Domestic Entropy

Science: What Good Is It?

2011-05-08T21:28:00.000-07:00

A friend recently brought up the idea that she didn't find science like physics and chemistry much help in everyday life after she left high school and wasn't recommending them unless someone was planning to further their education in those particular fields. I understand this idea, because I encountered when I was studying history in college. Whenever people would find out that was my major, they would follow up with the question: "What are you going to do with it... teach?" At the time, I had no intention whatsoever to be a teacher, so this bothered me to no end. The purpose of studying history is not to simply teach it to others. There is some benefit to the student other than to pass on the story of our lives to others.

Through the years, I've encountered this same argument for other subjects as well. Another example is theology. Most people don't bother studying theology. Most people think that the study of theology is only for those going into ministry as a career. I've found that a study of theology is helpful to identify what the student really believes (philosophy does this as well for those non-religious folk). I remember an instance when an individual called up our library to find out from someone if the children's curriculum they were about to use at their church could be trusted to have sound doctrine. I realized that if this person couldn't read a children's bible lesson and determine the adequacy of the doctrine presented, they didn't have a good grasp of their own beliefs and had a bigger problem than what are we going to teach this Sunday. They were at risk of following anyone they trust blindly and so be misled.

So, I find that there are a lot of subjects that I think that all of us could benefit from having a good grounding in. This is true whether we intend to follow that as a career or not. So let me address this issue with science. Is science useful in everyday life? What is it good for?

I agree that if you are going into some science based career, then yes a challenging, high level science curriculum is what you need. But what about most of us that do not go that route. Are we right to give science a cursory glance then discount it from there on out? I would say no. I think many of us use science every day but don't realize it because we aren't using the periodical table or doing experiments. We might agree that biology has importance because it helps us understand our bodies and what will keep them healthy. We might find Meteorology important because it helps us predict the weather and understand the change in climate where we live. But how many people realize that they are doing chemistry when they cook? Nutrition is biochemistry. Any mechanic worth his pay not only knows how to fix the machine in front of him, but understands how it works (that is physics). If you are moving furniture in your house but are concerned that you not strain a bad back, you use what you know of physic to minimize the stress to your back by using methods helpful in doing this work (dollies, wheels, sliding sheets, etc.) so your back doesn't take the brunt of the weight or strain while the forces are in action. If you garden or farm, you are engaging in biology, botany, and chemistry.

Even if we eliminate these methods of using science in everyday life, don't many of our other endeavors incorporate science. If you build something, you may actually be doing engineering work, but it helps to understand the properties of the materials you use. That is science. If you are doing artwork, it is similarly helpful to know your materials and what they are capable of. That is science. If you are teaching your children as you take a walk, that involves science (naming animals, explaining clouds and rain, why the leaves fall, new flowers in spring).

Perhaps you say this is too casual a use of science to justify much more than a very simple study in the younger ages. I would still disagree. Whenever we follow a course of study in a particular subject area, there are facts we learn, their are methods of thinking we learn, and their are exercises for the brain that we participate in that all have value.

With science, we learn many, many facts that will show up all throughout our lives. If we have some understanding of them, we won't be lost in a conversation when the facts are brought up. We will have some idea if the facts used are being used in proper context or not. We will not have to rely on another person to be our authority for what we know about it. This comes into play a lot in the political realm these days. We have all sorts of scientific claims being made about climate change and political solutions presented to deal with it. With some understanding of the facts behind the topic, we are better informed when it is time for a vote to determine public policy.

Science also has a way of thinking associated with it. It is called "scientific method." With scientific method, you have a question before you about how something works in our world. A theory is formed. Then the scientific method tests the theory for weaknesses. Does it hold up when we try to prove or disprove it? This type of thinking develops good logic and critical thinking skills. I would suggest that this type of thinking, like anything else that is a discipline, requires practice. Participating in scientific study helps us get the practice we need to think through things clearly.

I suspect this is the part that bothers people the most. First, because none of us really like to practice things that aren't our favorite topic. Secondly, because they are afraid that if they follow this method of thinking too much they might ask unthinkable questions that would undermine their cherished beliefs. Maybe, but sometimes when we ask such questions, we actually free ourselves from our own man-made presumptions. Once upon a time, theologians taught that the earth was the center of the universe. That wasn't in the Bible, but it was considered so true that the scientists who reported discoveries that suggested otherwise were persecuted. Now we see the theologians of that time as wrong, holding us back from understanding the world better. Can a person fall away from their faith by asking some of these science questions, unfortunately yes. But, I have found that many times, the faith lost is one with a faulty foundation where any challenging question is considered heretical doubt. The problem is not with the science so much as the faith foundations. And when the faulty foundation is discovered the choice before us is to either correct the foundation or reject it. As we grow from child to adult, all of us pick up ideas along the way that we are convinced of, but we discover ourselves wrong later. It wasn't anyone's fault. It was just a mis-communication or misunderstanding that didn't get fixed at the time. A silly example I can think of is an old friend confessed at one point that she thought that penguins were 6 feet tall until she was an adult. Now some get pretty good sized (emperor penguins can grow to about 4 feet I understand), but this was a mistaken idea she picked up as a kid. Sometimes these ideas get corrected earlier, sometimes they linger until we are grown. At some point when faced with a disagreement between what we think we know and what evidence we are given, we have to make a choice which way to go on it. Do we flip a coin, follow the crowd, follow someone we consider wise, or do we think it through carefully using a method like the scientific method. Sometimes we simply need to mend our foundational beliefs to more accurately reflect reality instead of rejecting them completely.

I do not believe science is the enemy of religion and religion is not the enemy of science. Too often we put them on opposite sides and make them face off. However, science is simply observing what is around us and trying to make sense of it by using our senses and our ability to use reason. Religion and philosophy is the search for truth, whether by human discovery or divine revelation. Since divine revelation is outside the realm of scientific inquiry, science really can't touch it. I will also say that I have not yet found a question that put my understanding of science or my faith into conflict.

Why do I feel the need to go into a digression about religion? Simply because our culture has been pitting the two off on each other for quite a while now. I would also say that in my own faith tradition there has been a pronounced distrust of "too much" learning and especially of science learning. That is because a lot of young people went off to college unprepared, and lost their faith along the way. Those who loved and lost them blamed the education they received. I suspect there was more of a problem with their faith foundations or a problem with their critical thinking skills.

So I consider a good foundation in science as essential as a good foundation in theology or English grammar. When a person has a "good" foundation that which you build upon it will be stable and more likely to hold together when trouble and tests come. And none of us has control over what those life tests might be.

What else is science useful for if you aren't going into the science field as a career? Should a someone going into missions or religious ministry need science for their life's chosen career? Absolutely. I don't even hesitate on that answer. It is useful. Let me explain my thinking.

Say a person wishes to do mission work or otherwise be in religious ministry (and for many of us we consider this a necessary avocation of all believers and not just a vocation for some). They will be encountering many people whom they wish to persuade that this faith is worthwhile for them to adopt for themselves. We may be successful in persuading some, because they see the benefits of following a higher moral standard than they had before. Some may be attracted by the purposeful service that can be a very fulfilling life. Some are attracted by the good, healthy and helpful relationships they find there. But, there will always be a sizable number of people in our society that reject religion because they see the believers they encounter as ignorant fools. That doesn't mean that religious people are ignorant fools, but they don't often encounter religious people who can discuss some of the issues that are important to them that are based on scientific facts (though sometimes they mistake facts and theories and don't have very good critical thinking skills themselves). If they encounter one of these well-meaning, but scientifically illiterate, religious folk and challenge them about what they believe about X, Y, or Z scientific ideas of the day, and the person responds "I don't know about that, but I know Jesus loves you", they won't take them seriously. Even if they agree that you are a good person, or a loving and philanthropic person, even if they like your friendship and appreciate any help and care you give them in a time of need, they will still discount your faith if it cannot address what they think is important. For many people in our society, science is their god-less belief system. Until you can talk to them where they are, they don't respect you. I know this because I have talked to many such persons. A conversation might start up about some discovery or some pet theory that they are following and somewhere near the end of the conversation religion comes up and they let slip that they are surprised that an intelligent person believes in God. You see in their circles of acquaintance, this doesn't happen. They usually discount the religious people they meet as well-meaning perhaps, but deluded. They have stopped listening to you. The ability to understand a conversation involving scientific principles or the latest theories, provides you a chance to keep a door open with someone (metaphorically speaking), instead of having it slammed in your face.

The ability to understand scientific method and to use good critical thinking skills allows you to be aware of sound or unsound theories, good or faulty logic, which is both useful to you personally and useful when discussing these things with others. The study of science exercises your brain to wrestle with difficult questions, examine evidence, evaluate trustworthiness of theories, and be prepared to use what you know and understand when called upon to act on this information.

So yes, I wholeheartedly recommend science as an essential area of study, even if it is not your chosen career. Just as I recommend a good grounding in language arts, or math, or religion. The facts you learn in them are useful. The ability to understand and ask good questions in them is useful. The ability to apply these areas of study in your life is useful.

A Typical Homeschool Day For Us

2011-04-05T19:49:00.000-07:00

I don't know that I've ever described in detail what a typical homeschool day looks like for us. So I took the time to take notes along the way today to help me describe the day in detail.

Disclaimer: This was a typical day in that we didn't have anything out of the ordinary planned for the day. Not every day looks like this. Some days have more work, some have less. Different subjects may be covered from day to day. Some days we start earlier, but we rarely start later (today was a late start day). I do not schedule each minute. I keep in mind what is important for me to accomplish for the day and just keep plugging away until we finish. As you will see, it can be rather chaotic and busy. If there is a badly timed appointment or someone comes down sick, It throws everything off. Also, I don't need to do a lot of lesson planning along the way. I do all of my lesson planning for the year before the school year starts (not standard practice, I'm told), so that I just have to pick up on the next day's lessons where we left off in the plan. This rendition does not include all conversations had along the way. I don't tell about all of the bathroom trips or diaper changes. I skipped at least one altercation between kids. This is simply to give a feel for what goes on during the day.

This is not anyone else's typical day homeschooling. Just ours. Every homeschooling family handles things their own way, based on their own priorities, skills, talent, time, resources, etc. I did not have this kind of schedule last year and I probably won't have this kind of schedule next year. As the kids grow older the family dynamics and the school lessons change as they need to to accommodate our changing needs. I am not dictating this type of life for anyone else (make your own decisions please). That said, my disclaimer is over. Hang on it's a wild ride....

6:30 AM: The Chunk starts fussing in his crib in our room. We don't want to be up yet, so we let him fuss a little while longer.

7:00 AM: Tim starts getting ready for the day while I feed the baby and change a diaper. I put the baby on the middle of the bed and lay down again to nap until my turn for the shower.

7:30 AM: I get my clean-up time while Tim takes The Chunk with him to get breakfast. Tim checks news online while he eats breakfast, and The Chunk hangs out in a high chair next to the computer and plays. I join them at some point and then wake up the other kids. The Happy Boy wants a Mommy cuddle and then breakfast soon after.

8:00 AM: Tim is off to work. The Chunk is moved over next to the table and I start making breakfast for myself and the kids. The Happy Boy asks for green eggs this morning and I'm in a good mood and oblige. He and I have green eggs and toast.

8:30 AM: The Chunk starts to fuss since he is seeing us eat. I take a break from breakfast to feed the baby his "second breakfast," rice cereal and mushy bananas. In the meantime the girls wander in. After the baby is finished, I fix the girls breakfast. They are in the mood for toaster waffles this morning with their preferred toppings. Then I get to finish my breakfast. The Happy Boy finishes breakfast first and asks to play a computer game.

9:00 AM: The Happy Boy is on the computer while the girls get dressed. I put dishes in the dishwasher and run it (I forgot to the night before). I bring in two basketfuls of clean laundry that didn't get folded from the day before and dump them on my bed, deliver previously folded clean laundry to various bedrooms, and pay a bill. The girls have gotten dressed and come out to play on the computer, too. The Chunk has been playing on his playmat all this time and is starting to get fussy. After a diaper change and swaddling, he goes down for a nap.

9:30 AM: I help the Happy Boy get dressed. He then gets out some paper and a pencil and starts drawing and writing. He asks me how to spell various words. I check emails and facebook. I do a status comment on facebook. Then I send an email to my doctor with an appointment question. Since my allergies are causing me trouble this week, I do a sinus rinse. The Happy Boy comes over to watch (cheap thrills).

10:00 AM: I start lessons with the Pillowfight Fairy doing a Bible reading and a review of the latest latin lesson. The Adrenaline Junkie decides to make a home-made coloring book in her bedroom and the Happy Boy finishes off one more game on the computer. While the Fairy finishes her Latin lesson on her own, I do a Bible reading with the Adrenaline Junkie. Next, the Happy Boy asks for a snack, cheetos. I fix myself a mug of hot tea and put some chicken in the crock pot for tonight's dinner. I hear a cry over the baby monitor so check on the baby. It was only a phantom baby cry, he's still asleep.

10:30 AM: Back to lessons, I do a narration practice and writing practice with the Pillowfight Fairy. We read a chapter from the Last of the Mohicans (an elementary school level adaptation), while the Happy Boy is building a train track. The Adrenaline Junkie comes asking for help. She accidentally put some of her pages to her home-made coloring book in upside down and wants help to fix it.

11:00 AM: Back to lessons. This time I work with the Adrenaline Junkie while The Pillowfight Fairy plays in her room. We do some reading practice from a book of her choice. Today she chose "Madeline Says Merci." While we read, the Happy Boy climbs into Mommy's lap to listen to the story. Then I have her copy a sentence that I choose from the book. The Happy Boy goes back to his trains. The Adrenaline Junkie next has a spelling lesson and a math page. I hear the baby wake up during the math lesson. I get him up and change his diaper while the Junkie finishes the page on her own.

11:30 AM: The Junkie rushes off to her room to play with her sister. The Happy Boy joins them and all three older kids have play time while I feed The Chunk his next meal "elevensies" which is just a snack of oat cereal. After he's done, he plays in his highchair while I make lunches for everyone else.

12:00 PM: The Pillowfight Fairy gets PB & J, string cheese and a pineapple fruit cup. the Adrenaline Junkie and Happy Boy have other tastes. They each get a hot dog, slice of bread, slice of cheddar, and raisins. The boy likes milk, the girls take water. I reheat some leftovers for my lunch, add an orange and finish off my now cold tea. The Chunk starts to think it isn't fair that we are stuffing our faces in front of him and starts to complain. After I eat, I get desert for the Happy Boy (ice cream and caramel sauce) then feed the Chunk his next bottle. It turns out that the baby wasn't as hungry as he was making himself out to be. I chalk it up to teething. The Adrenaline Junkie skips dessert. The Pillowfight Fairy eats all but half of her sandwich. I save it for later, guessing that she will get hungry before dinner time. Then I clear the table, wipe it down, and hand wash some bottles and other non-dishwasher items. The Pillowfight Fairy reads from a comic book of Calvin and Hobbes while the Adrenaline Junkie and Happy Boy listen.

12:30 PM: After a while the younger two run off to play in the girls' room. The baby still is making not quite content noises so I pick him up and hold him while I check emails and facebook. My doctor responded to my message so I follow up on that. I surf the web while I bounce a baby on my knee.

1:00 PM: Our break is over. I put the baby down on his play mat while I get kids to clean up the bedroom. The Pillowfight Fairy has the job of sweeping under the dining room table. The Adrenaline Junkie and the Happy Boy take turns dusting various rooms of the house. I keep getting the kids focused on their chores until I hear a mad baby yelling from the other room. He has had enough of his mat and just wants to yell. I get him down for another nap.

1:30 PM: Chores are over and we go back to lessons. I start with a science reading with the Pillowfight Fairy. Afterwards I ask her to draw a diagram of something we read about. She asks to do a 3-D craft to illustrate and I agree. While she does that, I read to the other two. Three stories later the Pillowfight Fairy is done and wants a story. I read to her and the Happy Boy while the Adrenaline Junkie starts her piano practice.

2:00 PM: Then the Fairy reads to herself and the Happy Boy while I check the food in the crockpot and shift the loads of laundry. Then I call up Tim to check in with him. I tell him how the day is going and he reminds me to call someone about a babysitting job we need done. After the Adrenaline Junkie finishes piano practice, she celebrates because she's done with schoolwork for the day. The Pillowfight Fairy does her piano practice next while the others play with legos. I call our potential babysitter and leave a message. Then I make a new batch of formula, unload the dishwasher and reload it with the lunch dishes. I bring in the mail and sort it.

2:30 PM: I hear the baby crying over the baby monitor. I go get him up, change a diaper, and give him his "tea time" bottle. I note that the lego play has transformed into quite a production. They are re-enacting the scene where Moses breaks the tablets of the ten commandments because of the Israelites' worship of the golden calf. The Chunk gets some cuddle time with Mommy while we wait for piano practice to end.

3:00 PM: After piano, all three older kids want a snack. The Pillowfight Fairy gets the remainder of her sandwich from lunch and some potato chips. The Adrenaline Junkie wants a handful of cheerios (new in the house again since we are starting to feed solids to the baby). Happy Boy gets a graham cracker and potato chips. I then record what school work was completed thus far while the baby plays on a blanket nearby. I play and sing with the baby and the Fairy comes and joins me. The other two have to pick up the legos they left out.

3:30 PM: Next the Pillowfight Fairy cleans the table to get ready for more school work. The Adrenaline Junkie gets out a flannelgraph to play with. The Happy Boy watches the flannelgraph play for a while and then asks for another computer game. I am carrying around the baby with me at this point. I sort the clothing piles on the bed according to whose they are. I get the Fairy started with her math page. I stay close by to help her stay focused on her work.

