When should the school year start?

If you didn't have any outside influences making up your mind for you, when would you start the school year? Now we all have some outside influences that help us make this decision, but since we homeschool, we don't necessarily have to follow the public school schedule. For instance, we finished up most of our school-work back in May. Right now we are very casually finishing up a few things that were left undone, but could be considered busy work, since they are not vital to her schooling. So how do we answer this question?

Well, one way to find an answer is to ask if our child is ready to start her new year of school. The answer to that one would be "yes." She has seen the new books. She has seen Mommy making plans and shopping for supplies. Oh yes! she is ready! She has on occasion asked to look at her new text books for the fun of it.

Another way to find an answer is to ask if the teacher (that would be me) is ready to start teaching. The answer to that one is "not yet but soon." I have always loved the start of school, but I also see the need for a little bit of a break before diving in to a new year (especially since we have a lot more planned for this year than last year). I also have to consider how to plan around other summertime activities. Last week was day camp week. This week and next are swim lessons. Both of these things had us completely shift our family schedule to accommodate them. After swim lessons are over, we are free to start a new year whenever we please.

Are there any other influences that might determine when we start? Well, yes. The society around us does influence us some, even though we are relatively out of sync from it. As far as I'm concerned the labels "Kindergarten," "First grade" and so on are artificial constructs and we are teaching our kids where they are. But, our children do interact with other kids (yes, homeschoolers do know other people) who are in public school and to whom such labels matter. Therefore these things matter to our kids. Our oldest has already started telling people that she is a first grader even though we haven't actually started her studies yet. The summer always was an awkward time where you always have to clarify whether you are finishing a grade, in it currently, or about to start it. I generally have liked the idea of year round school, but you still need to have some kind of starting and stopping point to be able to easily talk to others (especially non-homeschoolers). In our life, those other people we spend the most time with are at our church. Our kids are in classes divided by age or grade level as appropriate. This is where they get their "classroom" experience. So when does our church start the new year? July 6th of all things. I think this is actually because it allows the year to be divided up into relatively neat quarters for planning of classes. As a result most of the kids start their new grade long before they start school for fall. So we could start about the same time and be in sync with the church classes or we could do our own thing (whatever that is).

Another consideration is convenience. I had hoped to be pregnant by now so that the early months of pregnancy (when I generally am in a sleep-deprived fog) would be out of the way before starting the school year. Sometimes, that which is convenient doesn't happen and you have to make do with a more inconvenient alternative. Having no idea when said pregnancy might happen, it wouldn't do to delay our kid's education for it.

There is also the fact that this is the first year that we have to satisfy bureaucratic rules. Since we live in California, we will have to file our affidavit as a private school to exempt our daughter from compulsory attendance in public school. But that doesn't need to be done until October. Still, we have to figure out if we are going to join a homeschool support group (probably), decide on legal representation (since you never know), and watch what is going on in the court case that might change everything (probably no news until September).

So, have we come up with an idea of when we will start our new year?

We probably will start in early July. I don't want our break to be too long or our daughter will start forgetting last year's stuff and may decide that she doesn't want to go back to her school work. We will be in sync with her church friends. And we can do all the bureaucratic stuff as needed along the way. Though I may wait until after my birthday. :-)

Teaching to the Test

You know... one of the things that I like as a homeschooler is the ability to concentrate on comprehension and mastery without having to "teach to the test." There is a freedom in this. There is quite a debate in our society right now about how to teach kids and how important testing is. I tend to be on the side of those who say teaching to the test isn't the right approach.

That is why it is so ironic that I find myself "teaching to the test."

Why would I do this? Because my daughter wants to participate in our Church's "Bible Challenge." It is a Bible knowledge quiz (handled much like a spelling bee) that they have every year at the end of summer. It is open to kids who have finished kindergarten through sixth grade. They divide the kids up into age groups for appropriately challenging questions for that group. For every correct answer they earn a ticket to redeem for prizes. Everyone who completes the challenge without missing an answer gets a trophy. My daughter really, really, really, wants to do this. So we have the list of questions that they handed out in June for the quiz in August. The idea is to encourage Bible knowledge, not to try to trip the kids up with surprise questions.

So, this week I have been teaching to the test. We have been reviewing the questions. I was happy to see that the questions didn't cover anything that she was unfamiliar with (with the possible exception of how many books are in the Bible). She knows all the stories mentioned in the questions, so I'm happy that she knows the context of what the questions are talking about. She also knew most of the answers. However, I have needed to encourage her to stick to the answers they expect the kids to give. Restating an answer in your own words is fine as long as it is accurate and doesn't confuse the issue (she has been fond of riddles lately and has sometimes tried to answer questions with riddles).

Now I have to try to find a way for this review of questions to stay fresh or she will get bored and not put effort into it. It would be heartbreaking for our little perfectionist to miss an answer in this much anticipated contest. (Heartbreaking for her that is, we are OK with it).

Which brings up another question: Are perfectionists that way all their life? Are there any recovering perfectionists out there? I've never seen evidence that this personality trait changes. Not being a perfectionist myself, I've never seen much point to it. My husband is one (that must be where she gets it), but he manages to use it to give himself the drive and endurance to work until he gets right whatever he is working on. That is an adult form of perfectionism. In our five year old, it tends to work more like "If I get something right the first time, I love it and want to do it constantly until I get tired of it. If I get something wrong the first time, I hate it and I will fight every attempt to get me to do it again." Anybody got ideas on how to move this stubborn perfectionist from point A to point B? I've just been making her do things anyway, until she gets it right (then I can't stop her). Nobody said parenting was easy. Parenting and teaching can be twice as hard sometimes.

So anyway, I am teaching to the test this summer as a favor to my daughter. How is that for a twist?

Confirmation that the Happy Boy is acting older

Over the past few days, I've been retiring old baby toys and generally removing some of the clutter of toys from our living room. As a result of this, I saw little change in my son's activities. So far, so good. I was removing toys that he didn't play with. Today, In the process of helping my girls clean away some unneeded items from their room, I decided to move the playmobile toys to the living room to be shared toys. These are the playmobile toys that are appropriate for 1 1/2 year-olds and up (fewer moving parts). I figured that he has only 2 more months to go to meet the age limit and he already loves to play with them every time he has managed to get in his sisters' room.

The result of this experiment? All of the kids play with the playmobile toys more. However, the Happy Boy is in heaven. He is playing with these toys for an hour or so at a time, with no complaints (except from his sisters if they are playing at the same time, he tends to act like Godzilla). The clutter is back in the living room, but it is a clutter from a different kind of toy. It is also the clutter of a well played with set, rather than the pick-up and drop five seconds later scenario we had before.

So what kind of play is this boy doing? The usual pretend play. He helps the playmobile people go down a slide. He puts them in cars. He puts them in and out of houses. This is pretty standard, I realize. But it shows that he isn't that far off from playing like his sisters do. It gives me hope that in about a year, they might actually be able to play together (all three) at times.

How are the girls handling the changes? Quite well actually. I've moved toys and books around and had them help me select which stuffed animals to keep. They know that many of the toys are going to be given new homes. It doesn't seem to bother them a bit. I'm sure that it will bother them the next time they want a particular toy and we don't have it anymore. But, that too is part of learning about life and the consequences of one's decisions. As for their play habits, I noticed them doing something new the other day. They were playing "Cinderella." They would take turns being Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother (or Fairy Grandmother according to the Adrenaline Junkie). They acted out the key events of the story in a whirlwind short version that took no more than five minutes. I think their Daddy's wish that they get involved in drama will probably come true because every time they finished, they would switch off roles and do it again. They entertained themselves like this for at least an hour straight.

