The World Has Changed Once Again

Two days before Halloween, the world changed again. I had my second son. He was a big fellow, too, at 9 pounds, 10 ounces. It was a relief to finally have him in my arms and not in my abdomen.

I had been convinced that I was ready to have that baby "any day" for at least two weeks before he came. From what we learned during delivery, he was probably delayed by an oversupply of amniotic fluid. Basically, he kept floating in the fluid instead of dropping down and being pushed down the birth canal. Although he felt late to me, he was actually born the day after the due date.

My last couple of posts were in October. Now it's the night before Thanksgiving. My side of the family were altruistic this year and told us to stay home instead of trying to fulfill the family tradition. That has turned out well, since we are all at different stages of a cold right now. The silence from the last posts don't convey the activity we have been trying to cram into our lives.

We have replaced our broken flowered sofa with a new queen size futon. We had a rat die in the vent tube of our above stove hood, resulting in a very unpleasant dismantling operation and eventually a new hood (the old one was due for replacing anyway). We have our pest control service alerted to the rodent issue and are in the process of trying to make sure that unfortunate event does not get repeated. We had a bedroom doorknob fail (with no way to dismantle it from outside the room) so we had to break down a door, and then fix the resulting door frame. We had our pomegranate harvest to seed (waiting in the freezer for a convenient time to make jelly). We made a emperor penguin costume for our oldest child for Halloween (the other kids got hand-me down costumes). We started up schoolwork again on a half day schedule out of self defense. It turns out that our kids behave better when they aren't left to their own devices all day. I started out breastfeeding the baby and by the end of the first week I was almost exclusively using a breast pump. By the end of the second week I was doing half breast milk and half formula. By the end of the third week, he was completely on formula.

It has been nearly four years since we last had a new baby to take care of. Some of the time, we are easy-going and calm veterans. Some of the time, we are playing the "Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that" game. Our other kids love him and want to play with his toys. They like to pet his head and occasionally hold him. Thankfully, he can sleep through the pandemonium of a typical day. And like most babies, he has problems sleeping enough of the night to let his parents feel rested. Tim and I have arranged a schedule so that we take turns doing various feedings so that each of us get the bare minimum sleep that we need. That fact and the fact that our baby seems fairly good-natured is probably the only reason we are still somewhat sane and able to function.

I find myself being very philosophical about some of the difficult parts of being the parent of a new baby. Yes, it's exhausting and difficult. However, it is also temporary. In another month or two we'll all be sleeping better. In another month or two, he'll be more fun to play with. In a few months more he'll be trying solid food. We'll only be doing formula for a year. His wardrobe will only last a few months at a time at first. Someday, Tim and I will have our bedroom to ourselves again. Someday, I'll be able to give away my maternity clothes. Someday, I won't need to keep baby clothes. Our family finally feels finished to me. I also can't picture myself going through another pregnancy. It really does get more difficult as you age. On the other hand, these precious moments with a tiny baby go so fast when you are an older parent. I sometimes wish I had the leisure to enjoy each moment more with each of our kids. The reality is that with four kids, you take what time you can with each one as the moment is upon you. There is not any time for the ideal, so you spend the time you have.

I do picture a difficult few months ahead, especially with the schooling. But thankfully we can be flexible. It will take us a while to learn the next new set of parenting skills we need for new family dynamic. Our lives are still in constant change.

Life Without a Baby

Yesterday morning we buried Baby E. Tonight we had a memorial reception and got to visit with a lot of people who have been praying for us for the past few months. Our official goodbyes have been said, but we will continue having goodbye moments for a long time to come.

People keep asking us how we are doing. We are doing OK. We have each other. We have our family. We have a good church family who love us. We still laugh and play. The sadness is still there waiting for its turn, too. In the meantime, I seem to be recovering physically, though I'll hold off on any extra exercise for a few weeks yet. Watching our three kids everyday is exercise enough.