4:00 PM: The Chunk is fussy and tired still. His last nap was too short. I put him down for a nap again and deliver the sorted clothes to the proper rooms. I come back to the Fairy and help her remember some parts that are still new for her and we work through them together. The computer game is too distracting, so that gets turned off and the Junkie and Happy Boy clean up the room and then stage a mock battle.

4:30 PM: With the math page done, the Pillowfight Fairy joyfully goes off to play in her room. Her school day is done. The Adrenaline Junkie is allowed to pick a video to watch (the kids have to take turns and this was her turn to pick a video and to say prayers for us before meals).

5:00 PM: While the kids are enjoying themselves, I check the math page and make sure a needed correction gets made. Then I break up the chicken in the crockpot and add BBQ sauce. I make sure the bread rolls for BBQ sandwiches are thawed and cut up some carrot sticks as a side dish. The Pillowfight Fairy wanders out from time to time to watch parts of the video. Then she goes back to her own entertainments in the bedroom. I have a spare moment again so decide to do another sinus rinse, without an audience this time. I finish just in time. I start to hear happy baby sounds over the baby monitor.

5:30 PM: I get The Chunk up from his nap. I give him an afternoon snack of barley cereal. He then gets play time in his chair while I sit nearby getting the next days lesson books in order and finish recording the days schoolwork. The school day is done, and dinner will be ready when Tim gets home.

The evening activities vary quite a bit from day to day. There is usually some clean up in the kitchen. Kids have to clean up toys before bed. Our main accomplishments tonight were having Tim check my calculations on our State Tax Return that I had done on a previous evening and my composing this blog post. The kids played some more. Tim spent some time in the backyard checking on some pepper plants and just enjoying the outdoors.

It was a busy day. I didn't get much time to rest in between one task and another. I do get lots of variety of activities. On some days I make a point of going for a walk with the kids or spend time in the backyard. I actually avoided that today because the allergens are overloading my system lately. When I go to sleep tonight, my rest will be well earned.

Mea culpa

2011-04-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

It is my fault.

I was wrong.

I spoke carelessly and hurt people I care about.

I hurt them to the point that they won't let me say I'm sorry.

My intentions however harmless, had results that I never imagined. Now they see me as someone I do not believe I am. But my actions toward them tell them that I am that kind of person.

In tears and sorrow, I am heartily ashamed of myself.

I wish to make it right, but I know I can't.

I wish I could explain myself better... to help them see what I really meant. I am afraid any attempt to do so would result in my digging a bigger hole than I already have.

I was rude and insensitive.

I am too blunt and tactless.

I forgot that computer messages are notoriously bad medium for touchy subjects.

This is the best I can figure out to do. I publicly apologize. I provide the following links so that people can see for themselves how I have behaved badly. This is my public confession. I will do my utmost, with God's help, to change my ways.

The original post to which I made a comment. ( Update: After publishing I realized that since all commenting has been removed, you are no longer able to see my horribly insensitive comment. This is also why I cannot apologize where the damage was done.)

The results and response to my actions.

I am sure that many others of you will be as horrified as I am that such a wonderful blogger is closing his blog because of my actions. I am truly, truly sorry. Those words cannot convey the depths of my sorrow, but they are the only ones I have.

Observations from a week of sunshine

2011-04-01T20:14:00.000-07:00

The following are some thoughts that were triggered in the last week. They run the gamut of topics so I won't try to group them. It has just been one of those weeks when all sorts of thoughts are stirred up.

We had our first full week of sunshine in a long long time. It was wonderful. I had started to forget what it was like. Once again we were able to go for walks (the neighbors tell me they think of them more as parades). We managed to get three walks in this week. I would have done two more except for appointments that disarranged the other two days. We did get some time for play in the backyard too... once the ground dried out for a few days. The kids and I always feel more energized and happy when we get some outside time.

through the years I have been thinking more and more that we need time outside among growing things. We need to become familiar with the land and sky. We need to acquaint ourselves with plants and wild life. We need to learn the ways of weather. It is when we learn more about these things that we become more acquainted to the God who made them. When we learn more about God and his creation, we start to understand the ways of God and how the world really works. When we isolate ourselves from nature in man made buildings, grouped into man made cities, doing man made jobs, for man made reasons, we start to lose our grasp on the character of God. We lose our grasp on reality and lose perspective on what is really important. Now I will agree that these man made things are useful and in many ways necessary for our survival. But they are not all there is and they can lead us to destruction if we don't open our eyes to that which was not made by man.

One day this week I took the kids for a playdate with friends while I had a dentist appointment. It was scheduled for our most productive time of day so I just let the kids have the day off from school. They loved that too. In some ways I got some time off too, but I noticed that most of the day was chaotic and the place turned into a big mess. I keep rediscovering that whenever we have a schedule or even a general plan for the day, everything goes much more smoothly and needed things get accomplished. But, every time that I let schedules or plans go out the window, nothing much gets accomplished at all. I even think the kids don't get to have as much fun in some ways. They get caught up in minor issues instead of the things that are more important to them. They end up never getting around to the stuff they said that they wanted to do. This theme keeps recurring enough that I'm tempted to go to a more year-round schedule than what we currently have. The main reason I haven't is because I have a tendency to over-schedule myself. I need the extra time to deal with days lost along the way for appointments, sickness, or other unplanned events. I need the time to consider what worked and what needs to come next. I need a break to get ready for doing it all again, even if the kids tend to get a bit chaotic. I guess I'll just have to give the kids a basic non-school day schedule to give them their needed structure.

Today, we had the Pillowfight Fairy's main evaluation to determine if she has Asperger's Syndrome. The preliminary answer to that is "no." But the evaluation was useful, because it did determine where she is having communication and social issues that can be improved upon. We will probably be investigating how to best integrate some extra training into her school schedule next year. And for those who are always questioning homeschooling's ability to properly socialize individuals, our daughter's issues are not the result of homeschooling. We know this because her siblings do not have these issues even though they are growing up in a homeschooling environment just like their sister. Rather these issues are individual to her and would be there whether she were homeschooled or attended a traditional school. In fact, it is her differences early on that convinced us that public school or even an institutional private school would be inappropriate for her. And it is her differences now, that made us wonder if there was something more specific that needed to be addressed. I like that we have the flexibility to find our way and follow the path that our daughter needs to go along. I like that we as her parents can weigh our options and determine what seems best for her, rather than trying to fit her into someone else's idea of how she should be educated.

I find it interesting that although we started homeschooling to fit the needs of our eldest daughter, we discovered that it fit the needs of the whole family, too. The only drawback I see to our homeschooling is the great effort that is needed to get it done. I don't say this to mean that I regret it. Homeschooling is one of the most challenging and yet rewarding things that I have ever done. I just keep coming back to the feeling that other people would also benefit from homeschooling, but they are afraid of the challenge and the work. Yes it is a lot of work. It requires discipline. It requires sacrifices in time, money, and numberless daily choices. But like the farmer working his land or the musician practicing his instrument or the businessman trying to succeed in his career, good results only come if you put in the work that is needed. I think if you asked any teacher they would probably tell you they wished their students, students' parents and everyone in the education process put in a 100% effort into the lives of their students. It would make a marvelous difference. We are nearing the end of another year of school and I am feeling drained and overworked. But I also can see the progress made and the good work done. It came little by little and day by day, but all of the work was worth it.

I broke down and joined facebook this week. Now that I'm in the inside, I can see how useful it is to help people manage their contacts. After only three days, I'm already starting to see how different people use it in different ways. I can also see how people can abuse it and how some people can have it become an addiction in their lives. I'm finding some of my library training is coming into use. After all, facebook manages information. People have to be wise about how they present their own information and wise about how they use other people's information. There are a lot of people out there who are not wise. By the way, if you want to be my friend on facebook, you will need to be my friend off the computer first.

A Few Pictures for Your Entertainment

2011-03-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

I've been swamped lately. Therefore, I haven't made time to ponder weighty matters and write my profound conclusions. Tim has been away most evenings for play practice, so I've been feeling a bit overworked. Thankfully, the play performances are coming soon and then I've have him back again. In the meantime, I've selected some recent pictures for you entertainment.

I've mentioned that we have a Wii which I use for exercise, and the kids mostly use it for play. Though, they would sometimes join me in my exercise routines for an impromptu P.E. class as it were. Here are the group of us doing Yoga poses.

The warrior pose:

The chair pose:

And halfway into the palm tree pose:

We also can give you more up to date pictures of the kids....

The Pillowfight Fairy in a serious moment (while planning her next move in Wii bowling):

The Adrenaline Junkie happy that I interrupted her math page for a photo shoot:

The Happy Boy giving a very fake smile:

And a couple of pictures of the Little Chunk doing what he does best, wiggling and smiling:

Our days have been full of school, housework, play, baking, and rain. We are trying to keep from getting too much farther behind in our school year, by only taking a day off here and there as needed. I prefer to take a whole week off at a time, but we have already had so much time off when the Little Chunk was born.

I've had to keep up the housework since we have been having people over once a week and I need to keep the house mostly presentable all the time so that day's clean up isn't too time consuming. I also have to do laundry twice a week to keep the Little Chunk in clothes.

The kids do get a good bit of play, but they have been feeling rather cooped up with all of the rain lately. I have also been baking a lot... cookies, brownies, cake, etc. It is partly because we provide snacks for our guests once a week. But, It is also because I like to do it.

As for rain... we've had a lot. Just within the last week we have had five inches of rain. When I walked across our backyard today I could hear the squishy wet sound like you would expect in marshland. We haven't started our spring garden yet. It hasn't been dry enough to roto-till yet. But the trees and blueberry bushes have been blooming and the bees have been coming out to pollinate them even in the cool cloudy weather in between rains. So, perhaps we will get some fruit before too long.

We are supposed to get a little sun this next week. So perhaps the kids and I can get outside and run around some. I might be able to do a little yard clean-up too. We still have leaves that need raking from our flower beds and tree branches that need trimming. Now if I can only finish up the taxes. Somehow I don't feel very rested lately.

School Progress

2011-02-28T21:19:00.000-08:00

I suppose I'm overdue for a progress report about how the schoolwork is going. The girls got a little out of sync with their school work during the month or so we were doing half days. The Adrenaline Junkie, being on a half day schedule anyway, continued at the regular pace. The Pillowfight Fairy, being on full days, is now three weeks behind her sister. We would have been finishing up at the end of April if this were a typical year. Since it is not, we will probably be finishing up near the end of May. Although the Junkie will finish first, I plan to continue her studies with a variety of items to keep her busy and learning as well. The plus side to all of this is that they will have less time to forget what they learned before the next school year begins in July.

So, What is the Pillowfight Fairy doing? In her Bible reading, she is starting II Kings. In her spelling, she is being challenged with 4th grade level work, although I consider her 3rd grade by age. She has daily piano practice, and although she complains, she is doing well and making progress. I'm pleased with her progress in grammar, and she is quite good at sentence diagramming. She likes her Latin lessons enough that she has been spontaneously making sentences with what she knows and trying to teach it to the Junkie and the Happy Boy. She is getting the hang of narration and questions for reading comprehension which I have been concerned about in the past. She still has trouble when we read something she has no interest in. She has also developed a dislike for most of the literature I have chosen for her to read. Right now we are reading the Hunchback of Notre Dame (an adaptation for elementary school level) and she doesn't like it much, but she is starting to identify with Esmerelda. I think she is going to be furious when she finds out the ending. It will confirm her suspicion of all things French. We are also studying about the French revolution in history. She was really worked up about how French society, pre-revolution, was soooo unfair. Tomorrow I get to teach her about the reign of terror and how French society, post-revolution, was soooo unfair too. We are doing chemistry in science. Today we did an experiment that created visible layers of liquids of different densities. It was pretty cool. In math she is starting to learn about remainders when dividing and is getting the beginning steps toward long division. She is doing well. She is learning. Every little bit seems to build on what there was before. I feel like I'm starting to see progress in understanding, that previously, I was only trusting would eventually come.

What is the Adrenaline Junkie doing? She is practicing her reading everyday and getting better steadily. Currently we are using the "Phonics Bible" for this since she likes the stories and it gives good reinforcement of phonics rules. She is also practicing reading with the McGuffey Primer. But with the primer, I am having her do copywork exercises to practice writing. She has daily spelling lessons that help her learn simple words and reinforces the reading. Once a week I have her write out ten dictionary words from her spelling book as writing practice, vocabulary building, and composition practice by making up a sentence using one of the words from her lesson. She has daily math lessons and can add and subtract, understands a little about clocks and coins. She has made good progress with getting her two digit numbers correct and rarely miswrites them anymore. She also has piano practice. She has made good progress, too. She struggles more than her sister, but her sister struggled early on as well.

The Happy Boy mostly just want to play. He will play by himself or with whichever sister is taking a break at the time. He loves to be read to. I try to make sure that he gets some book time with Mommy during the day. He is making progress with his potty training which is a little more important to us at the moment. So far my three oldest kids have all potty trained after age four and it gets old after a while.

Little Chunk is usually a content baby. He has fussy times when he gets overtired or goes through a teething bout, but still is amazingly easy-going most of the time. This is very helpful for our school days. I have to work feeding and diaper changes around everything else we do, so it's nice that he isn't too demanding. He is a hungry child most of the time though. It is not unusual for this child to drink a quart of milk a day. He is supposed to have his four-month check-up tomorrow. I hope all of us are well enough for a well-baby visit to the clinic. However, it was not looking promising this evening. I'll have to figure that out in the morning. I would kind of like to know just how much this huge child has grown. At four months old, his 6-9 month clothes are tight. Either he needs to slow down his growing, the weather needs to warm up or I need to go shopping, because I don't have many long-sleeve/long pant clothes for the 9-12 month size. (Boys can wear pink can't they?) I'm also concerned that he will grow too big, weight-wise, for his car seat carrier. We have another car seat for when he does grow out of it, but I don't have another stroller that can handle a baby that can't sit up yet. This is an example of when my plans don't always match up with what reality throws at me.

Our cat, Misha, has improved some since I last posted. She will come out and visit with us in the evening, but she still doesn't move much beyond that.

Dreary Days

2011-02-25T12:53:00.000-08:00

Life has been feeling dreary lately. The rain keeps coming and coming. Our backyard is looking a bit like a swamp at the moment. I had to put a plastic tent around our tiny lemon tree today, since our area is expecting a hard freeze either tonight and/or the next night. We harvested all of our oranges yesterday and began giving them away. It's a pity I don't like marmalade. This would be a perfect opportunity to try to make some.

For the last several weeks we have all been drifting in and out of cold symptoms making it hard to tell when we are well and when we are truly sick.

School work has been getting done steadily, though I think we all could use a break. I hate to take one, though since we took extra time off when the baby came. So, three of the four kids were extra drippy with their noses today, I decided we were taking the day off.

For the last week we have had a sick cat too. Quite suddenly, Misha, couldn't walk last Friday. Tim took her to the vet Saturday. After giving her some fluids, she was able to use her legs again. But, when they tested for particular problems that they expected to be the cause, the tests came back negative. So we have a sick kitty, and the vet doesn't know why she's sick. We suspect it is old age having its effect on her. She will be 17 years old in April. We are doing our best to help her as we can. But all she wants to do is lie in her favorite place. Unless it is a simple quick passing illness, we think her health is going downhill fast.

I'm looking forward to spring. My spirits pick up a bit with the sunshine and flowers.

Neuro-atypical?

2011-02-11T21:44:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned briefly in a previous post, we are going to have the Pillowfight Fairy evaluated to see if she may have Asperger Syndrome. The more we read about it, the more it sounds like our daughter. My mother-in-law loaned us a book titled "The OASIS Guide to Asperger Syndrome." I would highly recommend it for anyone wanting to understand this fairly common disorder.

In leading up to our daughter's evaluation, I got to go to a parent-only screening class. This involved letting one psychologist go over all of the basic information once with a group of parents instead of having every psychologist say the same thing over and over to every parent they see. Then I got to talk to a psychologist about our particular concerns one-on-one. The gist of the conversation resulted in the psychologist agreeing that we may have an Asperger's kid, so an evaluation would be appropriate. We have an appointment scheduled for next month.

Between reading the above-mentioned book and listening to the two psychologists at the clinic, I have had several ideas floating through my mind that I thought might be worth sharing.