Let me tell you...any time kids these ages can entertain themselves for an hour straight, it is a blessing from God. If I hadn't been suffering from a cold this week, Life would have been perfectly blissful. Well, OK, they did cry and complain and whine a little this week too. But they always do that. I'm trying to count my blessings.

Change happens in very little time

It is striking me once again, how fast a baby grows up. About a month ago, my son was mobile and into everything. I could barely do anything but follow him around to keep him out of trouble. Now, he actually follows directions (like "sit down on the chair, you aren't allowed to climb on the table.") He is getting better at pointing at what he wants, since he isn't saying much at all. You can only communicate so much with grunts, squeals, giggles, and wails. Fortunately, he has also begun to like me to read his picture books to him where we name the pictures. I'm consciously putting more time into that to help him learn the names for things, in hopes that he will start to say the names. A few weeks ago, he would run off having no interest in books at all.

I remember this time with my girls. When the Pillowfight Fairy was this age, she was also barely containable and I was pregnant with the Adrenaline Junkie. I remember at the grocery store, asking mothers of a toddler and baby how far apart in age their kids were. I was all the time trying to figure out how one manages two kids with very different needs while still doing the necessary errands. I needn't have worried so much. Once the Fairy turned 18 months, she began to turn into an older child who was easier to manage. I saw the same thing happen with the Adrenaline Junkie when I was pregnant with the Happy Boy. This time I'm beginning to see it with the Happy Boy (perhaps noticing it earlier, since it is a familiar thing now). He is still a handful, but I'm seeing the beginnings of a new life with an older child.

I suppose it is a tendency that all people have: to see what the present circumstances are, and assume the future continues on in that fashion. The reality is that change happens and it happens quickly.

The Adrenaline Junkie showed no interest in letters at the same age as her sister. She had different interests, but then we got a leap frog video teaching the alphabet and she had the letters and their sounds mastered in no time. She was never as interested in drawing as her sister. Her Sunday craft papers were barely scribbled for the longest time. She was too busy running around to sit down and draw. Then a few months back, she decided that scribbling was a fun thing to do. Then suddenly one day, she was drawing recognizable people figures and writing mostly legible letters of the alphabet. As my husband noted in a recent post, she is starting to sound out words. She is beginning to be ready to read at age 3 1/2 just like her sister. I would never have guessed it. She always seemed to be less interested in academics and more interested in climbing and running. Now she wants school work, too. She still has a tendency to wiggle off her seat, so I'll have to keep any teaching to just a few minutes at a time at first.

The Pillowfight Fairy has been changing, too. But in her case it has been more subtle. It has to do with her making choices to do group things (like Christian Day camp) when she has a very strong loner tendency and has often complained about how she doesn't get along with the other kids. She is also becoming more aware of her surroundings. It is like she is starting to pick up a small amount of perspective. She is more aware of the passage of time. She is more aware of the fact that people buy and sell and she would like to do some of that to get what she wants. She complained bitterly about schoolwork, and now that it is over she keeps wanting to get started on the new year of books. Her craft projects have demonstrated her increased mastery of words and art and numbers.

In each case, I see a little glimpse of the future in my children. So now that I've mostly got the next school year planned out. I need to turn my attention to a late spring cleaning and getting ready for the next phase. I can see it coming around the corner. It's trying to sneak up on me. The youngest is outgrowing his changing table. He is wanting to do big kids stuff like coloring and looking at books with thin pages. The middle child wants to be like her older sister and use glue, tape and scissors. The oldest wants to do all sorts of things she hasn't even thought of yet, but as soon as she knows about them, she's all for it. I need to sort through everybody's toys and thin out what isn't played with anymore. I need to start rearranging what toys are in the living room to be shared by everyone. I need to make room in each bedroom. For the girls, they will eventually need room for more older kid stuff, that their brother still can't play with. For the Happy Boy, he will need a new bed by the time he turns two next February. Since we are trying to have another baby and since any such baby would be sharing a room with him, we can't remove all the baby furniture yet. But we will need to make it more workable for an older Happy Boy.

Now, I love planning what needs to be done. I have always planned for the future (usually long before it is needed). But, This kind of planning, where one tries to balance the different needs of so many people when they are all in a state of change, reminds me of juggling. The attention is drawn to the most immediate action needed, but you can't completely ignore the other items yet, since they are on an incoming path, too. There is multi-tasking and then there is multi-tasking. This is some heavy multi-tasking. Hopefully, I can get the basic outline of a plan set up before I start the new year of school with the girls. Isn't summer just a wonderfully relaxing time of year (said with heavy sarcasm). I find myself looking forward to fall when I can get into a regular routine.

The Realization That Homeschooling Is Changing My Life

It dawned on me recently that my homeschooling was more than a side issue in my life. It is more than a hobby. It is more than something I can do in my free-time. It is an honest to goodness new lifestyle choice. We are all used to hearing people talk about lifestyle choices. Sometimes I agree that they have a new and different lifestyle and sometimes I think they are trying to make something out to be more grandiose than it actually is. This time I think I've hit on one of these new ways of living.

Let me do a quick historical summary to illustrate what I mean. Until relatively recently in history, people married, had kids, raised their children and made a living as a family unit. The whole family (sometimes a whole tribe or community) all traveled, worked, learned, entertained, ate, slept, did every major life activity together. On occasion one member of the family had to leave (such as going to war or going off to hunt), but even then this was done as a group activity and those left behind were continuing the usual activities as a group. With the industrial revolution, it was more common for member of the family to "go to work" and then come home to the family. The raising of the kids, education and all those other things people do became a separate thing from "work." In recent memory, family sizes have dwindled and more and more women have gone to work in addition to the men who have been in the main workforce longer. You still get people hashing out the "Stay-at-home Mom" vs. "Working Mom" dilemma. There are more options now. You have "Stay-at-home Dad," "Work at home," and "Part-time work." There are extended families that work out the various needs in a family for the division of labor. We currently live in a world that allows for great variety of solutions for how to have, raise, and support a family.

O.K. the history review is over. I started thinking about this recently as I've been homeschooling a preschooler, then a kindergartener, and in the coming year a first-grader. At first, homeschooling was just helping my kids learn (as I've done since they were born). Then it was a little more than that. It was more academic learning than it was before. It took a little more time and a little more need to understand learning styles, methods of teaching, and patience to discover what works best for my kid. Now as I'm starting to look at a new school year where I will be teaching more subjects and spending probably about twice the time we currently spend on "School-work." As I've been making plans and gathering the resources we will need, I've realized that I'm a teacher. Really! I'm not pretending! I'm not a wannabe! I really do the job of a teacher.

This was a bit of a shock to me, you see. I had declared mightily during my college years that I was not going to be a teacher. Every teaching assignment I've had through the years (either volunteer or in my career), I always said that it was temporary. "I'm not a teacher!" I would declare. But, in the past few years, I've been exercising those teaching skills and here I am.

I have found myself in a new lifestyle where I'm a "Stay-at-home Mom", but I'm also a "Working Mom" at the same time. I "Work-at-Home"and also "Take my kids to work." I'm not sure how to answer questions anymore when people ask me what I do without going into more detail than the question intended. Usually people want to know what category do you fit into. Somehow, the former categories no longer contain all that I do.