Beyond that I've noticed I keep thinking about how life feels different without a baby in the house and without the impending prospect of one in the house. We were successful in spacing our kids two years apart. As a result, every time a baby reached toddler-hood, a new baby was on the way. Even this last time, Baby E. was about two years younger than her big brother. But this time the baby is missing from the picture. We have a baby-less house for the first time since we started having kids. I've been putting away things that were set up in case we got to bring her home for a time. As I do that, I keep thinking how strange it feels to be putting away the baby stuff. I look at the Happy Boy and see how fast he's growing. He's two going on preschooler. I can usually understand what he's saying now. He wants so much to be a big kid like his sisters. He already is fascinated with letters and numbers. We know he's going to be an early reader, too. I can see that I'll be starting to teach him in a more structured way soon. Before I know it, all my kids will be "older" kids and the childproofing of our house will be obsolete. I see it coming like a tourist about to experience a strange new land.

I feel like our home is about to make a transformation as the little kid things get retired and the older kid things take their places. It won't happen overnight, but as I glimpse the future, it feels like that time is nearly here. And it feels strange to me.

Now, we have had a few brave souls (who know us well and therefore know that it's OK to ask) whether we are going to have any more children. Our answer for now is that we haven't made a final decision on that yet. It is never a good policy to ask a Mom to make a final decision on that too close to giving birth, the memory is too fresh. There are pros and cons either way. The Adrenaline Junkie is actively lobbying for a new baby. And, we had baby E. precisely because we wanted another child in the family. But, for now I need to get my strength back. We are not going to rush that decision.

Until that decision is made, we are in the strange world of baby-less households. We have yet to decide if this is a temporary condition or a permanent abode. Somehow the empty crib adds to the sadness I feel at times, but I'm not quite ready to move it out to the garage yet.

One post a month?

Well, I do intend to get back to my series on how I look at the world differently. I'm contemplating a post on the abdication of responsibility in our society. But for now, since it is late already, I'll just give a quick update on how the fight against chaos is going lately.

We've been on schedule with the homeschooling. However, I've had to make this past week a vacation week because of two sick kids (and a Mom). I only had one more vacation week scheduled and I hated to use it early. But you do what you need to. As a result we have just six more weeks of school left on our schedule, and eight more weeks to the baby's due date. That's cutting it pretty close. Fortunately, the schedule is thinning out a little as we finish up some things early. Our math program should be finished in just two more weeks. I'm planning on spending time playing math-involved games after our math curriculum is finished. The Pillowfight Fairy was introduced to the game of dominoes (count by five scoring version) by my parents this past week and did quite well. The two girls also played their "Papa" at chess. He held his own against the Fairy, but was blindsided by the Adrenaline Junkie's nary a care aggressive playing style. I think he was a little embarrassed by being beat by a four-year-old, but not too much. After all, she's his granddaughter and she can beat someone at chess while only four.

I've got my garden in, but haven't seen much beyond weeds coming up. The only thing I recognize as desirable so far are the snow peas I planted. Other than that we have some stray onions that must be left from last year as they came up in completely the wrong place. I'm making an effort to keep them watered properly, so maybe they are just delayed with the weather. I did plant fairly early. Our fruit trees, grapevines, brambleberries, and blueberries are all showing healthy growth so all is not lost.

I had my latest round of doctor's appointments this week regarding the pregnancy. I am still in good health (not counting the cold). We had another detailed ultrasound to determine whether or not to have a caesarian delivery. The results are good. The concern was that the fluid in our daughter's brain would have caused the head to grow unusually large. That has not happened. So I have the go ahead to go through childbirth without the surgery. From my point of view that is a big plus. There are no changes as far as abnormalities that we already knew about. Our daughter is showing a strong heartbeat so far. So she may make it to term or close to it. She is also tending to be slightly smaller than my kids so far, but not drastically so. The medical concerns at this point are whether the abnormal pregnancy will trigger abnormal reactions near the end. My doctors want me to keep an eye out for signs of preeclampsia (more likely in these situations). The other concern is that the placenta (sharing some of the faulty DNA) will cause problems near the end of the pregnancy. I find it reassuring that so many people are praying for us. It helps me stay hopeful and happy, as I take life one day at a time. We really don't know what will happen. We don't know when the baby will be born. We don't know how well she will be able to survive after birth. We don't know what to expect. So we just concentrate on what we do know. I still have to take care of myself. I still have to my best for the kids currently depending on me. Tim still has to go to work. We still do laundry, get groceries, and take care of the house.