The book keeps using the term "neurotypical" in place of the term "normal" to refer to the majority of the population. I love that term. I have had a love-hate relationship with the word "normal." That is probably because I have never quite felt "normal" as it was always depicted to me. But I can understand something being typical without putting a value judgment on it. In reading the book, it helped me see some of the areas where I may not be typical myself. As it describes Asperger's as opposed to typical thought and behavior, I kept seeing how I don't always have typical thought or behavior myself (though not along the Asperger's direction). It makes me wonder how much of what is considered a "disorder" is simply natural variation among people. It also makes me wonder how our society does not adjust well to having people who are different among them, despite all the pride in tolerance.
While the introduction was being given by one psychologist, she spent time explaining what kinds of psychological help is given at their clinic and what stresses kids deal with. She also described how their schedule of appointments flows with the school year. What she did not mention directly was that school is a major stress point in kids lives. She did mention that the appointments drop off when school is not in session. I take that as either the schools or parents are not feeling the need for psychological assistance when school is out.
One thing that I thought was helpful to me is that just because something is normal or typical, doesn't make it good. Her example was that typical behavior for 2 and 3-year-olds is to have tantrums. That behavior is typical, but it is not OK and the child needs help to change that behavior to something better. This resonated with me after reading the above-mentioned book, since some examples of Asperger kids having trouble with others involve things like socially accepted white lies. These would be things like one person asking another if they liked their new hair color (which looked bad) and the friend, lying to reassure her, tells her that she looks great. The person asking the question neither wants nor expects the truth and the person responding understands this and provides the desired lie. In the case of Asperger kids they are trained to recognize such things and respond in a more socially acceptable way than the tactless truth. Personally, I find this sad. I consider the normal behavior depicted here as undesirable mind games that encourage an acceptance of deception both against others and toward one's self. However, to function in our society, we train those who have a natural disinclination for such behavior to imitate it to blend in. Yeah, I have a lot of gripes against the normal or typical way of doing things.
One thing mentioned that I found quite disturbing was that among the stresses that are currently typical for your average 4 and 5 year olds, besides the fact that they are starting school, is that they are frequently going through a divorce in their family. I have my own opinions about how we put kids through school in our society, but this statement about the commonplace situation of kids enduring the divorce of their parents as they start kindergarten just wrenched my gut.
When I was speaking one-on-one to another psychologist, he mentioned that we may have to change our decision about homeschooling or at least accept services through the public school district if that is deemed necessary for our daughter. He stated "that's how we do it (at that clinic) because it's free". Now, I agree that one should always be open to making adjustments as needed to meet the circumstances in which one finds oneself. However, I have found homeschooling to be so beneficial to our kids and to our family that it would take a lot to just switch to public school without weighing other options first. It could be that the services could be provided without full enrollment. It could be that there are other options that would suit our family better. I'd like to find out the full range of options before making a decision about that. Besides, we haven't even had the evaluation yet. Isn't that jumping the gun a bit? Maybe I've read about too many conflicts between public schools and homeschoolers or maybe it's my individualist streak coming out, but the saying that keeps popping up in my mind is "there's no such thing as a free lunch." Too often things that are labeled free have strings attached, hoops to jump through, or a hidden cost.

So, after the evaluation, we will have a better idea of what is going on with our daughter and what kinds of help she might need to get along with people better. In the meantime, I've been enjoying her company and being reminded how much she is like a normal kid too. We have told her a little bit of what this is about. She is looking forward to the evaluation. I think she likes the idea of having a new person to talk to.

Busy-ness as usual

2011-01-16T18:27:00.000-08:00

Well, we are back into the swing of things again. We are doing full-day school again (with much complaining). The Pillowfight Fairy has finally made it to her half-way point in her school year. Things are going well. We are also contacting health professionals about having her evaluated for Aspergers Syndrome. If nothing else it might result in helping her in developing some tools to help smooth her road of life a little.

As if we weren't busy enough, we have started hosting a mid-week church group in our home. It seemed easier to host a group than to pack up the family to travel to someone else's house. It also motivates me to keep the house moderately clean on a regular basis.

Added to that, Tim has just auditioned and been cast in a role for a local community play that will keep him busy until the middle of April.

Then Tim is also planning a series of classes that he plans to teach at church in the spring quarter.

We have been diligent in our Wii exercise. I have been feeling a difference already. Though it will still take me a while to take off those extra "baby" pounds.

And the Little Chunk is getting bigger every day. I am convinced that he is gearing up for yet another growth spurt. I think he may well be moving into his 6-9 month outfits in the next week or two. He isn't sleeping through the night yet, but he has been giving us 6 hours straight from time to time.

How are we able to do all of this on so little sleep? I have no idea. Maybe it's because our older kids can do more on their own now. Maybe it's because we have cut out so many extras and luxuries from our lives that we have a modicum of time. Maybe it's because you don't waste time when you're too busy living your life to think about it. Somehow it is working... for now.

The After Christmas Season

2010-12-30T15:20:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas is over and I'm still recovering from it. My annual battle with the Christmas present aftermath is underway as I'm trying to find places for the kids' new things while trying to convince them that they really can do without a few of the things that they got four years ago. We have taken the week off from school work mainly because we would have all out rebellion if they didn't get some extra time to enjoy their new stuff. It also gives the benefit that I have time to sort and wash and clean and organize.

The holiday itself went pretty well for us. We still managed to have conflicts with the same individuals we usually have conflicts with. I am trying to come to terms with the idea that this will probably never change. What was different this year was that it was one of our kids causing the problem instead of my husband or me. The next generation seems to be following in the steps of ours. This fact and a chance conversation has Tim and I wondering if there is something more going on than just normal blunders. As a result we looked up information on Aspergers syndrome. I must say that the description sounds awfully familiar to us. It begs the question of how far off normal do you need to be to fit into a category like this. We have begun to wonder if we need to have our child evaluated for this syndrome and whether it would make any difference. After all the treatment for this syndrome is exactly what we are already doing, training our children how to interact appropriately with others. It is something to consider.

In other news I have had my first thorough eye exam. As a result, I get to pick up my first pair of corrective glasses in about a week. I get to wear them for driving and for distance use. We'll see how often our baby grabs them off me during church when I'm trying to read what is on the projection screen .

It is also about time to come up with a nickname for our littlest one. Tim is voting for "Little Chunk." He is a big kid. He'll have his two month checkup next week so we can see how he is progressing. But from our perspective, he may always be the biggest of our kids (for his age). He has an appetite that doesn't seem to want to quit. I wouldn't say that he's roly-poly, but he is simply big. I haven't come up with a better nickname for him, so we might as well go with that one for now.

This morning I noticed Little Chunk was not just sucking on his fist, he was trying to chew on it. Hmmm.... I tried an experiment. I gave him his pacifier and he spat it out. I held a small nubbly rubber teether up to his mouth and he chewed with a vengeance. Could it be that our baby is teething already. We've had a history of early teethers. Our oldest had her first tooth at three months. Our others were a little later, but not much. Let me tell you, it is not always fun having a teething baby before they have the ability to hold their own teethers. Thank you Rick and Wendy. The teether you got him is right on time.

Also, thanks to Great Auntie Jean, for the toy that is replacing "Spore" in our kids lives. We are now the proud owners of a Wii. The kids are constantly begging for it. Tim and I opted for a Wii Fit add on and have begun a new exercise regime. It will be helpful during our cold/wet season. It is pretty fun. But it was a nice day today so we all went for a walk outside for our exercise.

That is all I can think of for now. I have plenty of other posts I could do, but they will have to wait.

Christmas is coming...

2010-12-01T22:41:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again. Christmas. I've seen it coming for a couple of months thanks to advertisers. For many years, Christmas has become less and less of a favorite holiday of mine. Crisis after crisis during the holidays ruined the holidays for me several years back and the overdone consumerism of our society beat into the ground what little glimmer of joy I still retained about this time of year. Usually I just try to smile and go through the motions to try to make the people around me feel more comfortable.

This year I surprised myself by actually being in the mood to sing a few Christmas songs just for the fun of it. Maybe it has been a long enough time since I was last roped in to perform at a Christmas musical that I actually cared about the music again.

I've been in the mood to bake treats (not much time for it mind you). That has always been a favorite part of the holidays for me. Food employs our senses and brings back memories of former times. Each family has some special food they like to celebrate with and many are saved to be used only on special days. I don't have many specially reserved foods like this, but just the fun of having special treats brings happy memories back to me.

The presents have been a bit of a love/hate thing for me. I like getting presents just as much as the next person. I like giving a present to someone else with their happy surprise being the only reward. I hate gifts prompted by obligation, yet I realize that their are good reasons for such gift giving.

My family is highly non-conformist when it comes to Santa. "We don't do Santa." Those simple words have stopped some conversations in their tracks. I don't try to ban Santa from our home. I don't try to hide the story of Santa from my children. I just treat Santa as a story, just like the other stories we read in books. I would prefer that my children learn the story of the birth of Jesus as "the" Christmas story. I would prefer that my children learn the story of Saint Nicholas (the real person) as an example of a faithful christian who put his faith into practice by being generous to those in need. The modern day Santa is a fairytale that can be used to teach generosity, but is just as likely to teach lessons you don't want your kids to learn as anything else.

Tim and I don't really have many Christmas traditions. We usually buy each other gifts without keeping them secret, because we can't stand to keep such happy things a secret from each other. We spend Christmas with one side of the family and Thanksgiving with the other (switching back and forth to give equal time). We like food and family to be part of the holidays with lots of visiting time. We frame little pictures of the kids to put on our Christmas tree every year to accompany our ornaments. We open presents Christmas Eve, or Christmas day, or a week later if that is when the gathering happens.

This year the Power family Christmas has been moved from it's traditional location to be shared by us and Rick and Wendy. The family was good enough to not insist we travel with wee little ones. As a result our two households are hosting. Now neither one of us has to handle the whole of Christmas, but it dawned on me that my preferred traditions may not always mesh with the preferred traditions of others. So with that in mind... I hope my family will be flexible this year. I'm not providing a fairytale Christmas, but hopefully it can be a fun one even so. For those of you non-family readers, I would like to remind you that Christmas is not always a happy time of year for everyone. Please handle people with care.

The World Has Changed Once Again

2010-11-24T20:39:00.000-08:00

Two days before Halloween, the world changed again. I had my second son. He was a big fellow, too, at 9 pounds, 10 ounces. It was a relief to finally have him in my arms and not in my abdomen.

I had been convinced that I was ready to have that baby "any day" for at least two weeks before he came. From what we learned during delivery, he was probably delayed by an oversupply of amniotic fluid. Basically, he kept floating in the fluid instead of dropping down and being pushed down the birth canal. Although he felt late to me, he was actually born the day after the due date.

My last couple of posts were in October. Now it's the night before Thanksgiving. My side of the family were altruistic this year and told us to stay home instead of trying to fulfill the family tradition. That has turned out well, since we are all at different stages of a cold right now. The silence from the last posts don't convey the activity we have been trying to cram into our lives.

We have replaced our broken flowered sofa with a new queen size futon. We had a rat die in the vent tube of our above stove hood, resulting in a very unpleasant dismantling operation and eventually a new hood (the old one was due for replacing anyway). We have our pest control service alerted to the rodent issue and are in the process of trying to make sure that unfortunate event does not get repeated. We had a bedroom doorknob fail (with no way to dismantle it from outside the room) so we had to break down a door, and then fix the resulting door frame. We had our pomegranate harvest to seed (waiting in the freezer for a convenient time to make jelly). We made a emperor penguin costume for our oldest child for Halloween (the other kids got hand-me down costumes). We started up schoolwork again on a half day schedule out of self defense. It turns out that our kids behave better when they aren't left to their own devices all day. I started out breastfeeding the baby and by the end of the first week I was almost exclusively using a breast pump. By the end of the second week I was doing half breast milk and half formula. By the end of the third week, he was completely on formula.

It has been nearly four years since we last had a new baby to take care of. Some of the time, we are easy-going and calm veterans. Some of the time, we are playing the "Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that" game. Our other kids love him and want to play with his toys. They like to pet his head and occasionally hold him. Thankfully, he can sleep through the pandemonium of a typical day. And like most babies, he has problems sleeping enough of the night to let his parents feel rested. Tim and I have arranged a schedule so that we take turns doing various feedings so that each of us get the bare minimum sleep that we need. That fact and the fact that our baby seems fairly good-natured is probably the only reason we are still somewhat sane and able to function.

I find myself being very philosophical about some of the difficult parts of being the parent of a new baby. Yes, it's exhausting and difficult. However, it is also temporary. In another month or two we'll all be sleeping better. In another month or two, he'll be more fun to play with. In a few months more he'll be trying solid food. We'll only be doing formula for a year. His wardrobe will only last a few months at a time at first. Someday, Tim and I will have our bedroom to ourselves again. Someday, I'll be able to give away my maternity clothes. Someday, I won't need to keep baby clothes. Our family finally feels finished to me. I also can't picture myself going through another pregnancy. It really does get more difficult as you age. On the other hand, these precious moments with a tiny baby go so fast when you are an older parent. I sometimes wish I had the leisure to enjoy each moment more with each of our kids. The reality is that with four kids, you take what time you can with each one as the moment is upon you. There is not any time for the ideal, so you spend the time you have.

I do picture a difficult few months ahead, especially with the schooling. But thankfully we can be flexible. It will take us a while to learn the next new set of parenting skills we need for new family dynamic. Our lives are still in constant change.

Quick pregnancy update

2010-10-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

I had an appointment today. I have another two weeks until the due date. I have made minimal progress since my last visit. I am losing energy quickly. I'm getting annoying clusters of contractions that average 15 minutes apart. I feel like this baby could come anytime... but it doesn't. Sigh......

I have another appointment next Friday.

Sigh.......

One third done!

2010-10-08T16:21:00.000-07:00

I always enjoy getting to one of my goal points in the school year. It reminds me that we are actually getting somewhere. This past week we finished week 12 out of 36 scheduled for our school year. That means we are a third of the way done. I am pleased with the progress, but the schedule has been hard to maintain lately. I'm expecting a baby by the end of the month and am slowing down considerably.

Since we will be taking time off from school after the baby comes, I don't want to take our usual break just yet. But, I can't keep up the schedule as is, so we are starting to do half days until the baby comes.

So what progress has been made?

The Pillowfight Fairy is covering the following subjects: Bible reading, spelling, Latin, piano, grammar, writing, literature, history (1600-1850), chemistry, mathematics, sewing, drawing, and crafts. Her favorite subjects seem to be Latin, grammar, and chemistry. Latin is liked because it is a different language and she enjoys other cultures. Grammar is a favorite because she enjoys diagramming sentences. With chemistry, she loves science and doing experiments. She least likes reading in any subject, spelling, piano, and mathematics. This is mainly because although she reads very well, she doesn't like assigned reading, and doesn't like repetitive practices. However, she still must do these things to improve and make progress. I have seen improvement in her writing abilities. Mainly that she is writing smoother and quicker. She is progressing steadily in all of her subjects, though from my perspective , her best subject is mathematics. It is a pity she hates it so. She picks up the concepts very quickly, she just hates practicing it over and over. For literature we have completed elementary school level adaptations of The Stories of King Arthur, Robin Hood, and The Three Musketeers. We are currently reading Gulliver's Travels. I've come to the conclusion that although she has liked parts of all of these books, she gets bored with chapter books that take this long to read. Her least favorite was the Three Musketeers. I think that this was because it has had the most complicated story-line so far. There were so many plot twists and little details that show up at one point then are important later on. She didn't like trying to make sense of it all and simply decided that she doesn't like the French. She also has a weakness in her reading, in that she tends to read what she expects the words to say rather than what they actually say. It can be quite difficult at times to make her slow down and read every word exactly as written. She wants to read quickly, but then simply fills in what she thinks it ought to say. This gets in the way of reading comprehension for obvious reasons. So, I make sure that I am there with her with readings still, instead of letting her read on her own. I probably need to find a way that works for her to improve her comprehension abilities. We have already tried a few methods to prompt her retention of the material, but so far they haven't worked well. I think this is because of her incorrect reading to begin with, rather than in recall or memory which she has demonstrated to be rather good in general. She has made good progress with her sewing project (a patchwork pillow) of which I will include a picture when she has completed it.

The Adrenaline Junkie has been doing much better with her schoolwork this year. She is doing phonics reading practice, spelling, mathematics, Bible story book reading, and piano. Her favorite subjects are reading and spelling. She hates piano practice. The rest of the subjects she considers an interruption to an otherwise fun day. She is reading and sounding out words better this year. She seems to understand the spelling better this year too, although she has always had an interest in it (she has an urge to express herself). Sometimes she picks up on the math quickly such as addition or telling time, and at other times she seems to have a mental block with it. She can pattern match most symbols and shapes very well, but when she comes to numbers and how they are written, she sometimes acts as if she has never seen one before. She confuses which number comes first in a multiple digit number such as confusing 15, 50, and 51. When counting she mispronounces the 30s and 40s so that they sound almost identical and gets lost on the way through her count to the higher numbers. But I'm impressed with how quickly she is picking up addition of numbers like 14 + 3. She seems to be catching on to these faster than her older sister did. I suspect some of her math confusion is related to her lefty-righty issues. Her hatred of piano practice is rooted in her preference to simply play at other things all day. But she gets frustrated by mistakes and being asked to work her brain so hard. Even so, she is making progress. Her greatest weakness right now is her preference for joking around. She has class clown tendencies. She wants to make people laugh and to get them to join her in play. Schoolwork interrupts her preferred activities, therefore it is bad. Her biggest self-motivation right now is her desire to express herself. She wants to talk and write all of the time. In that her lessons help her do this, she likes them. If they require her to be quiet or to absorb information, she doesn't like them.

The Happy Boy mainly plays. He will sometimes join in his sister's phonics lesson. He likes to draw and play with playdough. He can spend several hours clipping tiny pieces of paper with scissors to make "treasure" for his miniature treasure box. He loves being read to. He likes to play simple games. He keeps asking for someone to give him piano practice too (The Adrenaline Junkie sometimes helps him out here). He has an obsession with letters and numbers. He loves to run and jump. For now, all of this is appropriate for a three-year-old boy. I try to be flexible when he wants to join in with the girls' schoolwork.

Some things that please me are when I see all three kids being able to play with each other. They all like to role play (love of acting from their Daddy's side of the family). They take turns saying lines of their favorite stories for entertainment. They like telling jokes (even if they are only knock knock jokes that don't make any sense because they just made them up). They all like to sing (they all prefer to be soloists, too). None of them are plagued by shyness like I was as a kid. I like to see them starting to help each other as they should when one of the others gets hurt. I like it when I see the willingness of the older kids help the youngest when he wants a crafted toy like theirs, or wants to play some of their games.