I suppose the term homeschooler is supposed to cover it, but somehow that doesn't help put me into a specific category for easy communication. After all, there are so many different ways to homeschool. Then of course, there are all the mistaken stereotypes out there. Even among homeschoolers you can't just say "homeschooler" and be completely understood. You have to detail what methods you follow or other details of what your homeschooling experience is like to understand similarities and differences.

So, all that being said, I'm stuck with the idea that maybe this is a new lifestyle for our modern world. A way to get some of those traditional and historical family duties and relationships into our modern world. Our modern world is somehow shaped differently and we needed to find a new way to do those old things.

Miscellany floating about my brain

Between my being busy doing the stuff of life and my husband being a more prolific blogger than myself, I haven't posted much lately. I couldn't quite narrow down a topic this time, so I decided to touch on the various things that have been of interest to me lately.

1. I think our garden is a success. OK, so we've mainly been harvesting lettuce, spinach and radishes so far. But the carrots and brussel sprouts have been coming along nicely as well. I've recently replanted in our empty areas (where previous plantings didn't take) such lovely things as 7 Zucchini plants, 3 crook-neck squash plants, 6 bell pepper plants, 2 serrano pepper plants, 1 sweet banana pepper plant, and a "baby girl" cherry tomato plant. Several green bean plants are also sprouting in addition to some pumpkins and sunflowers. I think that this group of plantings will be easier plan out drip irrigation lines so I won't have to rush outside to water the garden as frequently. (And, yes I know how prolific squash plants are, I plan to do a lot of preserving for later use).
   
2. I have successfully made home-made butter and buttermilk and I am quite proud of myself. I remember seeing my grandmother do it, and it is very satisfying to have done it myself. I think this falls into the category of Tim's survivalist urge, but I just like to think I might be able to pass down some knowledge to my kids of how people used to live, instead of letting the knowledge die out.
3. The Happy Boy is growing fast. At 15 months old, I'm moving him into his 24 month/2T wardrobe. He can reach most things on the dining room table and has just this week learned to climb up and sit in the chairs. So far he hasn't actually climbed onto the table, but it wouldn't be a huge leap of logic. His sisters are not sure how to handle this new turn of events. He still doesn't say much but he obviously understands a lot. I remember with the girls how the increasing mobility just seemed to keep getting to be more and more of a problem until about 18 months, then it got better. I hope that is how it is going to be with him.
4. The school year is coming to an end and we have survived it. The Pillowfight Fairy has made progress. We have just a couple more weeks of planned lessons and then we will be reviewing areas she had difficulty with and just doing fun learning games and workbooks. It will give her the variety she craves. The repetitive nature of much of her studies was irritating her lately. She still loves to use creativity whenever possible. She loves to read and has been begging me to let her look at her new books for next school year. She has been prolific with her art and writing. She is definitely ready for next year's challenge. Fortunately, much of the increase in work will be reading and writing about what she read. Both of those things are strong areas for her.
5. The Adrenaline Junkie will be ready to read soon, so I need to figure out how I'm going to handle her lessons in addition to her sister's. She is about the same age as the Fairy was when the older one started reading. She knows all her letters and the basic sounds that they make. She has a rudimentary idea of how they go together to make words. She likes to look at books and pretend that she is reading them (or rather memory read them as she looks at the pictures). She just has the attention span of a gnat (like most 3 year olds) and doesn't quite have the desire to sit down and work on it yet. Yet, she has got to this point faster than I expected. She just seems to come to it from a different direction from her older sister. So, I need to start getting my ideas together. After all, we can't do it the same way we did for her sister. We have to correct all our mistakes and make new ones. :) I'm thinking a using the Blue back speller as a starting point for lessons. Specifically, using the syllabary to teach the letter sounds in a context she will encounter when putting together words. There is still plenty of planning room to adjust what we need to do for her. I figure that I will let her come over and listen in on the readings we do with her sister whenever she is interested. She has also become very fond of Mother Goose rhymes. We have a very good collection of Mother Goose where she loves to look over the pictures.
6. I wonder sometimes if I am insane to want a fourth child. Maybe I am. But if so at least I'm willing to put in the extra work that extra child means. So for now, we hope and wait for what God has planned for us.
7. It has finally dawned on me that I'm a working mother. Yeah, I know a stay-at-home Mom works. I've known that for a long time. But, this revelation is that I am a working mother (putting a certain number of hours in) working as a teacher. I am not paid, but I am definitely putting in the time with planning lessons, teaching, correcting, revising, etc. In all methods of measurement, except pay, I am a working Mom. This is a little ironic, since I kept telling people back in my college days that I was not going to be a teacher. Ah well, we are all entitled to change our minds.

So how do I sum up all of this? Hmmm.... Maybe, I just have kids, homeschooling, and various back-to-basics activities on the brain lately. At least the gardening and butter-making was all my idea. Yeah, it can be useful in teaching our kids, but the truth is that I wanted to do it for me. Isn't it nice when Mommy's hobbies are good for the family, too? I made biscuits today too. Wow, I'm on a roll. Someday, I'll get back to baking homemade bread a couple times a week. And when the kids are older, I'll teach them to bake the bread, make the butter, make clothes, plant and harvest the garden. Then, maybe I'll branch out to spinning and weaving. My college roommate suggested that I should have been Amish. Maybe so....

Another loss

A couple of weeks ago I felt another loss. This time it was the father of a good high school friend. But, that description doesn't seem to do him justice. Our families were close as far back as I can remember. In fact, his two boys stayed the night with us when their sister was born. He and my father served together as elders for decades. We camped together. I sang on the praise team with his wife. I went to college with his son, who I considered one of my few really good friends from high school on. I hung out at their house nearly every Saturday night for three or four years straight.

Although I didn't have a super-close relationship with this man, our lives were lived in close proximity. He was like a second father or an uncle. I was completely comfortable to be myself in his presence as if I were in my own family. Some people get uncomfortable around "The Elders", but I tended to see them as just my Dad and my old family friends. This particular man, who had the memorable name of Browning, was not just an Elder, but chairman of the Elders. He cared about people deeply. He had the gift of hopitality, teaching, administration, and service. He was active in church service at the time of his death. He is sorely missed by family, friends, the whole church he worked with, and untold number of people who were touched by his life.

Browning was not all that old by my reckoning (of course that changes as I age). He was about 67. He had a few chronic health issues, but you wouldn't know it by looking at him. His death was a surprise to everybody. Usually, we expect people to have obvious failing health, a retirement from active involvement in the business of life, and then death comes after some lingering illness. We don't expect it to come so suddenly.

I haven't been able to figure out if I'm feeling his loss more because I cared about him that much, or if I am hurting for my friend who has lost a father, or if I am realizing that this is another of my parent's generation to go and I begin to miss my own parents already. It is probably a little of all of the above. I've been to more memorial services in the past couple of years than I ever had in my previous ten (which included the deaths of my own grandparents). Maybe I'm just realizing the fragility of life a little more personally than I used to.

Whatever the reasons, I will miss seeing Browning's smile the next time I visit my home church. He was a good man, and I'm glad that he was a part of my life.

Don't you hate it when you feel God correcting you?

Several times in the last week, I have been feeling God correcting me about a personality flaw. I have joked about it and taken an unbecoming pride in it and now I need to work at changing it.

