and stronger, all day Sunday and Monday morning they were going strong, but then faded away by Monday night. Today I had very few contractions at all (less than normal even). Sunday I felt like the baby is coming soon. Now, I feel like I did a month ago (except bigger and slower). It is very frustrating and it wears on my patience.
I am reminded of quotes from the Bible that refer to unexpected or sudden events as when labor pains come on a woman. It is unpredictable. You can expect it soon and still be surprised. I always feel like God is giving me another lesson on patience when I find myself in such circumstances. I am not sure that we ever get too secure in our virtues that God doesn't have to give us a refresher course from time to time. So, I'll try to accept the wait as a lesson to learn (especially since I have to wait anyway).
In the meantime, our kids are enjoying time with Grandparents and doing their best to get away with everything while Mommy is big and slow. Child number one is only having light schoolwork right now since Mommy's energy levels are still low. Child number two is learning how to talk very fast. The two girls even have the occaisional conversation with each other. Child number one is making some headway with potty training. She still doesn't want to ask for potty times, but at least we are getting her to do most of the routine herself and discovering ways to encourage her to get the poop in the potty (it involves having books to read while she waits). Child number two is mastering stacking and is finally showing interest in puzzles and being read to. However, she is also a party girl who is always on the lookout for a new game. I had to discourage her from playing the "paper game," as she calls it, in the bathroom. We suspect it involves unwinding the toilet paper, thus the discouragement. However, in mentioning this within her older sister's hearing, I realized later that it doesn't take much to give the older one ideas. I had to correct the older sister later who did make a mound of toilet paper citing the "paper game" as her inspiration. On the whole, our two girls get along well, and they seem to take turns sharing ideas of fun things to do and copy from one another.
Well, that is all that I have for tonight. I will go back to waiting (and trying to get a few things done while I can).
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I remember that last few days before Wendy was born...officially she was about 10 days late, but MY calculations were closer to reality. I often thought, "Will it be SOON? This,too, shall come to pass!" As it was, I was probably the first RN to continue working (in the OR) until the day before I delivered. I wasn't "officially" due for my vacation time until 10/4, and on 10/3, I told my boss that I was SO tired, and felt I needed to stay home from then on. One hour after I got home that day, I went into labor, and she was born the next morning with only 8 hours of significant labor.
Prayers are with you, my dear, and may God bless you with a beautiful baby - SOON!! I feel your weariness. But know that I think you are a marvel! As a great writer once said, "Favor falls on those who wait"....
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