Some of the things that need improvement are attitudes about work, using good manners, learning self-control, and following instructions. I realize that all kids probably struggle with these same issues, but sometimes I wonder if our kids just have a little tougher time with some of these (whether by personal inclination or because of the way we've raised them thus far). I am trying to rectifying some of this by making manners more a part of how they are to behave every day here at home, making them have more work assignments that are their responsibility (instead of Mommy being their servant), and insisting on consequences for them not controlling their behavior or following instructions. It has been particularly hard for me to be consistent about this lately when I'm so tired. But I try.

Since I'm right there with the kids as they do their schoolwork, I am in a good position to see if they are understanding their lessons. Still I find it a better measure to see what is getting through to them, when I see them practicing, or reciting, or describing, or creating something that uses their new knowledge. Mostly, that is done in their off-time, when they are just playing.
Because of this "playing of their schooling", I sometimes wonder if I'm giving them enough off-time to help them use what they learn. Well, with us shifting to half days for a while, that may help out that area a little.

That is the end of my little homeschool report on our progress. I've taken more pictures that I will probably share soon that illustrate our adventures with pumpkins lately. For now, I'm tired and need my rest.

Pregnancy news

2010-09-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

I promised another post after my doctor's appointment, so here it is.

As of this Thursday, I am eight months pregnant. I am slightly on the big side of that. The doctor said that my abdomen measures at about 37 weeks instead of 35. The doctor doesn't think we will be having a small baby, but he's not huge yet. We have a month yet, if the baby comes on time. A baby can gain another couple of pounds still.

The baby has turned head downward, which is of course a good thing. Especially because the baby was transverse when they last checked. The baby has not yet "dropped," as they say. I have been feeling stronger contractions from time to time, but they are still widely spaced and not a concern. Although the doctor told me I was 1 centimeter dilated and 25% effaced, I take that with a grain of salt. In earlier pregnancies, I have had widely varying measurements from different practitioners this early on, so until I feel the contractions at 5 minutes apart I don't get very concerned.

I'm still in good health, but am much more uncomfortable. My out-of-whack posture is causing sciatic nerve problems. The advice for treating this is ice packs on the lower back and walking around (avoid sitting much if possible). I also had a rambunctious little three-year-old Happy Boy bounce onto my foot Friday night (while I was propping up my feet), which had the effect of breaking my right pinky toe. The advice for treating this is ice packs on the injury, staying off my feet and propping up the foot as much as I can (avoid walking as much as possible). Now, I'm sure you can see just as well as I can, that there is a bit of conflict in what I need to do to treat these problems. I do the best I can. I have to walk around to take care of the kids anyway, so that is exercise for the nerve problem. I use an ice pack on my lower back when I can barely walk anymore from pain. When I don't need to walk I sit to get off my foot, or lay down for a nap. I can't reach my foot to do ice packs there so, there you have it. Tim tells me I'm a trooper.

I am looking forward to my parents' arrival to help out in the near future. However that is still about two weeks away. In the meantime, I'm still managing to do the basic housework, getting the kids to do their schoolwork, and trying to remember that if something is on the floor, the kids can pick it up. Naps are getting to be a necessity again.

Coming up soon, we will be off to our local flu shot clinic this weekend. The kids (and Tim) hate that I insist upon this every year. Although we homeschool, we are not isolated. We get everything that's going around. Having some protection from the worst of it is helpful. Also, if I get the flu shot before the baby is born, he'll have some protection. Babies aren't allowed to have the shot until they are 6 months old. So, anyone who spends time around tiny babies, should have the shot if they can to help protect the little ones (thinking of our brand new baby niece here).

As mentioned in my last post, we need to find time to shop for a sofa, too.

Then we need to plan a birthday party for the Pillowfight Fairy who is approaching age 8 at rapid speed. She is a little worried that the baby might be born on her birthday, and she doesn't want to share her day. I am just trying to figure out how to schedule a party with contigency plans if I need to make a trip to the hospital.

One good thing that has fallen into place in the schedule is that our neighborhood clean-up is going to be early next week. We will be able to set out all of the carpet and other flooring debris from our remodeling projects and the clean-up crews will take it away for us. Just in time for us to clear off the RV pad for my parents arrival. I hope all of the other appointments and needed things will fall into place just as nicely.

We are only three days off our homeschool schedule (courtesy of sick kids a couple of weeks ago), but we should be able to make that up by delaying our next break a little while. We'll be taking a few weeks off when the baby comes anyway. So, that will kind of reset for us what "on schedule" means for us this year. We will probably be finishing the school year at the end of May rather than the end of April. I can live with that.

I think that gets me up to date on most of our news. We are nearly one third of the way through the school year. So my next post will probably be reflecting on how that is going.

An Update with Pictures

2010-09-24T15:28:00.000-07:00

We've been pretty busy lately. So I've been having trouble picking what to post for you next. I'll start with the beginnings of our autumn colors. It has been cooling slightly and we are starting to feel autumn coming around the corner.

Our pomegranates are ripening. I don't know how much jelly we will make this year since our crop is much smaller than in the past.

Our garden is almost done for the season. We have potted our pepper plants, the pumkins are ready (a month earlier than we intended), we have one lonely canteloupe ripening up and a couple of overgrown tomato plants at the end of their productive season.

Here is another picture of that nice big pumpkin in the garden. I haven't measured it, but it is between 18 inches to 2 feet tall. We also have a slightly smaller orange pumpkin and a much smaller white pumpkin.

With the pumpkins ready a month before Halloween, plus the fact that the baby is due about that time. We will probably be cutting these lovely things up for cooking. We got ourselves a real pressure canner to handle canning vegetables. So we plan on trying it out by preserving our pumpkins for later use. The kids love pumpkin muffins and we will be able to make a lot of muffins with these.

Now we haven't just been gardening. After we replaced our livingroom/diningroom floor recently, we were planning to make changes to our kitchen floor next. You see the poor floor has looked nasty since we bought the house, it was discoloring, and we were tired of it. This is one of the few pictures we have taken that shows the old floor.

You can't see much of the floor. It was linoleum that had a white/cream tile print on it. It had at least a couple of deep cuts in it that went all the way down to the cement slab. It had scorch marks on it of all things. It was slowly discoloring to a grayish color and had been for a few years. About a month ago, while we were canning salsa, we were running our dishwasher more frequently than usual to clean canning jars. We noticed that when we did this we had water seeping up from the cuts in our floor. This should not happen. After checking for leaks under the sink (nope) we tried living with out the dishwasher for a few days (everything dried out), then ran the dishwasher (wet again). Yep... we had a dishwasher leak that was seeping under the flooring. Apparently the flooring only went a few inches past the front of the dishwasher then the machine was sitting on the bare concrete slab. When the leak happened, it was dripping on the concrete and seeping under the flooring. This must have been an ongoing leak for some time because I have been noticing the growing grey discoloration for at least a couple of years now. We were growing mold under our floor.

With our intentions of changing out the floor soon already firmly set in our minds, plus the added incentive of a leaking dishwasher, we decided that this was one change that was not going to wait until after the baby was born. So last weekend, Tim and a friend from work moved the appliances so we could do the replacement. We touched up the cabinet paint while we were at it. We also bought a new dishwasher. So our kitchen is back together, it is fully functional again, and the floor looks good for a change. It is relatively inexpensive vinyl sheet, but that is perfect for a kitchen. What do you think?

We are still eyeing the remaining floors. Perhaps we can finish up the floors in the family room and our tile entryway sometime this spring. We will progress as we can afford it. In the meantime some springs in our most heavily used sofa just gave out last night. We will be in the market for a sofa next.

That's probably enough for now. I'll do another post soon giving an update on the pregnancy. I have an appointment on Monday.

Right brain, Left brain

2010-09-09T21:45:00.000-07:00

All is well. I have approximately 7 more weeks before the next baby arrives. We are on schedule with the schooling. And if I want a working dishwasher in the near future we will be doing some much needed work in the kitchen in the immediate future. So the battle between order and chaos continues.

In the meantime, Tim and I are still trying to think ahead to the next step in homeschooling, so that it doesn't sneak up on us and take us unprepared. Two things we have been considering are first, what kind of physical activity do we need to get our kids into so that they don't turn into blobs, and second, what kind of art do we need to teach. As a result we are keeping our eyes open and asking for advice from those we know. Tim's brother suggested some art books to help with teaching drawing. They are "Rapid Viz" by Hanks & Belliston, and "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" by Betty Edwards. We've taken a look at them and think that these books will be helpful, but to do it right, we will need to learn the techniques ourselves to be effective teachers of them. So we are starting now (particularly Tim) in working through the lessons and exercises so that next year we will be better able to teach them.

Each book has a different slant. Rapid Viz teaches methods to take ideas and to quickly get them on paper using perspective and other technical skills. Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain is about teaching a person to better control which part of the brain is doing the artwork. It talks a great deal about what the left brain does and is good at, and what the right brain does and is good at. Reading through this information has helped to explain some things going on with us and our kids that we thought puzzling. It turns out understanding left and right brain function can be helpful in education.

OK, that's not really a huge surprise. But, until you actually learn what the left and right brain functions are you miss a really big piece of the puzzle. For instance, I knew that my two daughters seem to operate and think completely differently. I chalked this up to personality and individualism. But, now I see a left brain, right brain element at work that I had not realized before. And although I see it as useless alter a person's personality to educated them, I can evaluate whether they are operating more left brain or more right brain and tailor instruction to meet them where they are. Personalities are tricky and complicated. brain function is quantifiable and much easier to adapt to.

So what have we learned about left brain and right brain you might ask? Well, many of these things we knew in some fashion. Left brain is where language use takes place. Left brain is where logical methods of thinking take place. Left brain thinking is orderly. Right brain is more comfortable with symbolic understanding, intuition, and chaotic thinking processes. What I didn't realize so much is that the left brain likes to be the boss of the two and tries to take over even when the right brain is better able to handle the task at hand. Also, some people have a more shared way they use their left and right brains. The more we read the more we realized that although I am very left brained (no surprise there), Tim actually is one of those people that has a left-right sharing going on in the brain.

Then that got us thinking about our kids. Are they lefties, righties, or shared as far as brain function goes? The Pillowfight Fairy shows strong signs of being a left brained kid, a bit like her Mom (puzzling since she's so much like her Dad). The Adrenaline Junkie shows strong signs of being either right brained or shared like her Dad (even though she's much like her Mom in other ways). We are not sure about the Happy Boy yet. It is easier to tell when they are older. It helps if they read and write some, as well as some other older kid things, to be able to diagnose how their brains are functioning.

So now we understand better why our oldest kid does so well with language, prefers routine, and gets upset when she is asked to try something different or learn something new. Now we understand better why our second kid has more trouble recognizing patterns, can't stand to write a letter of the alphabet the same way twice, gets more confused about her left and right, and likes to move about and experience her learning, rather than hearing, or reading it. So now that we know where their strengths lie, it is tempting to just keep to those strengths. However, we need to help them overcome weaknesses too. If we just right them off as left brained or right brained, without helping them to compensate for their weak areas, we are not doing them favors. So a left brained kid can learn easily in left brained ways. But we will also have to do things to teach her how to access her right brain for some useful skills in life. A right brained kid can be very creative and intuitive, but will encounter lots of bumps and road blocks in life if she can't learn to maneuver in a world set up for left brained people.

We are already helping the left brain side of learning with our emphasis on rigorous academics in language arts, mathematics, science, history, and religion. I like to think that we are also already helping some development for the right side of the brain with teaching music and art. But even so, you can teach mathematics in left brained ways (pattern matching, counting, logic) or right brained ways (spatial perception, symbolic representation, role playing). You can teach music and art in left brained ways as well (scales, notation, perspective). So is it better to teach these subjects only to the student's strengths, avoid the strengths and work on the weaker area, or a little of both? I am currently of the opinion that you start with strengths when you can, but don't completely leave out areas where they function in a weaker mode. We may start to teach drawing from a more left brained method for a left brained kid (like perspective) and then later teach some right brained methods after progress and success has been gained the other way. We may teach dance and music appreciation to a right brained kid first, and then move on to mechanics of dance and musicals instruments to round out their learning.

It has definitely got us thinking about how we do our teaching. It also explains a lot of things that just seemed strange. Like how our Adrenaline Junkie who has trouble remembering which hand to use in playing the piano will suddenly break down and weep at the piano, not because of the mechanics of playing the piano, but because the song is so sad (in a minor key). She has a feel for the music that her older sister, who masters the mechanics more easily, misses.

One thing I like about starting school early...

2010-08-20T10:55:00.000-07:00

We typically start our school year in July. This works for us for several reasons:

We are inside doing schoolwork during the hottest time of the year.
Our kids change to new grades at church in July, so if we change at the same time, there is less confusion about what grade level they are in.
We take more breaks throughout the year and stretch our school year out a little, so starting early allows us to end in the spring instead of summer.
When everyone else is experiencing back to school season, we are already one sixth done with our school year and are taking our first break.

Currently we are in our first week-long break from school after successfully completing six weeks of school. I like to review how things are going every time we take a break.

So far, it looks like I planned the Fairy's 3rd grade year well. It is slightly more relaxed and better organized than last year. She is covering more subjects, but never more than eight per day. I am also trying not to over plan the art projects. We are concentrating on sewing skills this year, allowing her to work on drawing, crafts, and educational coloring books on the side as her interests take her. I have also decided that this is a good year to increase some household chores for my two oldest. After every school break they will get an additional household chore to do until they are doing one job every day by the end of the school year. I think they are old enough to learn to sweep, dust, clear the table, wash dishes, and clean in the bathroom. So by the end of the year, I will have some semi-competent help with keeping the house cleaner than it usually is. Frankly, I've been so busy with other things, I haven't been keeping it as clean as I like. It is time for that to change. My kids need to learn that their mother and father are not the maid and janitor and that keeping the house clean is a job they need to do too. I do not intend to raise my kids to be well educated, but be unable to function on their own.

The Adrenaline Junkie could probably handle a bigger school load, but she is doing well with what she has. She has a very short attention span still. But she is a year older than her sister was in Kindergarten and is doing more as well. I have been keeping her work to short blocks, and that has been working well. She is also more social and needs playtime with her little brother (that helps him as well).

The Happy Boy has his good days and bad days. It helps that he can play with playdough or draw on his own. Then he has playtime with whichever sister is available. He sometimes listens in to the Kindergarten phonics lesson, since sounding out words is interesting to him now. He understands more than I realize. I get clues about this every now and then. The other day he was drawing on a tablet on my lap and spelled the word "monday" all on his own. That surprised me.

That is where we are right now.

A Simple Comment and Where It Leads...

2010-08-02T21:29:00.000-07:00

I didn't expect to have anything interesting to blog so soon. But these things often come up when you least expect them. Last Sunday night, I was visiting with a new acquaintance at the church playground while watching kids play. It turns out that their family also homeschools. So the topic turned to what methods do you use and are you with a group, etc. In the course of the conversation she made a little commonplace comment that I've heard often enough before. It was a comment that seems completely ordinary, but the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. The comment was that she didn't feel comfortable teaching her own kids after they reach 7th grade level work, so she sends her older kids to a charter school/homeschool arrangement where they are at school two days a week and then do independent study at home the rest of the week.

Now, please don't mistake my concern with this. I am not a purist that thinks my way is the only way. I have no problem with charter schools or independent study programs. I think that parents should be in charge of their own kids education whatever path they need to follow. The part of the comment that bothered me was not regarding method of schooling. The part that bothered me was about a person's comfort level in teaching their kids past a certain level.

Now, I understand that not all people feel like they can teach. By all means, if you don't think you can teach, don't teach. Though, I sometimes wonder if that is sometimes used as a cop-out so people can do as they please instead of sometimes making the occasional sacrifice to do what is best for their family. Personally, I don't feel that I am tempermentally suited to teach in a classroom situation where I would be teaching other people's kids. I am perfectly fine with teaching my own kids one-on-one. I have friends who are public school teachers who are just the reverse... they'll teach a passel of other people's kids without batting an eye, but can't imagine teaching their own kids. There are plenty of valid reasons to not teach. I'm O.K. with that.

What I keep coming back to in this comment that bugs me is, if you can teach up to a certain point, what prevents a person from teaching past that point. I didn't get into a deeper discussion with this acquaintance on the topic, because I thought that might be a little bit too much for a new acquaintance. What I started thinking about was what makes a person qualified to teach.

Knowledge about particular teaching methods may equip a person to teach better than if they were ignorant of those methods, but methods don't make a teacher. To my mind, understanding of the subject matter is a key element to being able to teach it. Though there are times when prior knowledge isn't necessary if the teacher is learning along with the student. Perhaps the student is outstripping the teacher's abilities. That would be cause for a different teacher indeed. But let us say we are not talking about extraordinary abilities. When a teacher gives up teaching at 7th, 8th, or 9th grade, there are probably lots of reasons for it.

But to my mind, in my usual way of thinking, anyone who has mastered a subject themselves should be capable of teaching it. So I keep thinking back to the comment and wonder about the teacher's mastery of the subject matter. With what little was said, I got the feeling in the conversation that the mother felt that her writing and composition skills would not be able to keep up with what her kids needed. Instead she is finding a way to keep the best of both worlds so to speak by using additional teachers to fill in the gaps while still keeping a workable homeschooling situation for her family. That is commendable. I don't want to imply with what I say that I am tearing anyone down. But, the comment about not feeling competent to teach what you yourself should have learned in school, should really prompt some self-reflection. If I cannot teach someone what I learned in school, did I really learn it or did I just punch my time card and manage a passing grade on a report card that didn't really mean anything? If I cannot teach someone what I learned in school, am I functionally below that level in education myself? If I cannot teach someone what I learned in school because I forgot it from lack of use, is it necessary for my child to learn and necessary for me to relearn? If I cannot teach someone because I never learned it myself, is it a good thing for them to learn or am I trying to give them something I never had (whether good or bad)?