I have a mercy problem. That is I need to work my mercy muscles so that they can do the work God has me to do. I began to realize this in the past week when the Pillowfight fairy was starting to show problem behaviors as a result from anxiety, and I was trying to force her to push through it and toughen up. I suppose I felt the need to push, because I am an adult and I can see no good reason for her fears. But, when I look back to my own childhood, I see myself as an equally fearful kid. I remember the terror I had at things that were perfectly ordinary and the frustration the rest of the family had with me. I was labeled a "sensitive child" by my teachers and a "Cry-baby" by my peers. I wanted to give my daughter a different road, and in the process, I didn't see that she is a sensitive child and I need to be understanding instead of playing the meany.

I remember hearing a variety of stories (I think one of them is in Anne of Green Gables) where someone acknowledges a flaw of theirs but tells the person they are talking to that "that's just the way I am, you'll have to get used to it." The other person replies that such an attitude is crazy. Whether the habit is outbursts of anger, tactlessness, or in my case a lack of mercy when it is needed, the proper response is to try to change for the better. I have no right to hold on to hurtful habits out of selfishness. So I am going to try to turn over a new leaf and learn to show mercy to my children more. I will try to learn to use gentleness in getting around problems as much as I can.

Lately, the Pillowfight Fairy seems to be needing more one-on-one time with Mommy, so I will start there. I will do more of our daily activities with her instead of sending her off to do things on her own (freeing me up for other stuff). It is tempting to try to rush her growing up for my own convenience, but although she looks old enough to be seven or eight (because of her height mostly), she is only five and needs the gentleness that most five year-olds need. I remember that I was always tall for my age and so was mistaken for an older child. But, I was really slightly behind in my emotional development. I suspect my oldest girl is the same way. I'll try to remember what it was like to be that age a little more as I help her navigate the ups and downs of her life.

How do we talk to our children?

A chance comment from a fellow shopper at the grocery store Saturday got me thinking about how my husband and I talk to our kids. She said "I love how you talk to your kids. It's so cute." Ever since, I've been trying to reconstruct our conversations in the produce section that prompted a stranger to tell me that. I'm still a little mystified.

I usually consider myself not terribly great about how I interact with my kids. I hear my kids talk to each other or to me and hear echoes of the bad habits I have influenced them with. They are soooo good at getting that annoyed tone of voice that I have used on them. The oldest is getting pretty good at my "I mean business" way of barking orders. I tend to beat up on myself about how I need to be better about how I talk to them.

In my defense, I do try to talk to them about everything that we do and let them know what I'm doing. If problem topics come up, I try to talk about them using truth and simplicity at the age level they need. I try to use good manners myself in hopes that they will copy me in that. I make a point of telling them that I love them several times a day.

So what was going on at the grocery store that was notable? Well, first of all, the whole family was there. Usually I go by myself or with just the baby so that it isn't nearly so chaotic. Tim usually stays home with the older kids. But last Saturday, we had a different schedule and decided to try it as a family for a change. To our oldest two, who don't get to come as often, it became a great adventure. I think what the stranger in the store saw was both Mommy and Daddy talking with our kids as we got things from our list. They only things that I can think of that might have been noteworthy were the fact that our kids were giddy with delight at being there, that the girls were actively helping us shop and that they were making suggestions about what we should buy(I think we should get some more grapes, Dad!). We were all having an adventure and enjoying it.

I will try to come up with some lessons to take away with this:

Ahem...

• We as parents need to lighten up.
• I was so obsessed with the bad behaviors, that I wasn't seeing the good behaviors.
• Kids like to live like life is an adventure. We grown-ups are the party poopers too much of the time.
• I definitely need to take advantage of every hint of helpfulness my kids display.
• I also need to enjoy those good times because they all come to an end. By the time we were going down the last aisle before checkout, two of the three kids were in tears and we were getting sympathetic comments instead.

So, I hope this gets you thinking about how you talk to people. I probably would never have noticed this unless someone took the risk to tell a stranger what they thought. (By the way, have you ever noticed how people are more willing to talk to you when you have kids with you?)

Spring means renewal

I like spring. Spring is a time of renewal. When I was a kid I liked summer better. I could play outside most of the day without any school. But now, Spring is the season I like best. Where we live, the trees are blooming the allergens are wafting on the breezes and the home improvement stores and plant nurseries are packed with people ready to get going on the projects they have in mind for good weather.

We are always busy, but it has seemed busier than usual this sping. We just mailed off our tax returns, so that is done. We finished out our new garden this weekend by putting in supports and planting snow peas and grapevines. The garden looks mostly like a muddy mess right now, but I've started to see tiny radish seedlings poking up (they are always the first ones, right after the weeds). We are all well again after a three week bout of illness which put all plans on hold. I don't think my husband will mention it, but he got a promotion and raise. It is always nice to be appreciated by one's employer.

Between the return of sunny weather, the garden, and life seeming good right now, It feels strange to be saying that the school year is running down. I can see the end of our currently scheduled work in just a month or two. We also do some kind of schooling pretty much all year, so it feels strange for that reason too. I have had trouble in the past being in sync with the traditional academic year. Somehow our daughter seems ready for something new long before fall, so for the past two years I have started her new school year in the first week of August. We are usually well finished with what I had planned by May, so June and July become a very light schooling time and we spend more time going for walks, playing outside, and doing fun things. That time becomes my planning time to get ready for the new school year.

This year however feels like a bigger challenge. Although I've been homeschooling for two years now, it has been preschool and kindergarten. Our daughter is above average in reading ability at this age so her reading skills are probably a grade or two advance. Still, This coming year is first grade. This fall she will be required by the state of California (based on her age) to be enrolled in a legally accepted educational situation. If you follow my husband's blog, you know that their is a current court case that has the homeschool community stirred up about whether homeschooling is legally recognized in our state. I will let him worry about that for now. What worries me is that I expect so much of myself in homeschooling our kids and this year was the year that I was going to be adding probably twice as much work as we currently do. In addition, my next daughter is probably ready to start working on some pre-reading skills.

I have heard numerous times from homeschoolers that the first year is the hardest. I think it was true for us (at least so far) because we were feeling our way and our daughter was so young that many curricula were just mismatched to use with her. This past year has felt easier. We had our plan of action, it worked relatively smoothly, and we made steady progress. I was pleased with the curriculum materials we had chosen. We covered language arts appropriate to a Kindergartener (reading practice, writing practice, memorization, vocabulary words, and spelling words), beginning math skills (using Horizons Math published by Modern Curriculum Press), Piano and lots and lots of art.

Next year we are adding formal grammar, history, and science. My first challenge is to finalize our plans about what we will be doing and what curriculum we need for what. We are planning to follow a classical education plan (for those of you who are familiar with educational theory). We still have not decided about when to introduce a non-English language and which language that would be.

Since we are winding down on our current school year with what we had planned so far, and since my daughter always seems to be ready for something new when everybody else is taking a break, I am tempted to try something new. I am tempted to take our year-round school literally and slowly add new aspects that we plan to cover next year a little at a time. I know that she is ready for more formal grammar instruction for example. Why don't I go ahead and get that started and keep up some form of reading and writing practice like we already do. Maybe I could just do the reading and writing in a new way to keep it fresh for her. We could do more math play during the late spring and summer to keep her from forgetting it all before I start her in the next level. It would also help reinforce her understanding of the facts she has covered so far. I already know she needs more work on learning money and measurements. Those are both best learned by hands on practice. Once she has had the added work for a month or two, I could try adding history or science. That way when we start school up in the fall as a first grader, It won't all hit at once and feel overwhelming.