Other things going on? Well, those of you who follow my husband's blog know that he is about to embark on a new hobby. I'm finding it difficult to find the energy to work on our taxes in the evening (Yes, it needs to be done, but I can't do it when the kids are awake).

The Happy Boy is growing fast and not just physically. He is starting to talk a lot more and much more understandably. He is starting to build things with legos, color with crayons and play with his sisters. I even had a fleeting feeling once this last week that he was starting to understand reading. He pointed at one of the Pillowfight Fairy's school binders and said "Math". And, it was indeed the math binder. I couldn't figure out how he would have known that without reading the word on the binder, since I don't usually get it out or talk about it during the day. It just sits on the shelf like all the other books and binders as far as he is concerned. He also moved a chair in his bedroom, climbed up and removed the pendulum to the clock in his bedroom yesterday when he had a little free time after his nap. I think back to the stories my Mom told of my older brothers when they were his age and even younger and understand why she hesitated to have more kids. Let us hope that the Happy Boy uses his powers for good. He is acting anxious to be a big kid like his sisters.

As for the Adrenaline Junkie, I am still debating about when to start Kindergarten with her. She still needs to polish up some things I consider to be preschool level, but in other areas, she seems ready to move to Kindergarten topics. It doesn't really have to be much of an issue here at home since we can teach her at her pace. But, it matters at church. You see her birthday is just a few days after the official school year cut-off date. She would be kept behind a year (from our perspective) simply because of an arbitrary date if she were in public school. But, our church advances students to their new grade in the summer, a full six months before her birthday, and almost certainly before she is ready to change over. Added to this she is in a boomlet group at our church where there are around 20 kids in the Sunday School class. There is a 4/5 year old class and a Kindergarten class that will be able to accomodate them, but it is still a lot of kids to spread out even to two classes for those ages. One person suggested I could teach her at her academic level at home and keep her in her age level at church, but when I see it from my daughter's perspective that wouldn't work. When people ask her what grade she is in, she will respond to her school grade from home and will notice if she isn't in it at church. At this point, I think I will start a little more preschool work and reading practice at home during the summer. Then, when she seems ready, we will start her Kindergarten program in homeschooling her. The transition at church could be at the next convenient change of quarter.

So that is what's been going on with us lately. I've had a lot on my mind. Not to mention trying to get things ready for when the baby comes. After all, we may get to bring this baby home even if just for a little while. We have to have the basics ready, just in case. So, don't expect another post from me until after I get the taxes done.

Month-long musings

It has been about a month since I've posted last. A month ago, we had just learned about our baby having trisomy 13 (confirmed since then) and had the hustle and bustle of Christmas. I've had a month to think about all sorts of deep thoughts. I've decided that I should take some time to share my thoughts, since I've gotten the impression that many people who know me, aren't sure how to talk to me anymore. They seem unsure about how I'm taking our news and don't want to say the wrong thing. For those of you in that category, I guess you haven't figured out yet that I'm fairly tolerant of what people say to me as long as they seem to be well intentioned and polite. I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. So to help out these people and to share my thoughts with the rest of you, here follow some of my musings about our news of the last month.

I was not very familiar with Trisomy 13 before the diagnosis came. I was vaguely familiar with the term "trisomy" but I had to read up on it and learned quite a lot from the genetic counselor. It is a very serious condition and usually results in early death for those who have it. This was not something anyone wants to hear that their child has. It was a shock of course. But, I am not a person under the delusion that misfortune can't possibly come my way. Some people tend to say "why me?" when bad things happen to them. I tend to say "why not me?" There is nothing special about me or mine that would prevent misfortune from coming our way. Added to this, I am very aware of my age and the fact that the risk for birth defects increases as my age increases. Although the risk is much higher than if I were twenty years younger, I am realistic about the statistics. If I have a risk of 1 in 20 of having any chromosomal problem in a baby of mine, that means I have a chance of 19 in 20 of having a child with no chromosomal problem. Most women my age who have children, have healthy children. I was aware of all of this information before I became pregnant and before we heard the diagnosis.