Now comes the follow-up questions to all of that self-reflection. If I had what is considered a basic education (whether public or private), and am not qualified to teach those same subjects to someone else, does that mean that my education failed to reach the mastery stage and therefore failed. How many people who are educated in these "normal" methods of education (most of us were not homeschooled after all) are not well enough educated to be able to teach what they were taught? If a large percentage of people have this problem, what does that say for the education they received? What does this say about the educational systems used in our society?

I would love to tell you right now that I have all of the answers to the above questions. I don't. I do think these are some of the questions we parents should wrestle with as we figure out what is best for our families. I think I know some of the answers for me. I will share with you some of the answers as they apply to my teaching.

I had an excellent public school education. Two of the four colleges I attended were public and two were private. They were all good schools and I had many good teachers. I have studied four widely diverse subject areas at the college level. I should be well equipped for teaching others what I have learned myself. For the most part I am. Yet, I too have strong areas and weak areas. I remember upon receiving my bachelor's degree, thinking to myself, "why didn't I learn all of this in high school?" I felt a little let down that my good education wasn't better. Those of you who follow my blog may have seen my tendency to think deeply from time to time, but I do not claim to be a great writer. I have a masters degree in information science. I am a proficient researcher by training. I relate well to college level studies. I like the give and take of a deep and challenging conversation. I find the basic steps of early education kind of boring, but I understand the necessity of them. So I work hard at helping my kids understand them. I am actually looking forward to the time when I can teach logic and deeper topics about our world. I look forward to guiding a teen through their own studies and deep life questions. Will I come across things I simply cannot teach? Yep. My seven year old is already beyond my musical abilities with the piano. I never learned to play the piano. I played violin for just over two years. I picked up most of my basic music reading ability during that time, which isn't much. When she passes up my husband, we will need to find her another teacher for piano or whatever other instrument she chooses to learn. I am an active person and I like to walk, but I am not a good swimmer. Our kids will get swim lessons from someone else since we see that as a matter of personal safety as well as a good skill to know. I learned French in school and never completely felt like I could speak it. I struggle learning languages. This year we are beginning to teach our oldest daughter Latin. I am learning it with her and my knowledge of French helps me a little. At some point, I expect she will surpass my abilities, since she seems more gifted with languages than I am. We will still teach her, but probably through independent study style lessons where she is learning from someone else, instead of being directly taught by her parents. It is completely possible that with her love of language she will surpass my English abilities. My husband has better skills there than I do, but she may end up needing another teacher for that. We seem to have very independent minded kids and they may all go in directions we never imagined or had any training in whatsoever. That's O.K. We are equipped to handle the basics. And we know how to find appropriate training for the other stuff.

As for the broader implications of people not being able to teach someone else, it worries me. I remember back when I was working at a Christian College library, I got a phone call one day from a man who was very concerned. He worked at a church where they had just received their new quarter curriculum for their children's classes. They were scheduled to start using it the following Sunday, but nobody he talked to at his church knew much about the publisher of this curriculum and he wanted to talk to someone who was familiar with it so they could tell him whether it was O.K to use, in other words, was it doctrinally sound? I truly wished I could have helped him out, but I couldn't. I wasn't a specialist in Sunday school curriculum and the person who might have helped him was unavailable at the time. After talking with him I realized that if he didn't understand his own faith well enough to read a child's Bible lesson and analyze it for accuracy, then he had a much bigger problem than "should we use this curriculum?". He didn't know what he believed. People who don't have a good understanding of what they should know, don't know how to operate at the level that society says they are qualified to operate at. It is easier to be scammed when you don't understand things like finances, advertising, religion, and politics. When people are not able to think logically and critically in many areas of life, they run into trouble. When this is a widespread problem, society runs into trouble.

For myself, If I find an area that is important for me to improve (whether for training my children, or for my own needs), I would wish to make changes and improve. I would not relinquish my ability or right to teach my own children lightly. So, to finish up... I would like you to consider your own answers to those self-reflecting questions and consider what is going on in our society when people consider themselves or others as unfit teachers.

A Picture Post...Finally!

2010-07-29T21:36:00.000-07:00

I intended to get this post up a little earlier, but life sort of got in the way for awhile. I needed to recharge the camera battery for the longest time. So here are a few pictures to show you what we've been doing lately. First, a picture of Tim and the kids taken in our backyard one evening. It is noteworthy mainly because it is a halfway decent picture of four of us simultaneously.

Next comes further evidence that our backyard is keeping us busy. Here is a picture of the vegetable garden currently providing tomatoes, peppers, carrots, cabbage, and perhaps in a couple of months cucumbers, cantaloupe, and pumpkins.

Here is a picture of our grapes (up close) with not yet ripe golden plums in the background.

We just finished up a harvest of nectarines. This is what the tree looked like after harvesting several dozen.

I finished dehydrating the last ones this past week. We will have nectarine chips for several months. Lots of plums too. The Santa Rosa Plums finished up just as the nectarines came ripe. I think that peaches will be ready next, but I have a bit of a breather before then.

For the last month, we have had regular visits from some wild guests. These fowl seem to like our yard. They hang out in our front or backyard for several hours every few days. We seem to have some tasty bugs and we let them eat what blueberries are left at this point. In this picture you just see the mom and one chick. There are three chicks altogether. They have gotten more feathers in and are now about two thirds their mom's size. The mom stands about three feet tall when standing sentry.

I mentioned in previous posts, that I was quilting up a storm to make a baby quilt for my brother and sister-in-law who will soon be having a baby. I managed to get it ready for the baby shower with one day to spare. Tim did the design work and I did the construction. We are pleased with how it turned out.

Here is another view:

I also include for your enjoyment pictures of the fancy dresses that I made last year. I promised pictures of them so long that the girls have outgrown them and I didn't get pictures of them wearing them.

That's the Pillowfight Fairy's choice of colors. She fell in love with the lemon yellow golden color and the overskirt and shawl are sheer with glittery sparkles.

The Adrenaline Junkie just likes pretty stuff and didn't care to choose her own fabric so I got to pick out the fabrics unhindered. That's a flowered satin with golden overskirt. They looked very lovely in them, but The Fairy started to get annoyed how often people called her "Belle" in her dress. They were thoroughly overdressed for everything except perhaps the ballet.

Next for your enjoyment are a couple of pictures giving a before and after view of our livingroom. This past weekend, we went nuts, enduring more chaos than normal, and changed out a floor. Here is a before picture from last year (the people are fun, but notice the carpet):

Now for the after picture (once again, I like my husband, but notice the laminate on the floor):

We love having the new floor. We like it so much we are planning what will be next, since we don't really like any of the flooring in this house and never have. So when time and resources are available, we will be making more new changes.

So, with all of the gardening, sewing, remodeling, and oh yeah I'm six months pregnant and four weeks into the new school year, I hope you don't begrudge me the time to rest a little and not take the time to blog. I've been really tired.

Rather busy lately

2010-07-01T16:33:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. Just a quick note to let you know what I've been up to and why I haven't posted more.

I finally finished getting everything ready for our new school year which starts this Monday. And no the kids don't want to hear about it.
I've been madly working on a baby quilt with the hopes I'll have it ready in time for my sister-in-law's baby shower. (I plan to post pictures afterward, since the actual subject of the quilt is to be a surprise.)
My seven year old had a week at church day camp which completely messes with our normal schedule.
Currently my five year old is having swim lessons which completely messes with our normal schedule.
Our backyard orchard fruit season is just starting with plums that need to be picked every couple of days (I've been drying them this time).

My latest library homeschool/teaching book review is short. It is titled "Homeschooling Step-by-Step" by LauraMarey Gold & Joan M. Zielinski. It was published in 2002 so its not too far out of date. It is a great place to start if someone has questions about homeschooling, whether they are wanting to homeschool or if they are curious because someone they know is doing it and would like to understand the movement better. It covers how one starts homeschooling, dealing with legal issues, how to teach, educational philosophies, curriculum, parent/teacher confidence as a first timer, learning environment, balance, challenges, support, and graduation. I can't say that I learned a lot, although I appreciated some parts of the educational philosophy section that explained Waldorf method and Montessori method which I have heard about but never had explanations for. I see the book as a one stop shop for information. By reading it, you get a better idea what you want to look at further. It is potentially very useful if you are needing lots of general information. It is also helpful at pointing the way to more information on each subject. I found it an easy and interesting read (particularly since I'm already homeschooling).

Latest Pregnancy News

2010-06-12T16:01:00.000-07:00

Since I had a doctor appointment on Tuesday and an ultrasound on Thursday, I should probably give an update on how the pregnancy is going.

I'm at the half-way point, twenty weeks, and all seems to be going well. My doctor says that the baby's growth seems to be on track, and he agrees that I've been more reasonable with my weight gain this time. My second trimester blood test has come back testing negative for problems.

The ultrasound results won't be ready until Monday, but we are fairly experienced with ultrasounds by now. We know that the technician isn't allowed to tell us how the baby looks to them, but we can ask questions like, "are we looking at the stomach?," "Is that the division in the brain?," and "Are we looking at the left side or right side?" According to our own view of the ultrasound, the baby's body parts seem to be in the correct number and positions. The brain is divided and formed properly, the heart is on the left side, and there are two kidneys. We did not see any sign of the problems that baby E had. If I don't hear any results on Monday, I'll email my doctor to get an official report from him (since I'm not scheduled to have another appointment until July).

My doctor was a little peeved that I didn't have an appointment with him until 20 weeks. I had been scheduled with nurse practitioners (and not my usual one at that) since they were having trouble scheduling me. I've had this doctor long enough through enough pregnancies and memorable events that he knows me by name and face. He told me not to let that happen again, if I'm having trouble with appointments, I'm to email him and they will work it out. He's been a good doctor. That's all of the pregnancy news.

Now for my homeschool update:

The book I picked up this past week wasn't as useful, but I was distracted at the library with a misbehaving three-year-old. I picked up "Making the Grade: Everything Your 3rd Grader Needs to Know." I thought it was one of those guides that covers what subjects are usually covered in third grade. It is not. It is a set of supplemental lessons to be used to reinforce the traditional curriculum (though it doesn't spend much time covering what that curriculum includes). I thought that the most useful part of it was the introductory material. It has a section describing how the book should be used, a note for homeschoolers, a section talking about ideal communication between home and school, and finally a section describing what a third grader is like. Perhaps if a parent was not happy with their child's current schooling, a book like this might be helpful to supplement the regular school day. If a homeschooler is trying to scrounge up more lessons to teach their kids, this might be helpful. However, we are pleased with the lessons we already have planned and don't see this type of supplementary lessons as a helpful thing. I did find the section describing a typical third grader to be helpful. I haven't come across descriptions like this for my kids since they were preschoolers. I had noticed various ways my oldest was growing and changing, but I had no idea how typical some of this was. Now I know that she's actually acting normal (for her). Who knew! I'll try to find a better book next time.

Combining pregnancy and homeschooling, my husband tells me that I'm already nesting. That's because we discovered that our baby is a boy and now I can sort through all our baby things to give away the girl stuff. I'm also getting the "Boys" room reorganized to house two kids and revamping the "Girls" room to have room for desks. Four and a half months early is only early if you don't realize that we will be starting our new school year in only three more weeks. Once school is in session for us, I will not have nearly this much time to organize and move furniture. I will be doing third grade for the Pillowfight Fairy, kindergarten for the Adrenaline Junkie, and keeping track of a preschool Happy Boy who will soon not be taking afternoon naps. Desks for the girls are so they can have a quiet place to write, color and do lessons when they need the quiet. We are going to have four kids ages eight and younger, quiet places are getting harder to find.

What does a teacher do during summer vacation?

2010-05-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

Teachers take a much needed break. I am doing that. But I'm also doing something else that teachers do on their break. I'm doing a little professional development (so to speak) by checking out books on education from my local library and reading. The idea hit me as I was at the library with the kids. I was letting each of them check out two books, why couldn't I? There happened to be a shelf in the kids section dedicated to parents and educators, so I looked through it. I checked out a two inch thick tome titled, The Educated Child: A Parent's Guide from Preschool through Eighth Grade, by William J. Bennett, Chester E. Finn, Jr., and John T.E. Cribb, Jr. Despite the daunting size, it was actually an easy read and I finished it in just a few days. So here is my book report:

Their audience is intended to be very broad. Any parent of school age children or educators of children in any setting are encouraged to read it and use it as a resource as necessary. It tries to address what makes a good education for kids in those age levels. How to recognize the signs that your school choice is either achieving or not achieving this and what you can do to improve any problems found. It discusses what is an appropriate core curriculum for children in these age levels in the subjects of English, History and Geography, Art and Music, Mathematics, and Science. It discusses how parental involvement helps a child succeed in school and how specifically to do this. It discusses how to provide a good education to both special needs and specially gifted children. It addresses common school problems and what to do if your school or child is dealing with these. It makes a case for the need for character education, health education, and extracurricular activities in addition to academics. It also includes a very useful chapter describing a variety of issues currently debated in education such as : Education standards, skills vs. knowledge, multiculturalism, discovery learning, multiple intelligences, self-esteem, cooperative learning, public vs. private schools, charter schools, home schooling, religion and schools, social promotion, tracking, uniforms, year-round schooling, bilingual education, teachers unions, and more. The final chapter addresses the issue of becoming involved in education reform. This is not talking about theoretical reform but the nuts and bolts of bringing about change from the local level to the national level.

So after reading this I should ask the question of "what did I get out of it?" The book talks a great deal about the public school situation so does it have anything to say to a homeschool mom? The answer is yes. I related well to their repeated emphasis that the parent must be involved in their child's schooling and the person responsible for seeing to it that their child gets a good education no matter what choice of school they decide on. I found the discussion of core curriculum helpful to me so that I can gauge whether we are making good curriculum choices for our kids. I found the section about parents helping their child succeed to be very good practical advice for any parent and several areas gave me food for thought. One was teaching good study habits. A weakness we have doing school at home is that it is difficult to provide a quiet area for study when some kids are in school and some are not. I will need to find some better solutions for this problem. The Pillowfight Fairy already complains about the distractions bothering her and I know the Adrenaline Junkie is even more susceptible to the problem. So I have some brainstorming to do on this one. They talked a bit about testing, reasons for and against it, how to develop test taking skills, and how to do authentic assessment. I'm not big on doing a lot of testing. I am wary of teaching to the test instead of making sure real lasting learning is taking place. However testing is useful in some ways. We already do spelling tests and math tests on a regular basis. I verbally quiz her on her readings to see what she is getting from them. But, I have been reluctant to do any official, comprehensive tests, partly because they are not required in our state, and partly because I don't want to pigeon-hole my kids into a category and instead think in terms of individual skills and knowledge rather than grades. However, at some point we will probably do more testing, so I need to consider how to train in test studying and test taking. They also presented the idea of the IEP (individualized education program) that is used in special education programs and bemoaned that it isn't available for all kids. This is the idea that every child's progress is reviewed at least once a year and a new plan put in place for how to give that child the best chance at a good education. I love this. This is what many homeschoolers already do when they are tailoring the education to each child. Perhaps we don't all do it in a formal fashion, but it encourages me to continue to make my plan every year and review how we are progressing frequently (I need to review more frequently than I do). I was reassured in the school problems section that we are so far avoiding the problems that they mentioned. In the area on non-academics, I was challenged that I don't have a plan in place for teaching character, physical education and other extra-curricular subjects. It's not that we don't do this. We are simply doing it haphazardly. Having a more specific plan with clear goals would be a good thing. I liked the section explaining the various educational issues out there. I already have my personal gut reaction to each debate, but it was helpful to get more background on it and a better understanding of why the opposite side holds the view it does. It didn't change my mind about anything, but it helped me clarify my position on each debate.

All in all, it was a helpful book and I'm glad I read it. If anything it encouraged me that our choice to homeschool is going to give our kids a good education. Not because homeschooling is inherently better, but because of the seriousness and effort with which we approach our task. So I'm ready for another book to read, but have no idea what it will be. The shelf I had look at wasn't very big. I may have to check their online catalog and ask them to hold one for me that I find more interesting (leisurely browsing doesn't happen with three kids seven and younger at the library).

End of school! Yea!

2010-05-14T23:17:00.000-07:00

The Pillowfight Fairy is quite pleased to know that we finished her second grade year today. She has some very unrealistic ideas about doing whatever she pleases for the foreseeable future. What she doesn't realize is that her Mommy is at least as excited as she is. No more prep. work. No more being the bad guy by making her get back to her studies. It is a well deserved break.

Unfortunately, I tend to look ahead and know that the break isn't really all that long. A mere month and a half. But, I have nearly completed next year's lesson plans for both girls, so I can spend that free time doing other things. I think my general priorities are getting financial information in order again (it's amazing how fast I get behind on that when my attention is elsewhere), cleaning, organizing, discarding, and one craft project promised to be done in August. All that cleaning, organizing, and discarding is my normal personality but it tends to go into overdrive when I'm pregnant. You could say that I have a perpetual nesting instinct.

So, now that school is over again, I can look back on the year with satisfaction. The day to day schoolwork didn't always go smoothly, but it went anyway and with fewer bumps than in the previous year. I think that I am getting better at the teaching side of things. I also think that the Fairy is appreciating her schoolwork more (even though she still complains). I will probably be spending a fair amount of my free thinking time to mull over the best ways to work with the Adrenaline Junkie. I need to cover the same material as I did with her sister, but now I need to present it differently to a very different girl. I have noticed signs that the Junkie is making a mental transition that comes between preschool and grade school. That gives me hope that she'll be a little bit more able to learn academic subjects. The trick will be how to incorporate ideas that she relates to in order to retain her attention.