I suspect it would be easier on me that way, too. I know I don't like feeling like I've had extra work dumped on me either. And whether I like it or not, teaching children in the early grades requires a lot of one-on-one attention. I keep hearing that the older they get the better they work independently. I know that my daughter can work steadily for hours without help if she loves it (art is like that for her). But however good she is at other subjects, she needs someone right there to remind her what she should be doing.

So I am in the process of figuring out how to renew our homeschooling for another year. Let's hope the court case allow us to do this for many years to come.

Sordidness

I've been tagged for an internet meme by my beloved husband. My link to his blog is on my sidebar. By participating in this meme, I am to reveal 5 sordid things about myself. "Sordid" for this game is to be defined as: adj. wretchedly poor; filthy; morally degraded.

The rules are:

1. Link to your tagger, and post these rules.
2. Share five wild crazy facts about yourself.
3. Tag five people at the end of your post, and list their names, linking to them.
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.

Before I start, let me address the debatable merits of participating in such a game. Anyone who reveals 5 truly sordid things about themselves which would come back to haunt or hurt them, is too stupid or naive to be using the internet. I am assuming this is a game to be done in the spirit of fun. the fact that the rules also use the description "wild and crazy facts" gives a lot of leeway. Also, since I have not had an outrageously sordid life, my facts will be too tame to be used for gossip or blackmail. I have gotten beyond my embarrassment of them and they now are simply whom I have been, am currently or possibly may be in the future. Nor am I a perfectionist in any form or shape. My hope in life is in God's grace. So, with no further ado....

1. I have cleaned my toilets on average once a year since we have had children. I was raised with much cleaner standards of hygiene than this, so it is still something I hope to change in the future. But in my current reality, it is what it is.
2. Besides the fact that I was raised in this country as an English speaking person, went through very good schools all the way through graduate level, and (I like to think) am a contemplative person who thinks before I speak, I have produced some uses of the English language that are truly wretched and thoroughly amusing. I am constantly making my husband laugh on nearly an everyday basis on my strange and ill-starred word choices. It doesn't come out nearly so bad in print.
3. As a librarian I have what in the profession is almost considered a moral deficiency in that I can toss a book in a trash can with no compunction at all. To those of you outside of this profession, I must explain. You see the library profession tends to attract bibliophiles (that is people who love books). In fact many of these people are so extreme in their love of books that they have a physical revulsion of discarding in any way any book. They may try to save their consciences by trying to find the book a loving home by way of book sales, book swaps or donations to other groups, but eventually some books for a variety of reasons just need to be tossed on the garbage heap. The dislike of having to take responsibility for such a decision and actually doing it is such that some libraries have to hire an outsider to come in and do the dirty deed. It has crossed my mind that I could swing that as a part-time job if I get the right connections.
4. I have punished my children for things that were not their fault and treated them harshly when they were needing extra compassion. There is not one parent on this planet that hasn't done that at some time or another. It helps keep us all humble.
5. I lied to my second grade teacher about finishing my math workbook so that I could go play the cool math games that some of the faster students were doing. I don't think I ever finished that workbook and my subsequent troubles with the multiplication tables may have been a direct result of my trying to skip ahead before I was ready. I reaped the consequences of my error and finally got back on the straight and narrow learning my math properly and managed to go all the way through calculus before I decided I had enough. Looking back on this I now see that although I idolized this teacher at the time, she wasn't that great of a teacher. She did not deal with her students justly, she was petty and lazy. This doesn't excuse my behavior, but it does explain how a second grader could get away with not having her work checked.

That is my list for your amusement. However I am not passing this meme on to anyone. I just think passing things along like that is too much like a chain letter. I always hated those. Feel free to participate if you wish.

Light at the end of the tunnel

The wave of winter illness struck us almost two weeks ago. The first two kids to get the virus that causes fevers for up to seven days, have now got their appetites back and are merely drippy nosed. Those two happy ones are the Adrenaline Junkie and the Happy Boy. Somehow they managed to get sick on the exact same day (unless I misread symptoms). Now the Pillowfight Fairy is sick with the fever and off her feed. So far, Tim and I have not come down with it. I've been fighting something like a cold the whole time. As of today, however, I'm beginning to think that it's Spring allergies.

It's not easy going through a wave of illness like this. I'm grateful that this time the parents were well, during the bulk of the kid-sickness. We are still on the brink of a serious case of cabin fever, however. At least we have had nice weather for the last week. There were a few days when we were able to get outside for walks or playing in the backyard (hence my suspicion of allergies) and that seemed to help us a little. The trees and flowers are blooming and it feels like spring. Day by day we are getting closer to being well... the light at the end of the tunnel.

My husband is planning on doing a post on our project today as we took turns taking care of kids while the other parent worked outside. I will summarize from my perspective. We planted a vegetable garden. Yesterday, Tim moved around dirt to level things out, killed a bunch of weeds with Round-Up, and mowed. Today he roto-tilled the garden area for me. Then I raked it level, divided it up and made rows. Then I bought seeds and planted. It doesn't look all that big when you see it in context with our huge backyard. But, it is really a very big garden.

I've waited four and a half years to plant that garden. It is an early spring garden, so I've planted cooler weather vegetables: carrots, cabbage, lettuce, spinach, radishes, onions, chives, parsley, basil, and brussel sprouts. Next weekend, we hope to get supports in so we can plant grape vines and snow peas. We decided that a spot in our small orchard would work for our compost pile. We have almost finished our backyard. Once again a light at the end of the tunnel.

I'll be spending a little time every day watering, weeding, and eventually picking fresh veggies. There will be a lot of weeding. The weeds have spread widely since we've moved in. We keep underestimating how fast the weeds go to seed, and kill them after they've gone to seed. As a result, we have more weeds. So much of this coming growing season will be a fight against the weeds. We will need to eradicate them from several large sections of our yard and then put down ground cloth and wood chips. In the garden, I expect that I'll be pulling weeds nearly every day.

Since finances have been a little tight after the big project from last year and several unexpected expenses, we don't think we will be finishing up all the landscaping just yet. But to make the patio area pretty, I think I'll sow several packets of wildflowers that I already have.

Getting outside and making things look nice again has been really satisfying. I'm sure it will take a few seasons yet before everything is just the way I imagined it. But, it is getting there.

As for the sick days we have had recently, I've had a lot of "light at the end of the tunnel" thoughts. Our oldest child is five years old. Five-year-olds are still fussy and clingy when sick, but they are much easier to work with than a three-year old or an infant. The three year old is super fussy and clingy when sick, but at least she can talk and communicate how she feels, if she's hungry, or if her food is about to come up. The baby (or I should say toddler, since he's walking) is as hard to figure out as ever. If he's not happy, something is wrong.

I realize that sick days will only be getting better as the kids get older. The Pillowfight Fairy is ten times better as a sick child now than when she was three. I have wondered how many of those people I know who decided to stop having kids after one or two, decided this after a bad bout of sickness while the kids were preschool age or younger. I know it crosses my mind on those really tough days.

Somehow, as my kids get older I am seeing another light at the end of the tunnel. We still hope to have another child, but even so I'm not going to be having pregnancies much longer. I'm forty. If we are blessed again, it will be our last I think. Eventually, the baby years will pass. The Toddler years will pass. Preschool years will pass. I will get to rid myself of spare toys and baby clothes, maternity clothes and bottles. Some day we will no longer need booster seats at the table. I am looking forward to the older kid stages.