Once we heard the news, we were very sad. But, we wanted information to help figure out what it meant for our child. So we took time to research what we could. It didn't make us feel any better. But, it did help us come to terms with what is knowable. Trisomy 13 results in several abnormalities in a child. No two children are completely alike in how they are affected. From the ultrasound, we have some knowledge of our child's abnormalities (at least those detected from an ultrasound). We know that we won't know everything about her abnormalities until she is born. We also know that we can't know for sure how these abnormalities will affect her ability to live and grow until she is born and is trying to live on her own (instead of inside Mommy). Many of these babies don't make it to birth. Many don't live more than a few days after birth. About 5% live 6 months. very very few live beyond that. That is what we know. That is also a little about what we know that we don't and can't know ahead of time.

When faced with the certain knowledge that you are going to lose someone you love in the near future, how do you react? How to you live after that news hits? Well, you still don't know when it will happen. You still have others that you love and care for to consider. You still have to go about everyday life. You still have to eat. You still have to sleep. You still have to do laundry and do basic housework. If you don't do these things, life becomes extremely unbalanced and you start to go downhill yourself in depression. Fortunately for us, we have three bouncy, energetic kids that need our attention and care. They help us to remember to live life day by day. After all, that is how all of us need to live. Today is the only day we know we have, so we have to do the best we can with what we have. I still have times (in the middle of the night when I get too uncomfortable to sleep well, usually) when I consider what is coming in the future and I start to miss my baby girl early. But most of the time, I'm in good spirits. I can still laugh and play. I can appreciate a sunny day or one of my children remembering to say please when they ask for something. I actually forget sometimes that people who have heard our news, expect me to be a morose, tragic figure, who is sure to be near tears at the drop of a hat. They come up to me with tears in their eyes and sad words and I feel the urge to cheer them up. I don't feel like a morose, tragic figure. I am also beginning to see our situation less as tragedy and more as life as it really is -- Riding down the road of life without the training wheels, so to speak.

I try to give myself perspective. My life is pretty good. Many others have had tragedy of one kind or another hit them. And yet, they survived and were perhaps the better for it. I like to think that God has his reasons for letting these things occur when and where they do. I do believe that God is in control, which is a thought that gives me comfort. We live in a world that is not perfect. It is corrupted by sin and the ripples of that cause all sorts of unpleasant things in our world. Yet God is able to take those unpleasant things and make something good and right come about. We tend to see our baby daughter's "abnormalities" as defects and undesirable. But, we don't know how God sees them. These abnormalities may result in a more precious relationship and stronger lessons in life than we would have otherwise had. She is still our daughter. It is still our job to love her and be her parents until she returns to God. She is still part of our family. None of us knows for sure how long we have here on earth. Life is a precious gift. We choose to face this situation with a love that is willing to feel the pain to come. We don't need to lose the joys of today, worrying about loss tomorrow. Nor do we need to shelter ourselves from future pain and thereby cut ourselves off from the support we have around us.

We have had a lot of support from people. I know we have literally hundreds of people praying for us. We have family and friends who are willing to help any way they can. We have good doctors who are doing the best they can to be helpful, supportive and give us the best care they can. I feel blessed by this crowd of people rooting for us, and feeling sorrow for us, too. The load is lighter because of it. I don't know why this tragedy in our lives feels so non-tragic right now. We really would have preferred to have another healthy baby. But this is our current reality. As a result, we seem to be learning things about life and faith that we would not have learned any other way. I wish I could say more about that now, but I don't think I can until the time and the perspective of hindsight helps me do so.