I also don't know how far along the Happy Boy will be in the next year. He will still be a preschooler of course. But, he is beginning to be able to draw semi-recognizable things and likes to have people write words for him. I suspect that I will be encouraging him to do lots of drawing this year. He will probably want to participate when I'm reviewing phonics with the Junkie. I would not be surprised if he ends up being another early reader. He will probably stop having afternoon naps this year too. So, I'll probably need to break out the playdough and paints again (much to everyone's joy).

I don't know if you have noticed, but I talk a lot about what I see or plan for the future. I like to think about it. I think it just helps me prepare myself for the real thing if I can visualize it in my head first. Then I end up writing it in this blog. That gives me a chance to put it outside of myself and look at it from a different angle. Sometimes I'm simply planning what I need to do tomorrow. Sometimes, I'm wondering how the next year's schooling will progress. Other times, I'm trying to glimpse a distant time yet ahead (like when I no longer have to change diapers or potty train). I have learned that my looking ahead can be both good and bad. I have been known to plan something too far in advance and had to redo all of my work to get it right. But, when I plan ahead, I do accomplish so much more than if I didn't.

Besides school, there have been a few other things going on. I've finally been making jelly from last year's pomegranate harvest that has been taking up way too much room in my freezer. I bought myself a new food dehydrator to prepare for this year's fruit harvest. I've been making plans for summer camps, swim lessons and road trips. I've been potty training the Happy Boy for about a month now (with mixed results).

I'm now into my second trimester. My visit to my health provider last week was uneventful. It was mainly checking the heart beat of the baby (in the 140-150 range for those who follow such things) and scheduling my next blood test to look for abnormalities. The blood test I took care of today. I won't have the results back right away. I'll probably have them by my next appointment in June. I will also have my ultrasound in June. We are looking forward to it because we are curious about whether we are having a boy or girl. But, we are also dreading it, because we have already had bad news from ultrasounds twice in previous pregnancies. I am forcing myself to assume the best until told otherwise.

We also took a cat in for surgery today. One of our three cats has had a nasty growth or abscess on her tail for a while. After several vet visits, we finally had to have them remove most of her tail. I'm not sure what the recovery time is on tail amputations, but we'll have to be keeping an extra close eye on her for a while. So far she seems to be doing well, but she is a bit wobbly from the medication she is on.

That's all of my news for now.

Pregnancy update

2010-04-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

I saw a nurse practitioner today, so I have a small update on the pregnancy. I'm at 12 weeks so the first trimester is ending. I heard the baby's heartbeat, which is reassuring. In the last month I've been poked with needles several times to determine whether or not I have diabetes. The multiple pokes are a result of failing the one hour glucose test (1st poke), then I had to take the 3 hour fasting glucose test (4 more pokes), and finally a final fasting test minus the glucose (6th poke). I only had one number off on my 3 hour test. My fasting blood sugar seems to run a bit higher than normal. My reasoning is that it was caused because they wanted me to have a half sandwich and milk snack at a time when I would normally be going to bed instead of eating. Of course my level was slightly high. So I tried to counteract the effects of the late snack by taking a brisk walk around the neighborhood the morning of my final test. It worked. Now I only have to get exercise and healthful meals to keep myself as healthy as I appear to be now.

I am happy to say that I've been better about the healthful meals this pregnancy. I have only gained about five or six pounds so far and haven't got out the maternity clothes yet (although I am in a size larger pair of pants). In my former pregnancies I would have gained about 15 pounds by now. I've decided that my body reacts to hunger differently when I'm pregnant. It just skips the "hmm... I'm starting to get a little hungry" phase and jumps straight to "I'm starving." As a result, I would tend to eat much more than usual since I listened to what my body was telling me. This time around I'm wise to the problem. I consciously eat normal portions and then wait a few minutes to give my body time to realize that it's had some food before I start to decide if I should have seconds or dessert. I also have been snacking on protein or veggies instead of sweets and breads (I love my carbs!). As a result my weight gain has been moderate. Though I think about food a lot more. Tim says that he eats better when I'm pregnant.

Unfortunately, I haven't been doing as well on exercise. This has been a very wet, dreary winter and spring keeps turning wet and cold. I haven't gone walking much. Then those times that I put it in the schedule, I have to deal with either three kids competing to be first or pull two of them in a wagon behind me. If the Pillowfight Fairy is walking, she tends to walk at a decent pace and I'm only pulling about 70 pounds of kids in the wagon. If the Adrenaline Junkie is walking, she tends to walk right in front of me and too slowly, talks so much that she isn't paying attention to where she is going and I'm pulling about 80 pounds of kids in the wagon. If the Happy Boy is walking (well... actually running) he has to be watched like a hawk to make sure he stops before crossing streets and stops to wait for us and stops when a neighbor wants to talk and no he may not pick the neighbor's flowers, all the while I'm pulling about 90 pounds of kids in the wagon. Under such circumstances, it is no wonder I haven't been all that enthused about going for walks. As the school year winds down, I am going to make it more of a priority.

In the meantime, we've finally started potty training with the Happy Boy. We know we should have started much earlier with all of our kids, but every time the timing seemed right to do it, I was having another baby and was beat. So all of our kids have been late potty-trainers. With the Happy Boy, we used cloth diapers at first, and he seemed to have the concept of being wet and not liking it. But when he was too big for a changing table, we switched to pull ups and we were lazy, so he learned a bad habit. Now we are trying to change the bad habit and we know it will probably take a long time. I will say it now, to commit myself to an audience who can keep me accountable, that I have no intention of using pull-ups with my next child. I intend to follow a majority cloth diaper regimen straight into potty-training.

Oh yes... our girls have decided that we don't have enough girls in the family and they are lobbying for this new baby to be a girl and keep trying to get us to agree to their favorite girl names. I know that they can count, so I'm considering them just a bit biased on this issue. Though to be fair, the Happy Boy could probably hold his own just fine either way.

So that's our latest news, such as it is.

Observations from a week off from school

2010-04-02T22:23:00.000-07:00

We have just finished our final holiday week of the school year. The end of the school year is approaching fast. Typically in these final few weeks of school the actual work tapers off as we end some subjects before others. We have two more weeks of math, three more of grammar, and so on. As some topics drop out, I can lengthen the lessons for the remaining subjects and speed up their completion. So sometime in the next six weeks, formal lessons will be replaced with a more relaxed schedule that is more typical in our holiday weeks.

During the school year we take a week long holiday about every six weeks with a two week break at Christmas. This helps us keep our sanity knowing that a break is not too far distant. For mommy these breaks give me a chance to catch up on long term chores (like clutter management, or toy retirement) or schedule otherwise difficult to fit in shopping trips. For the kids it is a chance to play an extra video game, work on that craft project, read a book for fun, do some coloring book time, and play outside more (weather permitting). Mommy gets to just enjoy some down time, too. After a week break, a return to the usual schedule is refreshing. Much more than a week and the kids start to show signs that they need more schedule "boundaries" to feel comfortable again. I think the week off helps clear my brain too. It helps me have time to reflect on our progress, plans for the future, what works, what needs to improve and just who are these kids of mine.

So here are a few random observations from a week off from school.

The Pillowfight Fairy likes piano enough to play it for fun when she doesn't have to.
The Fairy and the Adrenaline Junkie like to play games together.
The Adrenaline Junkie and the Happy Boy have the same energy levels and a similar interest in running all over the place.
The Fairy has made substantial progress in her needlework craft to the point that it is now entirely her own. She can usually thread the needle, she can start her thread and end it properly and she can follow the pattern of stitches to completion. Mommy is only needed if some unforseen disaster occurs.
The Junkie reads and spells better than she realizes. She assumes that she can't read things or spell them, but when prompted is pleasantly surprised that she can after all. She just doesn't like going to all that work when there is an easier way (such as ask someone else to do it).
The Junkie has no perspective. Specifically she doesn't understand why Mommy can't teach her how to make a video game during her brother's naptime or drop her off at her grandparents' house (2 hour drive) whenever she feels like it. She has grand plans of inviting everyone we've ever met to our house for a party. She suggested we make a child sized wooden train and railroad in our backyard. Then this has to compete for space with the life-size castle she is planning to make out of cardboard. She is very eager to wash dishes and clean house except that she can't reach the sink properly and she doesn't have the patience to do the job as instructed. (I remember my own attempts at dishwashing at her age and do not wish to recreate the mess and the work needed to straighten it out again.)
The Fairy and the Happy Boy can actually play together sometimes and enjoy themselves. I've noticed how the two younger kids play well together. But, the oldest kid tended to want to do her own things when not doing school work, or to play with her sister. But this week I actually saw her initiating a game of catch with the Happy Boy that gave them both some fun. It was good to see them get along so well.
All three kids are actors. They will all re-enact any favorite scene at a moments notice. They will "quote" videos with each other during lunch (each taking turns saying a particular character's lines). Even the three year old does this.
When the Junkie gets an idea into her head it is hard to get her to let go of it. She is tremendously stubborn. She doesn't take no for an answer and she gets in trouble for being overly persistent.
The Junkie is normally very unfocused in her manner of living. She flits from one thing to the next on average every five minutes. She forgets what she is doing and makes mistakes because she is distracted or overly playful.
The two previous observations seem to be contradictory, but I suspect that they are simply two facets of her personality. As she gets older, I suspect the stubborn persistence will give her drive and focus to do the things that are important to her. The unfocused, distactableness in her personality is a combination of her love of fun and an untrained mind. Fun and humor are often a result of the spontaneous action or word. This can be nutured and encouraged to result is a well-developed sense of humor. However, some of the lack of focus is purely, lack of training or discipline (not discipline defined as punishment, but discipline defined as planned growth toward a goal). I see a great deal of potential in this little bundle of energy and contradictions that are my daughter. She will be a challenge to train. May God give me the wisdom I need for this little girl.
The Happy Boy is firmly in his routine is good phase. If the day goes along his normal routine (even if everybody else's routines are off), he is content and cooperative. If his routine is off, he is argumentative, grumpy and quick on the tantrums.
The Happy Boy likes to snack. I don't generally allow my kids to have snacks, because it usually ruins their appetites for the regular meals. But if a kid has eaten his/her last meal well and is hungry early, I might allow a snack (growth spurts usually do it). But the Happy Boy seems to be like this all the time. He likes a big breakfast, snacks, and smaller meals the rest of the day. It makes me wonder what the teen years will be like.

Those are pretty random thoughts. But I like to mull them over in stray moments. Eventually, I may come up with educational goals, house rules, or wise precepts based on these disjointed ideas. Like a cook does with a recipe, I like to let my thoughts simmer on the back burner, so to speak, for a long time. From time to time I stir or add a little seasoning. Then I taste to see if it is ready serve yet. Eventually these little morsels add up to something useful and perhaps helpful to someone else.

Doctor's appointment

2010-03-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

For my faithful readers (mostly family), I have an update on the pregnancy. It was confirmed at my doctor's appointment today that the baby has a heartbeat and is appropriately sized for 9 weeks. That means that we are looking at a due date very close to the Pillowfight Fairy's birthday. We won't have more substantial news for a while now.

In the meantime we have both our daughters suggesting girl names and telling us that we don't have enough girls in the family. Our son has not given his opinion of all this, probably because he is still under the impression that he is the baby.

A Scattered and Miscellaneous Update

2010-03-17T21:29:00.000-07:00

So much has been going on lately, I feel like I need to do several posts on different topics to keep from having a horrendously long post updating things. But it is difficult to decide what to start with. I'll start in and see where it takes me. I might be able to do an all-encompassing update after all.

Tim and the Pillowfight Fairy have completed practices and performances of the Mikado. They thoroughly enjoyed it and will probably do more play productions in the future. The Fairy is apparently just as much a ham as her Daddy. Tonight she told us that her favorite actress is herself.

I have managed to get our taxes prepared, but need to sit down with Tim so he can check my work. That's been hard to manage. Partly because, after all, who really wants to do taxes? But we also seem to be taking turns being absolutely beat soon after the kids go to bed.

We are very close to the end of the school year. About seven weeks left to do. As a result, I have a pretty good idea what the Fairy needs to do for next year. There is a part of me that relishes the planning stage of a new school year. But, It is a lot of work the way I plan it. I do a complete year lesson plan in detail down to what lessons on what day. I've bought curricula for spelling, grammar, writing, history, math, and latin (that's right... latin). I've gone through and planned out the flow of the lessons and what pages will be on what days. In addition, I have some lessons I plan on my own (literature, religion, art, and science), which takes a good deal of time to plan. Then Tim plans out the music lessons. Seeing as we typically start our school year in early July and spread it out over 10 months (breaks every six weeks), I like to start my planning in the spring to have time to get ready for the new school year. I really like how the new year is shaping up. For literature we will be reading classic literature from the time period covered in her history in the form of chapter books adapted for elementary age readers. She will be reading Robinson Crusoe, The Three Musketeers, Alice in Wonderland, and many other wonderful books. The Latin lessons are very basic and not too onerous. I think I have discovered a way to balance out her spelling, grammar, and writing lessons so that they aren't all heaped on top of each other, but instead spread out a little bit more. She also gets to learn some chemistry in the coming year and kitchen/backyard science experiments are way cool.

As for the Adrenaline Junkie, she will be continuing Kindergarten until she gets a little better with the reading, writing and math. She actually can read a decent amount when she tries, she just doesn't like to do it. She loves writing, she just isn't very consistent with her letter formation. She is getting better and doesn't write her letters and numbers backwards as much as she used to. She also doesn't like to sound out words while spelling. It's the same issue as reading. With consistent practice she will get more comfortable with it. The biggest challenge with her is slowing down her overly active body and brain to be able to think through a complete thought at a time. If any of my kids is a kinetic learner, she is probably it. That means I need to be a little more creative in how to approach her lessons. That is something else I need to put into a lesson plan.

The Happy Boy is all about play. But his schoolwork will be art (drawing and writing practice in disquise), having books read to him and when he is ready, phonics (he is already wanting to sound out some of Hop on Pop).

Changing topic again: We planted a spring garden last weekend. This year we are doing snow peas, cabbage, radishes, carrots, lettuce, spinach and cantaloupe. I'm going to try to stagger plantings for a more prolonged harvest. The kids also planted some flower seeds. Tim replanted our strawberry patch, too. Too early to say how it is going, but we are watering every day. The kids love that part.

My craft binge has slowed down tremendously the last few weeks. Partly because of all of the previous items in this update. I am still working on a needlepoint and a quilt. I'm just taking my time. I've been very tired. Even though the weather has turned nice again, I haven't wanted to go for walks much either. I let the kids play in the backyard for exercise (keeping track of them and checking the garden is my exercise). I've also been very, very hungry. Tim keeps telling me that he's eating better these days. I've been spending more time thinking about and cooking food. These are some clues for you. This type of behavior is not normal for me. I usually like to get out for walks in nice weather. I usually couldn't care much about food as long as I'm fed three times a day. I usually hate cooking. What has gotten into me lately?

....

If you haven't guessed yet, I'm pregnant. Yep. That's another one of those big things that is happening lately. If you have followed mine or my husband's blogs over the last year, you know that this is momentous for us and a little scary. Having a baby die not quite a year ago, we know that so many things can go wrong. But, we would rather hope than live in fear. So if you can spare a prayer for us on this journey, it is much appreciated. I am still in the first trimester. My first doctor's appointment to check the baby is going to be at the end of next week. We are a bit nervous to say the least.

So that is the latest news from our family. I think I did manage to give an update on all of the main things without making the post too horribly long. Life is sure to stay interesting for a while. I'm sure I'll have more to post soon.

Life continues to change

2010-02-17T21:24:00.000-08:00

I have been pondering lately how things have changed. I like to do that every so often so that I don't just let life pass by without notice. Birthday season has just ended for our kids and I've been noticing that having a 7 year old, a 5 year old and a 3 year old is different than what we have experienced before. The Pillowfight Fairy (age 7) is acting like a second grader in her love of silly and gross things. She also has been showing a lot of teenagerish angst. This of course makes me wonder what is in store for the future.

The Adrenaline Junkie (age 5) is making the preschooler to kindergartener transition. She is becoming slightly more aware of what's going on around her and she finds it upsetting. No longer does she see her brother running away from her and think: "oooh... a game of chase!" No, now she starts wailing and crying that she's going to lose her brother. Instead of enjoying the Fantasia 2000 video like she used to, she cries for a half hour over what would happen to Donald Duck if he didn't get on the ark. Our older one went through a similarly emotional transition. But, I try to take it in stride and see it as part of her development as she grows older and gains maturity. The constant tears are annoying, but it shows that she is starting to make connections and think more deeply than she previously did. I suspect this means that we will probably be able to make more progress with her schooling in the coming year. Ironically, I was an extremely emotional child growing up and found that my tendency to give in to tears constantly, hurt me in the long run. As a result I don't have much sympathy with the constant crying and whining.

The Happy Boy (age 3) is not a toddler anymore. He is acting more like a big kid. He enjoys many of the same things that his sisters enjoy. They even play well together on occasion. One of his biggest strengths and also one of his biggest weaknesses is that he is more self-sufficient than his sisters at that age. In other words, he will do what he can for himself, instead of asking for help. While a good thing in general, sometimes problems would be prevented if he would simply ask for help.