Third in a series

I'll try to make this short, since I'm already up too late.

Today's topic is "Why are we so dissatisfied with everyday life that we feel the need to do special things as a nearly everyday thing". In reading my Dad's memoirs and remembering stories my Mom told of her growing up years, they had a whole lot of everyday life without the special stuff. When they did have special times, such as holidays or special trips, they were much simpler than we would make them. On holidays, they would have a nice meal. This consisted of a little more than what was served everyday with maybe a special dessert that was only made for that holiday. If it was an occasion where presents were given, they would have received only one or two gifts. Eating out was a picnic, a potluck, or a meal at another person's house. A meal in a restaurant was rare. Special foods that were savored, were ordinary foods that you only got when they were in season.

I find that I am tempted to try to make too many special things in my life. Some of it may come from our advertising culture that tries to make you think that you aren't satisfied with what you have. But, I think some of it is from my own inner child wanting to do the special stuff for my benefit. Christmas is a good example. How many family traditions did you have growing up? Didn't your spouse have some traditions they want to pass on to your family? Have you heard of family and friends doing things that sounded to you as a good idea? Before you know it you are drowning in an avalanche of special things to do for Christmas. After all, if every day is special, it doesn't really stand out against the experiences of every day life. I find myself doing something "for the kids" that is really all about me. They might enjoy it, but I can't keep doing special things all the time. I have to somehow get the message across that it is special and no we aren't going to do it every single day.

I have a recent example from my life. I have fond memories of baking special things at Christmas. So, in my mind, I would like to repeat this for my children. But, since I'm going to be doing something special, why not go all out and pick something new that I've never done before. I decided to do popcorn balls and a Gingerbread house. I should have known better. Christmas is my craziest time of year. I need a simple quiet time, not more activity. Well, this year was a little bit crazier than most and the popcorn balls and the gingerbread house didn't get done. Looking back I was quite disappointed about that. Then one day at the grocery store I noticed all of the Valentine's day candy showing up in the store. I had an idea! Who says a gingerbread house is only for Christmas time? We can do one for Valentine's Day!

It took about a week of interruptions and delays, but we finally completed the gingerbread house today


The girls did enjoy the process. They helped me do the gingerbread recipe. The Pillowfight Fairy helped me roll out and cut the dough. They watched me make the icing glue. They both helped me decorate it with candies. I'm very happy about how it turned out. I must say, anyone who has put one of these things together can be considered a wiser gingerbread architect than when they first started. As much as the kids liked doing this, it was still Mommy's project. I didn't want to let other people interfere with my vision. Although, I did ask advice from my husband since he had worked with a group of people to build a gingerbread castle once. I finally had my special Christmas baking experience that turned out to be a belated Valentine's Day experience when it was all said and done.

How does this tie in with where I started? Well, I was trying to graft on a tradition into my family so that we would have one more special thing to remember. Even though we don't really need anything more added to the other special things we were doing. There is nothing wrong with special things or events. I am even a little proud of the fact that I adapted this bit of confection to a different holiday than is traditional. However, I am newly keen to the idea that this takes a ridiculous amount of work. Nearly every special thing or event in our lives takes extra work. This was true for my parents in their family's growing up and it is true of my family today. They didn't have a lot of special things or events in their lives. There was a whole lot of sameness from day to day. I think that they tried to give my brothers and I more than they had growing up. In turn I am trying to do even more for my kids.

I hope my kids remember some of the special things that we do. I hope they remember that their Mom would try something new from time to time. But, I don't want them to think that a day without something special is a substandard day. I think I want to be picky about the special things that we do. I don't want to get too elaborate or we won't be able to afford the special things in time, effort or money. I don't want them to be too frequent or we might think that they are necessary to our lives and can't be done without. But, I don't want to go to the opposite extreme. I don't want to make our special family times ordinary.

I guess it all comes down to priorities. When celebrating a birthday, what do we want to remember as special? The event or the person? When celebrating Christmas do we emphasize gifts, the nativity, music, or family? What will be the special part for us? When we choose a field trip, do we plan carefully to match exactly what we are studying in school or do we take the opportunities as they arise? We probably need a little of both. It is possible that we can fill our lives with so much that none of it makes an impression anymore.

By the way, my parents revel in doing special things now. They enjoy tremendously giving their grandkids an overflowing generous measure of special treatment. They travel all over the country in an RV and enjoy doing things they never got to do earlier. I think they treasure those memories of special times when they were young, but they know that those simpler times were simple out of necessity. What will I treasure as I look back? What will my kids treasure? I don't know. I hope I will treasure some of the simple things as special along with some of the more elaborate things.

Second in a series

In my second post in this series, (which is in no particular order subject-wise) I thought that I would talk about work. This is because not only does my Dad's memoirs talk a lot about the work that people did when he was growing up, but because today our family went to the Sacramento Spinners and Weavers Guild Show. Between the two things, it got me thinking about how we do work.

The Show we went to today was filled with people demonstrating their craft and showing finished products. These people do what they do for the love of it. They are very good at it, but I don't know that many of them try to make a living by doing it. The various types of work my Dad recalls from his youth is more of the latter. In his growing up years they did do the basic work themselves and didn't have many choices. You either did it yourself, hired it done, or did without. Besides farming crops and caring for animals, my Dad mentions people in his life doing bee-keeping, running mills to process food, building log houses, building stone chimneys, digging wells, and repairing fences. I remember my grandmother made most of her own clothes from bought fabric. I remember my mom talking about churning butter. Mostly, the people in their lives did these things because they had to. Some of them, like my grandfather, loved it, too.

How do I see these things in my life? I tend to be in the first category. I love to make things. I like to create useful and beautiful things, which I can point to and say, "I made that." I don't have to do it, but it allows me to put something of me into my surroundings. The people among whom my parents were around as children worked hard providing many basic items for themselves. These days, we have a multitude of labor saving devices to make our lives easier and a huge marketplace to shop for everything else. But are we better off? Materially, yes. But, we have lost something in the process. We saved our labor so that we could do lots of other things that our forebears never did or perhaps never wanted to do. We are just as busy, but don't really have that much more to show for it. Most of us have no idea how to make the things we use in our everyday lives.

There is part of me that wants to turn the clock back in some ways. If only we could keep the best parts of both worlds. I don't have time to make most of my family's clothes. But if I didn't do a lot of other things, I could make a few special outfits. I don't have time or inclination to run a farm, but if I didn't do a lot of other things, I could have a decent kitchen garden to supply us with fresh produce. I don't want to make all of my foods from scratch, but I have the equipment and inclination to make homemade bread on occasion. I could even grind the flour myself, since I have a modern electric powered grain mill. I would love to embrace so many different areas of "Do It Yourself" that I wouldn't have time for the rest of my life. Today at the show, I fell in love with the idea of spinning threads and weaving cloth. There were many beautiful examples of people's work that I would like to do too.

I remember briefly wanting to be a fashion designer when I was in High School. I like clothing with a difference. But, I haven't worn much in years that has that bit of quirky something that I love. I don't find that kind of thing in the stores much. If I sewed my own clothing, I would still be using patterns and fabric bought at the store (meaning many of the same styles found in the stores ready made). But, seeing the handmade fabrics and clothing made from them was like opening a window to new possibilities. The last clothing I made that had the quirkiness I like, was a vest that I made from quilting scraps. I copied a vest that I already had, but made it with a quilted front in a design of my own. Whenever I wear it I get comments from people. Unfortunately, I made it when I was twenty pounds lighter. Since It has gotten harder to button, I don't wear it nearly so often. But, I still got the feeling, today, that I could be that designer I wanted to be and wear my own designs. I could enjoy the creative process and satisfaction that comes from making things well.