I also feel blessed that I am still in good health. The pregnancy itself is going as it should. The only thing wrong is a chromosomal problem that has severely affected our daughters physical development. When birth comes, that will be the time of decisions and our next chance to really know much more about how our child is doing. We don't know how well or poorly her abnormal organs will work. We don't know if she will live long enough to bring home. We don't know what life will look like during that time. But, I haven't been worried about my own health. I've been able to get my usual exercise. I've been able to continue caring for our kids and home. Tim has been able to continue working and not worry about things at home. I've been able to continue homeschooling and planning for next school year's work. I like to think that I'm mentally healthy, too. I am not in depression, which I imagine is a temptation to many in such a situation. If I am somehow mentally unbalanced and acting strangely, no one has brought it to my attention yet. So I have hope for the future.

Faith, Hope and Love... hmm. That sounds familiar. Yep, that is what gets you through the tough times alright. It's a combination I highly recommend.

A Good Report

I went to the Podiatrist today. First the cast came off (a very satisfying thing in itself). Then I had X-rays. Then I saw the doctor. The news is that my fracture is healing very nicely indeed. He tried to show me where you could still see the line from the fracture on the X-ray, but I couldn't see it. When I looked at the the X-ray from after I first broke the bone, the fracture was very obvious so this is showing us good progress. As a result of this good news, I am now wearing a walking boot. This will be my prefered footwear for the next three weeks. I may walk on it until my foot complains, then I have to rest it. When my foot feels strong enough, I may take the boot off for driving, as long as I put it back on for the actual walking. After three weeks, I am to wean myself off the walking boot back into normal shoes. The Podiatrist said that I should be back to normal activity 10 weeks after the original break.

I consider this excellent news. Coming back from the appointment I got to try out my ability to walk and I must say that I am out of practice. My balance is a little shaky, but I have been able to put my weight on the foot without pain. I will probably be walking slowly and gingerly for the next few days to see how well I can get around. I've already found the driveway to be a challenge (It's a bit on the steep side). If I catch on to walking in the boot as fast as I got used to the crutches, then I will be back to normal in very little time. This is good, because as I have been telling people, it is a race to see whether I or the baby will be walking unassisted first. Happy Boy started crawling and pulling up into a stand nearly two weeks ago and has picked up speed and determination. He's been trying to stand up in the middle of the floor with nothing nearby to hold on to. I fully expect to see him walking without help by the middle of December (that's how fast his sisters learned and he's been showing at least as much single mindedness if not more than them). By my calculations, I should be walking normally in normal shoes by the middle of November.

I guess that means that we will both be mobile for the holidays. However, I think I will try to keep Pillowfight Fairy's birthday (October) and Halloween pretty simple. I also have less of an excuse to go slow on the homeschooling. We have done minimal homeschooling in the last week and a half when I had the least help. More update and regular posts as things come up.

Sisterly dynamics

I did not have any sisters growing up. I had two older brothers and my growing up years with them provide fodder for many stories. Lately, I have been watching my daughters interact as sisters and have felt both amused and annoyed. They will definitely provide us with many stories in the years to come I am sure. Sometimes I wonder how much of the silliness is just common to kids and how much is because they are our kids. A few examples to amuse your day:

I have noticed in the last few weeks that Adrenalin Junkie, who has always enjoyed pretending, has suddenly gone full blown imaginary world on us. She will open imaginary doors and invite in imaginary beings (usually animals) with whom she will have imaginary conversations and imaginary adventures. Sometimes she puts on her imaginary clothes and equips herself with imaginary tools or toys. It is really quite sweet.

But all is not well in the house for Pillowfight Fairy has a contrary streak at times and will rush up and grab away Adrenalin Junkie's imaginary playmates and toys. Tears follow and I find myself scolding them for taking each others imaginary toys or friends. Usually, I can do this with a straight face and with complete seriousness. But, when I had to discipline the girls the other night and Daddy overheard it and said "What did you say to them?", I see how silly it sounds. Yes, I have to discipline my girls for pretending that they are stealing things from each other that don't exist.