It feels a little odd not having a baby or toddler anymore. We do miss having a tiny little child in the family, but they sure are a lot of work. I understand why people stop after having only one or two kids. As the kids get older, the physical labor I was doing gets easier. Two of my kids can mostly dress themselves, are potty trained and can take their dishes to the kitchen when they are through with them. I see that as a tremendous help in my work load. My youngest enjoys helping me bring in the groceries and sorting the laundry. I can tell you, that I look forward to the day when I've taught the kids to cook and to clean the house effectively. A shared load is so much easier to bear.

Of course with older kids come the more complicated problems. Relationship issues, hormones, power struggles, mind games, are some of the things I am not looking forward to. As with all things you lay the foundations of the later lessons while they are still small. So I keep trying to teach them how to treat people with respect and kindness. Though I sometimes think just teaching good table manners and that not every activity is a competition is far harder than I imagined.

When my parents used to complain that I was stubborn, I would respond that I came by it honestly from both sides of the family. Sigh.... I suspect Tim and I will hear and see a lot of ourselves echoed in our children in the coming years.

Hi...we are still here!

2010-01-15T22:01:00.000-08:00

I know it has been a while since my last post. I considered posting several times, but hesitated since I hadn't finished the dresses of which I promised pictures. I still don't have pictures of the dresses, although they are finished now. Instead, I treat you to a picture of our December snowfall. A friend of ours (who is in her thirties) and grew up in the area said that it hadn't snowed here before in her lifetime.

It was mostly melted by the afternoon.

So what have we been up to all this time that Tim and I haven't been posting on our blogs? Well I'll try and list them briefly:

Homeschooling. It does take a good deal of time and effort. I have shed most of my "stay-at-home Mom" way of thinking. I am a working Mom. I just do most of my work at home. Now if I can get the kids to realize that schoolwork is not supposed to be an interruption to their lives but an integral part of it half of the conflicts we have would be done.
Christmas. We celebrated. We visited. Tim and the girls were in the Christmas play. Christmas is not a happy time for me. I have trouble indulging others' desires to recreate childhood fantasies for themselves. My personal view of it is that the holiday should mirror the priorities of the person we celebrate. I am not aware of anyone else around me who agrees to the point of going counter-culture on this. So I manage the best I can with it. Given this quirky opinion of mine and the fact that Christmas has had several losses, emergencies, and sicknesses associated with it in my mind from events in my past, I have found that the less I join in the general joviality, the more contented and at peace I am.
Birthdays. From October until February is Birthday season for our kids. We eat way too many sweets. Our kids get family parties and other special treats if we can manage it. The Pillowfight Fairy got a trip to a ballet performance. The Adrenaline Junkie got time to play with friends. The Happy Boy's birthday is yet to come.
Tim's been doing Chainmaille jewelry lately (for Christmas presents). He is also considering plans for an outfit for the Pillowfight Fairy.
I've been on a craft binge. I have completed one cross-stitch project and started another. I have crocheted a shawl for myself and a blanket for our sofa. I finished sewing Fancy dresses for the girls. Currently I am only working on a cross-stitch but I'm itching to pick up a new crochet project or start a quilt. I have promised a quilt to a family member in the next year, but it is not quite time to start it. So I'm tempted to start up one of the quilts I planned a few years back but never got to. I also want to improve my crochet skills to the point that I am comfortable in making clothing (something more complicated than flat fabric). I have been delaying these craft urges lately for the simple reason that keeping the finances updated is important and taxes will need filing rather soon. There is only so much time in a day after all.
Tim is in play rehearsals. He auditioned and was cast as the Mikado in our local theater group's production of the same name. Here is the company website for anyone interested. Needless to say that makes our schedule quite a bit more full than usual.

I think that covers most of it. For those homeschoolers or family members who like updates on how our schooling has been going, here is an update. We hit our halfway point a week after Thanksgiving. We currently have about 14 more weeks worth of work to go. I am well satisfied with the Pillowfight Fairy's Progress. The Adrenaline Junkie is proving to me that she is not ready for first grade next year. She has not settled down enough to progress in her reading and math as I had hoped. She is a full year young as far as the public schools are concerned. However her sister was ready at that age and the Adrenaline Junkie seemed to be at a similar point. Their interests are different and I'm convinced that the Adrenaline Junkie has her brain wired differently than her sister. In fact she reminds me a lot of myself in my early years. I had a lot of focus issues and was no better than an average student until I developed some focus and self-motivation. Probably today I would have been labeled ADD. Yet somehow I managed to move from unfocused and mediocre to focused and a good student. I am sure we can help our cute little Tom Boy Princess get to where she needs to be. In the meantime, I've slowed her lessons down. It took a while to figure out how to work with the Pillowfight Fairy. I'm sure the Adrenaline Junkie needs similar time and patience for us to figure out what works with her. I will probably have my patience tried by a child just like me. I already knew the Fairy was a lot like her father, so I suppose it is only fair.

A Quick Update without pictures

2009-10-13T22:23:00.000-07:00

I know I promised pictures about the outfits I've been making, but I haven't finished one of them and I only want to take Halloween costume pictures once, so expect pictures around Halloween.

I have completed the Tiger costume for the Pillowfight Fairy. I'm still in the fabric cutting stage with the Adrenaline Junkie's fancy dress (It's a lot of fabric and I can't do it safely and sanely when the kids are awake, so I wait until I'm in the mood in the evenings... I haven't been in the mood tonight so you get an update instead).

We just came off a week's vacation from school. I find these vacations every six weeks to very good for us to relax and remember that we like to do other things too. I also find that the first few days back to school are horrible. The Fairy manage to drag her heels worse than usual the first day back and as a result we both had a really bad day back. A wise man I once knew had a saying that grated on the nerves: "There are no bad days, only bad attitudes." The older I get the more I understand why that saying bothers most people. It is because it is true and we know it, we just want the comforting thought that the quality of my day is out of my control, so I can blame someone other than myself. So with that in mind, I will rephrase my statement, we both had really bad attitudes by the time the day was over.

Sometimes I wonder if the joy of the vacation can make up for the first day back at school. Fortunately, I see improvement in just a few days as we get back into a routine. I know my kids. They like the freedom they get with vacations, and therefore want it to continue. When discipline returns, they fight it like it is the enemy. However, I can soon tell that they are actually happier with a disciplined life. In the disciplined life they know what to expect. In the disciplined life they do a variety of things and get things accomplished. That feels good. On vacation they get to watch more and longer videos. On vacation they get to play computer games. On vacation they get to do so much more of their favorite things. They also seem to get bogged down in making choices among all the fun things they could do. They find it suddenly appealing to read whole books for fun, when they used to complain about being asked to read a paragraph of schoolwork. They write stories for half the day when they usually complain "how many sentences? That's too many!" I'm amused at how much school they incorporate into play when they no longer feel the daily school pressure. So if they love it when we aren't doing school, I suppose the question is why don't we follow the "unschooling" approach. Basically, It's because we know our kids. They only love the stuff they already know. They hate with a passion anything they still have to learn because it is a) unknown, b) harder than what they are used to, c) they aren't good at it yet, d) they would rather have an easy, ignorant life, and e) all of the above. Our kids are pretty lazy when left to their own devices. I would love for my kids to be willing, eager, self-learners. However, that requires self-discipline. Self-discipline comes with self-control and an awareness of the different outcomes resulting from disciplined behavior and undisciplined behavior.

During our school times, I provide discipline to accomplish the schoolwork to help our kids improve their skills. When they cooperate, things go smoothly and they make rapid progress. When they don't cooperate, they don't make progress and the monotony of Mommy telling her child to get back to her work is an annoying, repetative drone. One day I was so fed up with the distractableness of my daughter that I stopped nagging and simply told her that I would make a tally mark for everytime I saw her distracted from her work. When she was done, she would have additional work in writing sentences for every tally mark on my sheet. It was amazing how focused she was after that. That particular day she only had to write two extra sentences. One of which was because she stopped her work at one point to ask me if I had done a tally mark. My goal is that I provide the discipline until they are mature enough to choose to discipline themselves. I also have to provide them with opportunities to see both sides of the choice, so that they understand the results of the choice. So we will continue to have school weeks and holiday weeks, even though the transition can be bumpy.

As of this last holiday, we are a third of the way through our school year. Our half-way point comes at Thanksgiving. This is a perfect time to stop and evaluate how things are going. The Fairy has been reading real chapter books from the library. They are short, but they have real chapters in the story, not chapters that could be stand alone stories. So far I've managed to find two at the library she really loved. The first was about a Llama named Harley. The second was a book titled "Birthday Pony." Both were stories from the real world not a make believe world. I am very pleased that she has been enjoying these. She has completed her lessons in cursive writing. From here on out we will be practicing what she knows. Three days a week I will be having her write her assignments in cursive. Two days a week she will be doing assignments in print. I am doing this so that she gets continued practice at both methods for a while. She is still a new enough writer, that I don't want her to lose one method so early on. She has been enjoying her science lessons. We have been concentrating on weather in the last six weeks. We will move on to studying how natural forces effect people around the world for our next segment of lessons. Her least favorite subject is math although she is actually very good at it. She doesn't like the repetition, but she needs it to really solidify her understanding.

As we begin a new six-week segment of lessons, I try to challenge her a little more. I'm being more of a stickler for proper capitalization and neatness of writing (before I would let her get away with writing her name in all capitals). As previously mentioned, I am alternating days for cursive and print use to give practice in each. I am adding an additional sentence to her written narrations. She now must write seven sentences to tell me about what we have read. I have noticed that her retelling abilities have improved with the added sentences. Last year when she was writing only three or four sentences at a time they were very disjointed. With six and seven sentences she actually has enough space to tell more of the story, so she does a better job. I can also say that 1001 Arabian Nights is a hit in the literature category. The book we have chosen for this is by Geraldine McCaughrean. It seems to be a good version that keeps the stories appropriate for kids while still keeping them interesting. She has also enjoyed some Norse myths as well as some Chinese, Japanese and Korean folktales. Stories and Art seem to appeal to her a lot as well as Science (where she is learning about real stuff). So I am trying to keep those elements strong in our lessons.

The Adrenaline Junkie is mostly enjoying her school work. She has a lot less to do. She is reading better, but she still complains about having to sound out words. She wants to read effortlessly, but to get there she has to do the work of sounding out now. Four-year olds don't understand these things. She also wants to spell. I force myself to be patient when she keeps asking me how to spell words. Her spelling really is supplementing her reading skills and is helping her understand that words are spelled the same way every time. It also helps her be more familiar with some of the words she likes to use. I am still taking it a little slower with her than I did with her sister. It isn't so much a difference in ability as it is a difference in interest and focus. The Junkie looks at the world differently than her sister. She just has more priority on relationships and less of a priority on knowledge. I have seen evidence that if the Junkie applied herself, she could do better work than the Fairy did at the same age level. But the Adrenaline Junkie is a very active whirlwind of a girl. It is hard for her to sit still very long. In fact, she and the 2.5 year old Happy Boy live life at about the same speed (hurtling through space as fast as their little bodies can carry them). I'm not going to be too quick to try to advance the Adrenaline Junkie until she has gotten better with her reading and writing. She still thinks a lot like a preschooler. The switch in her brain that makes her think like an older kid hasn't happened yet. Until that happens, It would be folly to try to take on a full day school schedule.

So what have we be up to besides school? Flu shots, Dentist appointments, taking walks, household chores and shopping trips. I've been grinding grain with my mill and baking homemade wheat bread. I also experimented with millet. I've come to the conclusion that Millet bread is a lot like corn bread and can be used in many of the same ways. I've been cleaning up some of the toy areas and weeded out a few items to be given away as well as brought out a few things our youngest is old enough for now. Besides my sewing project in progress, I started a small needlepoint that is going quickly. The Fairy is knitting scarves in hopes of selling a few for spending money. The Junkie is begging me to teach her to sew. I have a whole lot of craft project ideas lined up in my mind. The big one being quilting again. It's just about time to teach the oldest of my girls how to do hand sewing. Hand sewing patchwork sampler blocks would be perfect to teach her. Then maybe next year sometime (if not later depending on how fast she sews) we can start basic machine sewing.

This is my rough outline for how to teach a child to sew:

Lacing cards used to practice a running stitch, a whip stitch and a blanket stitch.
Teach plastic canvas needlepoint half-cross stitch projects.
Teach hand sewing using patchwork projects and any small crafts that come up and interest the child.
Teach basic machine sewing using simple projects (such as putting patchwork into a quilt).
Teach basic sewing procedures by sewing from a pattern (stuffed animal, simple article of clothing, etc.)
Try harder projects little by little until child has developed desired level of mastery.
Child becomes self-taught and self-directed in sewing projects (or any other craft projects for that matter)

That is what I plan to try anyway. I also plan to teach both the girls and the boy to sew. I think their Daddy plans to teach them all to do wood working and any other interesting creative and building skills we can thinking of.

Ok, so this wasn't all that quick. But it was an update. I hope you enjoyed it.

Progress... A Little Bit Every Day

2009-09-10T22:45:00.000-07:00

I had a victory today. I finally finished the Pillowfight Fairy's fancy dress that I promised her back in May. She will probably be very overdressed for church someday soon. She will probably attend the ballet in the fancy dress too. As a result of this victory, I now have a conundrum. Do I immediately start making the Adrenaline Junkie's fancy dress, or do I take a break to make Halloween costumes. I'm leaning toward the Halloween costumes. One reason for this is that I'm sick of sewing fancy clothes (oh!...those gathers!...yards and yards of gathered netting...gathered ruffles...gathered skirts...uuuugh!). Another is that I suspect I'm running out of steam with the sewing projects, so I'd better get costumes done while I can.

I also noticed with surprise today that as of this Friday we are a quarter of the way through our school year. What with everyone else just starting their school year, I forgot that I've already been at it for nine out of 36 weeks. It wasn't until I noticed the Math lesson number that I realized that we had made that much progress. It is very true that progress is made one little bit at a time, not usually in leaps and bounds. I was so focused on the daily aspect of school that I forgot to look up as see where we were.

So where are we? Glad you asked. I made some good estimates on what the Pillowfight Fairy's schedule should be for this year. We are on schedule and trying to maintain the balance between challenging her and not overloading her. As for the Adrenaline Junkie, I'm still figuring her out. As noted in earlier posts, some of her lessons were getting too advanced for her so I slowed things down a bit. We are taking it at a little slower pace than I originally planned. But that's OK. We have room for adjustment in the schedule. But, at the slower pace, she still gets needed practice and I can be sure that she is really learning her subjects. She won't be five until December and still has the preschool wigglies. She is different enough from her sister that I can't predict how far along she will be for next year yet. So far her favorite subject is Math. She seems to have a love/hate relationship with reading and writing. She wants to read and write, but doesn't like the work it takes to learn it. While the Fairy is a perfectionist, the Junkie is more of a free spirit. She doesn't care about making her letters and numbers the same way every time and it causes her problems with her writing. She may start a letter at the top one time, the bottom the next time, backwards the third. I'm trying to be patient and not get angry when she writes a sentence completely backwards (both in the letters and from right to left) because she also spelled everything correctly and was consistent in her execution. I still have to correct her of course, but I try to be gentle. She is getting more comfortable with sounding out words and will spell words phonetically on her own. As her pseudonym suggests she is a very active little girl. She has trouble sitting still for very long. Fortunately she doesn't have to. Thankfully she and her younger brother, The Happy Boy, are able to play together a lot better now.

The Happy Boy is growing and changing too. I'm having a hard time remembering that he is not yet three. He is acting older and can do so much. Lately he has been fascinated by doing simple jigsaw puzzles (24 pieces) and he is getting better at figuring out where to put the pieces himself. He still loves to be read to and I've noticed him speaking more understandably lately.

----

Well, I just had a conversation with my husband about Halloween costumes. It looks like the costumes will come before the other fancy dress. The reason being that not only does the Fairy want to be a tiger this year, but my husband is making an elvish princess chain maille outfit for the Junkie which will need a special under-dress made for it. So, I guess I'll be visiting stores soon to make these new items.

I will try to get a picture of the fancy dress posted soon. My husband will probably do a post on his latest chain maille endeavor when it is finished. It is pretty fancy itself. I think it falls more in the category of full body jewelry rather than armor.

The Frustration Inherent in Doing Things Differently

2009-08-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

It hit me today that one of the things that I am doing with my kids is not the standard way of doing it. Now, that should not be a complete surprise. "Normal" is not what I'm aiming for so I shouldn't be too surprised when I miss it. The thing that I have been doing is teaching basic phonics and reading at the same time as teaching spelling.

I was getting frustrated with how the spelling curricula I'm using is not well matched to my daughter's level and how it was not as well designed along a phonics method as I would like. We are using Spelling Workout from Modern Curriculum Press. It fit well with my oldest daughter, so I thought I would give it a try for our second daughter. But, our second daughter is in a slightly different situation. Our oldest daughter was starting to read at 3 1/2 years and by 4 1/2 years was a confident young reader. Our second daughter has all the phonics basics in her head, she just didn't have interest in reading until recently. She is now 4 1/2 and begining to work through the sounding out phase of early reading. The older daughter was able to read her Kindergarten spelling lessons without much help and it seemed easy. The second daughter has just as much desire to learn to write words as to read them, so I thought the spelling lessons would be helpful in reinforcing the reading and phonics.