Unfortunately, these things are not very compatible with young kids. I can't picture myself doing much of anything lately except basic food, chores, homeschooling, and keeping track of some very active kids for the next six months. Did I mention that the happy boy learned to walk and is on the verge of running? I remember this age with his sisters. It was near chaos every day until they got to be about 18 months old. I'm more experienced now, so I am able to get dinner on the table a little more predictably. But, a new hobby isn't going to happen any time soon. But I would still love to find the peace and satisfaction my ancestors had in doing their daily work, telling stories and doing craft work in the evenings and slowing down life a lot. We don't really need to be chasing after all the things we try to do. I love the ideal of simplifying. It is just a lot of hard work to achieve.

For your reading pleasure

I have been tagged for a meme by Wendy who's blog is here. The rules are to pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more, find page 123, find the fifth sentence, post the next three sentences, and then tag five people. There seems to be a dispute about whether this means sentences 5-7 or sentences 6-8. But since the book I am taking a selection from has really long sentences and sentence five is near the bottom of the page, I will assume 5-7.

I am not currently reading any books, but one of my favorite history books was within reach. It is How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill. Here is the selection from page 123:

This thirty-year span of Patrick's mission in the middle of the fifth century encompasses a period of change so rapid and extreme that Europe will never see its like again. By 461, the likely year of Patrick's death, the Roman Empire is careening in chaos, barely fifteen years away from the death of the last western emperor. The accelerated change is, at this point, so dramatic we should not be surprised that the eyes of historians have been riveted on it or that they have failed to notice a transformation just as dramatic--and even more abrupt--taking place at the empire's periphery.

I'm not sure if this selection will convince anyone to read the book, but it at least captures the idea that the book tries to communicate. Which is that something important was happening in Ireland during this time of history and that most people have completely ignored it because we have a tendency to concentrate more on the Roman Empire or other Important Empires rather than the barbaric edges of civilization.

Well, I would recommend the book to anyone who enjoys reading history.

However I do not like passing along things like this. So this meme ends here. You may do it yourself if you like.

First in a series

I would like to take the time to start a series of posts about the ideas that started floating around in my head after reading my Dad's memoirs. I would like to encourage as many people as possible to write down in some fashion, memories of their life in a sort of autobiography. Both of my parents have been doing this and they have found it helpful to sort through memories and figure out where they've been on the journey of life as well as to decide what they think is important to pass on to others who are friends and family. Being the recipient of my Dad's writing, I've gotten to read it and I would like to share some thoughts that were triggered by it.

Every person has a different story to share about their life even if they are twins who have never lived apart. But, it is very common in our world for people living side by side to have vastly different stories. Things have changed so much from one generation to the next that children have a hard time relating to their parent's experiences and also the reverse. Parents have trouble relating to their children's experiences.

My Dad was born in rural Alabama during the depression. He grew up on a farm where they used horses and mules to plow their land instead of tractors. In the community where he grew up, they were surrounded by either family or neighbors on similar farms. There were no strangers in their community. Everyone was in one of those two categories: family or neighbor. I knew this before from visits we would make back there. But after reading his stories it struck me how intertwined life was with those families and neighbors. They depended on each other in times of trouble. They helped each other survive. You might have disagreements, but doing right by your family and neighbors took precedence over personal grudges.

They also worked together to make a living. All of the people farmed. But, one family might have a mill that they would hire out to others to gain the benefit. Another family might have special equipment to be used. Still another might slaughter an animal and sell the meat to the whole neighborhood. When someone fell ill during planting time, those near them would plant the crops for them. Sometimes children would stay home from school during harvest time to help bring in the crops. Everyone worked hard and worked together. My Dad's first paid job was as a field hand working alongside his father helping in another farmer's field for extra money when he was six years old.

I don't pretend that those were the good old days. They were hard times in many ways. But, there were some social benefits that our society today has almost completely lost. In our modern communities of many thousands of people, we live and move among strangers in complete anonymity. We have our co-workers, friends, family, and other social groups (such as church, clubs, etc.), but we move through vast numbers of people for whom we care very little to meet with the next little social oasis in our life. I rarely meet people I know when I go shopping. We don't often see familiar faces in the cars next to us as we drive down the road. We might get to know our next door neighbors, but many people leave that at an over the hedge "how are you? Doin' O.K." level of communication.

We have found that our social connections that are the strongest are those like church where we do things together and work to achieve similar goals. Family is strong for us when we are spending time with each other and relying on each other. Our friends are those we invite over to our house or visit at their houses (not something people do lightly when there are so many young kids running around). The neighbors we got to know the best were the ones we had to build fences with when a storm knocked down our mutual barrier.

Compared to the world my Dad grew up in we are solitary people floating in a mass of strangers, trying to fight and scrape for a living alone. My Dad's family fought and scraped for a living, but they did it among a community of interlocking relationships where everyone helped each other. How very different it is. My parents still have the tendency to build those relationships with others and develop a support system. I have had a harder time with it. I have always prided myself in my independence. I would reserve my times of dependence to be with my family. In recent years, now that my family is no longer nearby, I have had to learn to reach out and ask for help when I need it. It is so hard. But, as a result, I have built some good friendships with those people. I suppose my next step in my personal growth is seeing a need in someone else's life and filling it without waiting to be asked.

One thing leads to another

I've been busy lately trying to get our finances back in order, so I haven't been blogging much in the evenings (also why my husband's blogging has been somewhat curtailed). But I thought that my latest endeavor was worth a posting. We were recently blessed with hand-me-down furniture.

About half of the furniture in our house falls into that category, so this isn't a new phenomenon for us. However the furniture itself is new to us and requires some rearranging to fit in. We were given a dining table with chairs and a hutch to match. Our dining room has never looked so nice. Our china and pretty things now occupy the hutch and can be seen. They have rarely seen the light of day since our wedding seven and a half years ago. Our former dining room table was a utilitarian table and set of six metal folding chairs that we were given. It was practical but not very pretty. I'm very into practical things. We folded up the table and it is now in the garage waiting for its next job. The folding chairs are supplementing our new chairs and also awaiting new orders.

It's a funny thing about new furniture. Once you start moving and rearranging things, you start to realize that your old furniture doesn't have to be in that place it has been for the last several years and you start to think about the what-ifs in your house. What if we moved that bookcase here? What if we moved that table there? You see how the thinking goes.

So, the new hutch is now housing items that used to be in an old drawer set that would be better situated in a bedroom. The girls' room is too full for new furniture, but the baby's room might be able to use it. But to put the drawer set in the baby's room requires moving out my old desk that is currently being used as a changing table.

You know, I've been wishing for a desk again. I don't like sharing Tim's desk and eventually hope to get a computer of my own. But the best place for the desk is now occupied by filing cabinets. Well.... one of the filing cabinets can fit under the desk, it was like that originally. But the other one needs a new home. It matches the wood of our big bookcases in the living room. But, to place it properly, so it doesn't stick out oddly into the room, it would need to go between the computer desk and the bookcases. That means that we would need to move the bookcases over about ten to twelve inches.