Another thing came up tonight. Pillowfight Fairy had to translate for her sister (the first time that I remember). I saw that the girls had too many wiggles and were headed for trouble, so I suggested putting on some music to dance to. This was agreed to and I asked what music they would like. Adrenalin Junkie piped up immediately saying "Yucky Noodle!" At least that was what it sounded like to me. Obviously I heard her wrong and asked her to say that again. "Yucky Noodle!" was the answer. OK, stop and think, she has trouble saying "L" and it comes out "Y" so maybe she means "Lucky Noodle." No, that doesn't make any sense either. She was starting to get upset that Mommy was being so dense when Pillowfight Fairy explained that she wants "Yankee Doodle." Ahhh! Yes, Adrenalin Junkie agreed. So Mommy finally was able to save the day by putting on the children's song CD that we have which starts with the song "Yankee Doodle." Now we only had to deal with the tears that one kid had dancing slippers and the other one didn't, one wanted to dance with her sister when sister wanted to dance alone, and No Mommy isn't allowed to sing along. Of course when I told their Daddy about the mix up, he had the giggles for the next several minutes, saying "the more I think about it the funnier it is."

Could it be that they are going through emotional upheaval together? I know I had my share of emotional upheaval as a child, but it was egged on by the fact that my brothers spoiled me and let me get away with things if I cried. I think the emotionalism of one may feed off the other. Sometimes they fight. Sometimes they are kind. Sometimes they miss each other and want to be playmates again. Is this what it's like to raise girls? I guess I had better figure it out so that I know how to deal with it.

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As a side note, I have just over another week to go before I get this really, really annoying but very necessary cast off my foot. At that point, they will see how I have healed and decide on the next step (which I hope involves taking steps on it again). I am currently surviving with the kids with lots of help. We have people making us dinners nearly every day and I have ladies coming in the mornings to help me with the kids. I still have to handle all three on my own in the afternoon, but since two of the three kids go down for naps in the afternoon, it isn't as bad. I have also got a few work arounds to help me one of them being a desk chair taking the place of a wheelchair to help me get around. On the down side, Happy Boy decided to start crawling, pulling to a stand and cruising this past weekend. That's just about all he wants to do now and he is getting good fast. It is not a stretch to say that it is now a race to see which one of us will be walking unassisted first. I would usually be happy about such a development, even if it is more work. Now, it is just really awful timing.

Nature vs. Nurture

Today I was playing with Happy Boy and out of the blue he made a scrunchy-faced smile that reminded me of my paternal grandfather. Now, I have heard that my paternal grandfather had fair hair (I just remember it as white-gray). But, I would not otherwise have thought of him resembling Happy Boy much. This thought suddenly got me thinking thoughts about how much comes from DNA and how much is learned.

Yes, it is completely possible that my son has inherited physical features that remind me of my paternal grandfather. However, since his physical features generally favor his father's side of the family so greatly, it may be that I noticed something else. Could it be that I saw a learned expression on his face that mirrors one that I may do without thinking? This facial expression may have been passed down through generations, from my grandfather, to my father, to me, and now to my son. I never thought of my Dad's expressions mirroring his Dad because he already looks a lot like him (except for darker hair).

Added to this, I was mentioning the other day how I always thought that I looked more like my Mom, but that one of my Dad's relatives pegged me as his daughter (although I was not obviously being presented as one of the family and was mixed in with lots of other relatives the person had never met). The person I was talking to said that I probably was acting in a way that reminded them of him.

So today, playing with my son it dawned on me that he might be looking like my grandfather at times, because I look like my grandfather at times. Are there other things that I am passing along just as obliviously that I'm going to meet up with in the future? I know that I have "Southernisms" in the way I talk, word choices, that I picked up from my parents. Are my kids going to have some of that, too? My husband worries that they will pick up my bad grammar usages. We all realize that kids pick up our habits as we live together, but how many of us realize that we may be unconsciously passing along traits from relatives long gone? We assume it is inherited since the child has never met the person, but we forget that we have met the person and it shows to the little ones.

New pseudonym already?!

I decided today that my youngest child needed a different pseudonym. Rug Rat may give an idea of his age and developmental progress, but doesn't tell anything about his personality. He is not rat-like a bit. So after listening to him squeal in delight and chortle with glee over the baby monitor tonight a full fifteen minutes after putting him to bed, "Happy Boy" is a better moniker. He has always been an astoundingly happy kid. He flirts with everyone. He charms the socks off people (old and young alike). Sure he will cry occaisionally, but always for some good reason. Maybe his sister isn't giving him an exciting brightly colored toy that he is sure would be nice to chew on. Or maybe the floor pulled him down and knocked him in the head. But on the whole, he is an eerily happy baby. He was clearly smiling with happiness before his one month birthday... often.