And since we are changing things in the baby's room (and are hoping someday that he will have to share that room with a sibling) we could unclutter that room some by moving out a bookcase and decorative table that belonged to my grandmother. Where to put them... hmm... There's the Master bedroom. I can find a place for the bookcase, but to move the table in there is trickier. There are two choices for it. It can either stand at the foot of our bed with no purpose at all except to look pretty (it's not terribly stable on its own), or it can be placed in the corner where it can be propped in place by two other pieces of furniture and be a nice display location for my antique clock that currently sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace (behind the child-proof fence of course) where it has been gathering dust in an undignified manner for the last four years. I like the option where I get to move the clock off the floor, but that means we have another small drawer set to move to an as-yet-undecided location.

As soon as I started talking about moving furniture around, my husband knew he was in for trouble. All of this requires some serious work. Who really wants to unload two large bookcases just to move them along a wall ten inches? But the more I thought about where things could go I realized that they should have been in those places all along and I didn't realize it.

So far this is all that has been moved: the new dining room furniture has been put in place, the set of drawers that had been in the dining room is now waiting in the entryway for its turn to move, the kitchen cabinets have been cleared of many things (opening up new space), and a bookcase and rickety table are now in the master bedroom. But considering that I did a fair amount of those last few items on my own while watching three kids, things are going well. Tim jokes that I'm going to have to stay within the laws of physics in my planning. Hey... at least I'm not suggesting moving any walls. That's what my Mom is famous for in my family.

Mulling things over

Between a hectic hard holiday season and many, many thought provoking things I am mulling over starting a series of blog posts about life and the way we live it. I just read through a booklet my Dad wrote about his memories both growing up and his life all the way to the present. I would like to ruminate about what ideas this has brought to me, but I think those thoughts need to simmer a little before serving. I just wanted people to know something meatier will be coming soon. I also wanted to encourage those who haven't given it thought to write down your memories of your younger life before the chance passes you by. I think what prompted my parents to do it was the presence of grandchildren who had no clue what life was like growing up on a farm in the 1930's and 1940's in the rural South. In the process, I've gotten to know what shaped and molded my parents a lot better (I thought that I knew all the family stories, but I didn't). It is good to look back on things from my lifetime and see them from my parent's perspective. Sometimes you need new eyes to see a memory fresh. Reliving the memories my Dad wrote down has stirred deep thoughts and ideas in my mind and heart that I think are relevant to everyone. I would like to share these ideas (and if I get his permission some of his stories) with you once I settle them in my own mind a little. Till then, just know that I am busy with getting life back together after our crazy holidays, and I'm busy thinking.

Christmas was crazy...but the candy!

Our Christmas season is always busy and crowded with activity and sickness, but this year it surpassed itself. We were out of town for nearly half of December, my husband was music director for our church's Christmas music program, He and I missed church a lot because of sickness (both ours and children's), I got in a minor car accident that still put the family van out of condition, and my husband's grandmother (the family matriarch) died on New Year's day. We just got back yesterday from the memorial service. I really crave a calm, even boring, life right now.

I do want to share something good that happened this year. I learned that candy making can be easy. I always had the impression that making candy was a refined art that only meticulous perfectionists who like cooking, chemistry and special equipment can do (that would be my husband). The family Toffee recipe falls into that category. My husband usually makes several batches at Christmas for the rest of the family. That didn't happen this year. But instead, I discovered the wonders of meltables. The candy I made included:

• Milk chocolate truffles with walnuts
• Dark chocolate covered maple candy
• Dark chocolate covered pineapple
• Pretzels dipped in white chocolate with sugar sprinkles
• Chocolate candy done in molds
• Mint candy done in molds
• White chocolate done in molds
• Chocolate covered pecans
  

My conclusions are as follows:

1. Chocolate is actually easy to work with. (at least the meltables which aren't officially chocolate since they don't contain cocoa butter but just the cocoa solids)
2. Molds are very easy to work with if they are shallow, flexible, and clean. The deeper they are the less likely you are to get a nice looking candy since you have to beat it up a bit to get the candy out. This would be a great use for the silicone bakeware stuff.
3. You can candy coat anything with meltable candy.
4. Maple candy does require a candy thermometer and experience to know when to pour it out, but otherwise it is super easy. It's just boiling syrup.

The drawback to this information is that I can now make homemade candy any time I want to. Now I just have to work on my self control.

I should have seen it coming...

My oldest daughter, the Pillowfight Fairy is very fond of art. She loves to color and draw, but painting is a special treat. Even so it surprised me about a month ago, when she brought up the subject of wanting to paint her fingernails like other people do. My first reaction was that I had not ever thought of that as painting, but I guess it is. But, as I thought more about it, I realized that she would find it a treat to be able to paint her fingernails. So I picked up some fingernail polish for her for Christmas, thinking to myself that my daughters are getting introduced to makeup earlier than I would have chosen.

You see I don't like make-up. I don't wear it. I used to wear makeup some when I was a teenager. But as I grew up, I started wearing less and less until the point that I would have to dig in a drawer to see if I have any left from bygone days. I just don't wear it. I don't like the feel of it on me. I don't like the time it takes to do. My husband fell in love with me without my using makeup. Why use it? I think people use too much of it as it is. Their self-esteem and self-identity seems to be wrapped up in it more than seems healthy to me. That isn't what I want for my girls.

But, my daughter sees makeup (or at least fingernail polish, the rest will come eventually) as another way to express her artistic nature. So what's a Mom to do? Well, this Mom decided that if they were going to be introduced to makeup (starting with fingernail polish), then they were going to have Mommy doing the introducing. So, the day she opened up her polish we took some time to do up our nails. She chose her color. She chose a color for her sister. She chose a color for Mommy. Yes, that's right, for the first time in years Mommy put on fingernail polish too. This time around Mommy applied the polish for us all. They experienced having to wait while the polished nails dried and then having the second coat applied. They experienced having to have a nail redone because it smudged. After it was done, they were very pleased and would show anyone they met.

You may wonder why I put the polish on myself if I don't like it and they were just wanting it for themselves. Well, I am a good bit older than my daughters. I had my first child at age 35. By the time my girls are twenty, I will be 55. They didn't know me when I was a teen and young adult wearing makeup. I don't want my daughters to see my hesitance to wear makeup as a fear of something. I sort of feel like I did my time doing makeup in my younger years and would rather spend my time doing other things. But if I kept to that, I can see my daughters looking back on their life with their mother and coming to a different conclusion that would be a distortion of the truth. They could very easily come to the conclusion that Mommy didn't wear make up because she just didn't. They might assume that I was ignorant about it. They might assume that I thought it was morally wrong. They might think that Mommy was just so out of touch. They might assume any number of things. But by participating with them I can open a dialogue about what is and is not important to me. I can show them that it is just another part of life that Mommy doesn't usually do, but might do for a special reason. Such as the reason that it is something they want to do for fun.

As a result, my husband has seen me with brightly colored painted nails probably for the first time this week. I think he was a little bit surprised. He knows me as a very pragmatic person. Somehow bright pink nails is a little more flamboyant than he is used to. Besides, he knows how much I dislike pink. Maybe I can convince my daughter to let me try the blue next time.

Maybe I can keep them from noticing the prevalence of lip color around them for the next five years. They like lip balm. That could work for a while. During the winter with the dry air we use that a lot. The Adrenaline Junkie will ask for it by saying "I need some yips!" She still has trouble pronouncing "L."

Well, that's all for now. I'll try to post a little more frequently now that the big rush leading up to Christmas is over.