I wonder if he will just continue like this or if his personality will change over the years. His sisters metaphored a bit. His next oldest sister had a continually worried expression as a baby and is now loads of fun. His oldest sister started serene and gradually changed to hypersensitive and is currently an intellectual daydreamer who thinks word problems are polite dinner conversation. I have trouble picturing my son as a nihilistic teenager someday, but I don't know... eighteen years of "Happy Boy" could grate on the nerves occaisionally. Is there anyone else out there with a child who just overflows the normal boundaries of happy?

Life is getting better

OK, it's been a while since I last posted. I've been busy with disasters. Well... little disasters. The same day child number one was supposed to start her new dance class, the person who was going to watch child number two, called to say she had two kids with high fevers. I woke up that morning with pink eye (not caught from anyone else, just spontaneous as a result of allergy problems). On the way to get medicine for my eyes (with three kids in tow), the front passenger window decided it wanted to slide mysteriously down into the door and hide from all the world. That was just one day. We got through it and child number one still got to go to dance class. We have since got the window repaired. We have had a lot of days like that in the past few weeks.

I'm feeling better now. The rain seems to be gone for a while, so we can get outside to walk every now and then. I still have the allergies, but they are toned down a bit since I can take some medicine for them now. Today we have the dance class again. No disasters have happened so far today. The trickiest part of the schedule is getting child number three's feedings to line up just right for our comings and goings.

I'm beginning to feel like being the mother of three kids is going OK. And, maybe, just maybe I'll be a good mom who can get dinner in the crock pot too. Our fruit trees are blooming. Our new grass seed is planted (my husband decided that the back lawn needed to be redone). We are just about ready to put in new pathways and a patio in our backyard. It feels like we are getting things accomplished again. Now I just have to find time to do the taxes.

The homeschooling is going well, although very casually. It is mainly reading, reading, reading, and more reading. Child number one is reading very well. She reads to herself in the bathroom (which has helped the potty times). She reads to her sister. She has any adult available read to her. In fact she has been reading some of this as I write it. Child number two has decided that she likes reading too. She also wants to be read to a lot. Besides that, there is lots of art work, crayons, colored pencils, pens, scissors, tape, drawing paper, construction paper, and all the things that you can make from them. We sometimes branch out and do some play dough time. I'm thinking that I may soon figure out how to get the easel out and get painting back into the schedule. However, that requires cleaning a counter so there is a place to dry the paintings. The girls are getting better about playing together and the oldest one is getting more independent. She is wanting to do a lot more things on her own (also a help with potty times). I can see now why people like to space their kids out a little more than we have. Having an older child is a big help when you have an infant. Today we all sat down together to entertain the baby while he was on his play mat. The girls are certainly learning about babies.

I am wanting to get the homeschooling a little more structured into our daily routines though. It isn't for the kids' sake, it is for my own. Clutter and chaos drive me nuts. I have come to terms with the fact that I can't have my entire life in order at once, but I like to try to have a few areas orderly so that I can function. It helps if those areas are the ones that we deal with every day. So far, after the baby's arrival, we have mealtimes, sleeptimes, and laundry somewhat in order. Now, I'm trying to get schooltime and shopping trips more manageable. I have come to the conclusion that we can't do a walk on the same day that we need to go somewhere. There is only so much flexibility in a five week old's schedule. Incidently, some of the neighbors have commented that we look like a parade when we are out for a walk. I don't doubt it what with the oldest child in a tricycle, the next in line in a jogging stroller, and the youngest in a front carrier on mommy. I look forward to the day when the youngest can go in the double stroller. It is hot and awkward to deal with the baby carriers.

Well, that's a lengthy post to make up for the time since the last one. Maybe, I'll describe the dance classes in the next one. They are noteworthy.