But, this time around I am more sensitive to the irregularities in lesson progress. The first Spelling Workout level (A) is geared for a first grader. A first grader is more likely to be further along in reading and spelling abilities. Although the book starts out simpler than the Adrenaline Junkie needed, it quickly became very challenging for her. I was also taking it at a faster pace than it was designed for. I'm having to break up the lessons in half and take only half a lesson per day. I suspect that the lessons were meant to be covered in a week. As a result we are already a little past the halfway point in the book and it is expecting half a year's growth to have taken place when we have only been doing the lessons for five weeks. Am I pushing too hard? Maybe, but that doesn't change the fact that she is still able to complete the lessons and I am seeing her make progress. I just have to be right there to read the lesson to her (the parts she is unable to do herself) and encourage her to sound out the actual spelling words and practice writing the actual spelling words. I am also having to teach her how to take each excercise and step by step talk her through it. I find it frustrating that she is unable to do the reading sections on her own yet, mainly because the reading sections mix more advanced words with the current spelling words. They even throw in a few spelling words that are harder than the most common phonetic form that they are highlighting (long o sound includes the harder "toe" and "road" and "fold" as opposed to the simpler "home"). It makes me wonder if there is a better fit out there for my second daughter's ability level.

So I spent a little bit of time today websearching results on "phonics" and "spelling." I've come to realize that most spelling programs follow some kind of phonics approach, but they are not geared to the level of a four year old who is needing phonics spelling practice at the same time that she is learning to read. I looked at a few that looked promising at first, but at closer inspection had similar issues as the ones I was dealing with. Either the teaching method was geared to an older child or the material was mixed with more advanced words than the current lesson addressed or the material took the lessons at such a slow pace that she would become bored with them and tune out. Within a month she has figured out the differences between long and short vowel sounds, why would I limit her to learning only short vowel sounds for an entire year?

I think one of my foundation issues in all of this is that I don't wait to teach a topic when everyone else teaches it. I teach it when it appears that my child is ready to learn it. So far my two oldest children were ready to learn reading and writing before their public school peers are traditionally introduced to it. They are learning the topic before they can understand some of the teaching exercises used in the prepackaged curricula (For instance unscrambling letters may be a fun exercise for a first or second grader, but incomprehensible to a four year old just sounding out her words). Sometimes the material is inappropriate age-wise or brain-maturity-wise, but would otherwise be covering what they are ready to learn.

If anyone out there knows of some curricula that would work for a four year old who wants to be able to spell and write as well as read, please let me know. I would love to find something that would be a good fit for her. Otherwise, I'm beginning to think that I may just have to figure out my own home-made lessons for her. I already use the old MacGuffey Primer for teaching her to read. She likes the pictures and stories. I like how it only uses words that have already been introduced in the prior lessons or the current lesson. I also have a Blue Back Speller and considered using that this year. I couldn't figure out how to use the syllabary in a day to day fashion for learning to read. Maybe I should take another look to see if it would work better for what my daughter needs. It is designed to be used to teach spelling after all.

I don't really want to create my own lessons. I'm doing that enough already with art, religion, and literature for my oldest child. It would be nice to get on track with something that I knew what comes next once we go from point A to point B. I also suspect that my son who is still only two will be ready early too. So this problem will undoubtably come up again with some new twist that is unique to him. I just get tired of hitting road blocks when I'm trying to find something to make my life easier. Silly me... homeschooling isn't about easier. It can be about tailored lessons; it can be about relationship-building; it can be about focused training; it can be about flexibility. I wanted my kids to be challenged in their educations. As a result, I find I have to participate in the challenges too... like working through frustrating curriculum mismatches.

Slowing Down With My Ambitions

2009-07-30T22:23:00.000-07:00

A few posts back, I talked about all of my ambitious plans. Well... the weather has been hot and we are back in school so I find myself slowing down on my projects.

I used to love summer... back when I was a kid... when I lived somewhere where you didn't need air conditioning for most of the year. My parents still live there. Only about two weeks every year is it hot enough to wish that you had air conditioning, then it cools down to reasonable levels again and you find you can make do with a box fan just fine. Where we live now in the Sacramento area, it gets beastly hot during much of the summer. Even this year which has been milder than usual, it has been over a hundred plenty. Even though we have air conditioning here, the house still radiates the heat after dark and I feel wilty.

As for the schoolwork, it has been going fairly well. I have managed to get two girls to do their work all month, with only one day off to play with cousins. Even so, schoolwork takes up the majority of the day. When I'm not activity working with one child, another needs attention, housework needs to be done, life goes on. It still surprises me how much time work takes up. Intellectually I understand that since I am homeschooling my kids that I am effectively a "Working Mom". I have a full day's work beyond the general homemaker tasks. Emotionally, however, I still think that my time is my own since I'm my own boss and I have flexible hours. Reality is that being one's own boss means that you have to be the disciplined one and flexible hours means that if plan A falls through, use that flexibility to make a plan B. I find myself bouncing between overworking myself and goofing off when the kids go to bed. As a result my extra projects have slowed down and I tend to save some jobs for school holiday weeks. We've been doing school for four weeks that means I have only two more weeks before our first school break. I have a huge list of things I want to get done in that week. But anyway, what kind of progress have I made so far on my ambitious plans?

1. reclaiming the garden: We did put in drip irrigation but, we still are having a bad garden year. I harvested the few remaining carrots and one miniature cabbage. We still have the peppers, garlic, tomatoes, corn and beans growning. But, weeds are still a problem (they like the heat and I don't). Of the remaining veggies the corn and tomatoes are doing the best (though the corn is spindly and small). Our fruit trees have been doing well. Though we are thinking we need to take out our pear trees (they keep getting hit by blight).

2. We still need to frame our final remaining picture of baby E.

3. I have made good progress at putting away baby things. Very few things are still out.

4. The Fairy's fancy dress in still in production. I'm down to getting the skirt attached and final details. It isn't as much fun as when I started the project, so I'm having to force myself to work on it. It needs to be done soon, she just had another growth spurt. I'm a whole month behind since I planned to be finishing up the Junkie's dress this month.

5. I did clear off some space for the current school year's books.

6. I have cleared up a kitchen counter pretty well, but it is in constant danger of being inundated again. I know what I want to store in my plastic bag cabinet, so now I just need to find a way to make it happen (in a easy to work with manner).

7. I didn't put it on my previous list of ambitions, but we have been wanting to redo our garage. Someday we would like our garage to have the walls and ceiling finished with drywall and have appropriate storage and electrical outlets for our preferred uses for it. In preparation for this I inventoried our haphazardly piled garage stuff and put like things together. I also discovered things that we don't want which can be tossed or given away as appropriate. The next step in the process will be to dismantle a really awkward work bench that we don't want and which gets in the way of using a big chunk of wall for storage of tools. After rearranging things, it looks almost civilized in there.

I haven't gotten everything done, but I haven't given up yet. At least with a big to do list, I can work on whatever fits my convenience the best at the moment. I am trying to not add too many other new projects on until I finish a few more that I already have. I have lots of ideas waiting around in my head though.

Dress update and the first day of school

2009-07-06T22:31:00.001-07:00

I mentioned that I was going to post pictures of the completed dresses I made for the girls. The matching summer dresses were completed at the end of May. Here's a picture:

I think they turned out well.

The fancy dresses are still in progress. I am in the middle of constructing The Pillowfight Fairy's fancy dress. If I worked on it faithfully every night it would be done by now. But, I am not up to working on it every night.

We also just had our first day of school for the new school year. What? Early you say? What better time to be indoors than during a Sacramento summer. I'm pleased to say that it went well. The lessons went quickly. The kids were happy to be doing school again. They had structure and purpose in their lives again. As a reminder this is the first year that I am doing two kids in a structured format, with the toddler as the wild card. The Fairy is starting second grade and the Adrenaline Junkie is starting Kindergarten. The lessons were mostly review for the Fairy today. They were more challenging for the Junkie, but not too difficult of a stretch. The Junkie got plenty of play time (often with her little brother) to get out her wiggles. The Happy Boy managed OK too. He did try to get me to turn on the computer for a video or a game, but could be convinced to play with other things instead. He and his sister spent a good thirty to forty-five minutes going back and forth between the kitchen and dining room while opening and closing the sliding door in between while pretending they were characters from Bugs Life. They did make a tremendous mess of play food on the kitchen floor supplemented by a dozen board books and a toy alligator. But they also were able to clean up the mess without help. About an hour later I did discover a half-eaten nectarine on the floor of the kitchen. But these days, that is a blessedly small mess compared to what the Happy Boy is capable of. He is getting tall enough to reach things on the counter tops and has snacking tendencies. On the whole I am pleased with the day and hope we have many more that go as well.

For those wondering about when my husband is going to update his blog, I have no idea. He just got a new shipment of rings and has started making a chain maille outfit for the Adrenaline Junkie. He loves his new hobby. So your guess is as good as mine.

We seem to be in a crafty mood lately. He makes chain maille. I make dresses and am planning some crocheted shawls to go with said dresses. The Pillowfight Fairy has been knitting a scarf (hopefully the first of many) which she hopes to sell close to Christmas for extra money. No special craft for the Junkie yet (though I am contemplating fulfilling a promise to make a toy "church mouse" and getting her to help). The Happy Boy has obsessions too. He likes to put foam letter stickers on paper in mostly straight even lines. He can easily do this for an hour a day (or until his two year old body has to wiggle out of his seat and go running around the house in circles).

With all of our idiosyncrasies I think I am losing track of whether our daily life is amazingly dull and boring or odd and exciting. Or maybe we are oddly boring or dully exciting. I can't actually say that I've ever been normal, but I think our family is continuing to be different but in many ways that are different for us. Does that make any sense? Well, at any rate, we are managing to maintain routine life while adding in a little variety. And yes chaos is still alive and well in our household and I am still working on finding order in the midst of it.

When News Hits Close To Home

2009-06-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

I couldn't help noticing this story recently. It is a story about a woman who blogged about having a terminally ill baby. What do you know, we had a terminally ill baby. When I read more, she claimed that the baby was a trisomy 13 baby. We had a trisomy 13 baby. She claimed that her Christian faith kept her from aborting the child, but to carry it to term. We made the same decision. Lots of people followed her blog and sent her encouragement... same here. The key difference was that she perpetrated a hoax... it was all a lie. Our story was true. Many people are upset with her. Some want her to be prosecuted, but there isn't really any way to do that. She apparently did it to work through some issues that she did actually have in her life. The article states:

In her apology, Beushausen said she began writing the story as therapy but became addicted to the attention it generated. She said she lied "to a community of people whose only intention was to support me through this time and that is wrong, and for that I am sorrier than you could know."

I saw references to this story several times, and the angle seems to be that lying on the internet is just wrong and should be treated as a heinous crime. I would like to say for the record that whether or not lying is a crime it is still wrong. But people have lied for various reasons throughout history. As a librarian, I have always been amazed that people seem to understand someone lying verbally, but they are aghast if it happens in print. Somehow they believe that newspapers only print truth. Book publishers only print truth. The Internet only prints truth. Hello out there! There is not some magical process that prevents lies from entering print media. You have to evaluate truth or falsehood the same way every time. Consider the source and how reliable it is. If you don't know the source, you can't tell how reliable it is. If you follow a blog site for a long time, you may get a better feel for its veracity. Is it backed up by supporting facts? If the story is a very personal one, it is harder to tell.

I also wondered how many people would start second guessing our story since it sounds so similar.

But I am getting off the topic that I really wanted to pursue here. All of that is dealing with the issue of lying to the public. I really wanted to deal with the object of temptation. Before I saw that story, I had already noticed that there was a temptation to people who go through tough issues like we did. Until you are in that situation you may not realize it. And if you are in that situation you may give in to the temptation before you realize it is there. The temptation is to take undue advantage of people's good will to you. Let me take you down the road with me for a while and maybe I can show you what it is like.

When I first got a call from the hospital that they noticed something unusual in our ultrasound, I was proud of myself for having the presence of mind to sit down while they described what they found and why they needed to have a more detailed ultrasound to determine more fully what the situation was. I told Tim what they told me and we were very concerned. We knew that something bad was likely happening, but we knew nothing more than that and we started telling people that we needed prayers.

At our appointment for the second ultrasound, they described the concerns they had based on the first ultrasound and then we had the second one. The pictures were much better and they confirmed the problem. As another avenue of information, we decided to have an amniocentesis done that day, which did confirm trisomy 13. We were shell shocked at the time. We sought information hungrily. I felt like I was moving through a haze going through life and our kids kept pulling me out of this hazy world of seriousness into the present where I still needed to play with them and feed them and love on them. I still had to prepare for Christmas. We shared with everyone our news so that they could pray with a little more information. As a result we were inundated with prayers, concern, love, and good wishes.

The fact that we still had to get on with our lives helped and so did all of the attention people were showing us. I am sure the prayers we didn't even know about helped too. During this early time period we had to make basic decisions like continuing the pregnancy. This is the time when I did most of my mourning for our daughter. Because of the discomfort of the pregnancy, I often found myself awake in the wee hours of the morning. That is the worst time for a troubled person... everything seems bleaker then. It was also the time when we were first public about our trouble and had people coming up to us to find out what was happening. We frequently had people telling us how heart-broken they were for us. They kept asking us how we were doing, asking how we could possibly be managing through it all, and volunteering to help in any way.

Before long we had people telling us how amazing we are and how strong we are. Not all that long ago I had someone I barely know tell me "you're a good christian woman" (out of the blue, as we passed each other, with no other context). Not only do I not really know what she meant by that, both Tim and I are puzzled by these things.

Now we would like to think that we are all the nice things that people are saying to us. However, from our perspective we are simply trying to do the best we can and didn't have a whole lot of choice in dealing with the diagnosis of a trisomy 13 baby. Yes, we did have to make a few choices along the way, but that doesn't change the fact that it had to be dealt with one way or another. We were getting a lot of attention. People were being very good to us. People were making us dinners nearly two months after our baby died. When my doctor asked me (over and over again) how I was managing, he was impressed by the support we were getting.

Do you start to see where the temptation comes in? First you get lots of attention. Then people start saying really impressive things to you and about you. People decide to put their desire to help into action and you get physical help in one way or another. Before you know it, you get kind of used to getting the attention. Then you start getting a big head over how wonderful people say you are. Then you start to receive physical benefits from people who are showing you their love for you. That can be addictive. Apparently that was what happened to the woman in the news story.

Now the reaction to this woman who lied seems to be that people are feeling that their good actions were given to the wrong person, who benefited from it and they feel burned. I want to say that just because someone committed a hoax, should not keep people from doing good things. But I will say that people in the real situation do have a temptation to take undue advantage. So, I will also say to those doing the good works for them, "don't be taken advantage of." I have seen someone wrap herself in what seemed to me to be a cloak holiness. She was frequently used as a motivational speaker who was guaranteed to make people cry as she would tell her story. I knew someone with a terminal illness that rubbed me the wrong way, when I saw her wanting to be treated extra special by everybody all the time. I saw a couple who seemed strong at the beginning when they lost a child, but who went through a very troubled time for many years after because the strength was more show than substance. In all of these cases, I had a little bit closer dealings with these people than a passing acquaintance so I saw a difference between public behavior and private behavior. I don't want that kind of thing to be part of my story.

I would rather people see me for who I am. I am not extra holy. I do not consider myself somehow stronger or especially blessed to handle trouble. I like to think that what we all face in life is common to man. The rain falls on both the godly and the ungodly after all. Instead of saying "why me?", I think the more appropriate question is "why not me?" So, all the extra special treatment felt a little odd to me. It was very helpful. It did do us some good. But I think it is appropriate for a season. It shouldn't become a lifestyle. At least it shouldn't be a lifestyle for the person receiving the special treatment. It is very appropriate for the person giving it as long as they spread it around to everyone.

I'm getting in that mood again...

2009-06-05T22:45:00.000-07:00

This blog is supposed to be about my war with chaos and how I keep trying to bring order to my world even though having three young kids works against my efforts. I must be feeling better lately, because I've been getting in the mood to start another assault on chaos. I've been noticing a large number of toys that aren't getting played with much and toys that are being out-grown. I've been trying to finish up some left over projects (though I did start new ones of sewing dresses). I'm trying to retake the garden from the weeds. Every time I turn around I see some area of the house that can use some heavy-duty organizing or simplification.

Maybe this mood is prompted by my renewed energy now that I am no longer pregnant and have made good progress in recovering from childbirth. Or maybe it is caused by my realization that if I'm going to start school with the kids in July, I only have this month to get some things done before I "go back to work" as it were. Whatever the cause, I have the itch to be productive. Here is a look at some of the things going on lately:

1. Reclaiming the garden. I've actually been working at this for a few weeks now. I've been trying to get out and weed the garden a few afternoons a week while the kids play outside after lunch. I don't always get a lot of time at it, since the Happy Boy has been wanting more attention from me lately. But I've pulled the weeds out of a few rows that were actually producing vegetables. Then I went to the plant nursery and the girls helped me pick out some vegetable plants to fill up the empty spaces. I've also been a little more regular in watering the garden. Perhaps we can get some drip irrigation put in to help with that soon. The plants that still survive the Spring planting are: cabbage, broccoli, carrots, and onion. We did have spinach and snow peas, but we finished those up already. We also have a clump of chives that came up from last year's garden (which never came up last year). The new vegetables are a cherry tomato plant, some pepper plants, some garlic and several stalks of corn. I also planted green beans in place of the snow peas.

2. I finished and framed my last needlepoint project. Now I just have to find a place to hang it. That will have to wait until we have framed a picture of Baby E. then we can find places for all our new framed pictures at the same time.

3. I have been putting away baby things that we plan to keep a while just in case we need them again. I have also been planning what things can be gotten rid of (like some baby toys) since the Happy Boy is outgrowing them. I'm hoping my umbrella strollers will hold out until I can trust him to walk with me obediently. With all of the walking we do, they are showing the wear.

4. I have made two summer dresses for the girls within the deadline I had for myself (sorry, no pictures available yet). Now I am starting the Pillowfight Fairy's fancy occasion dress. So far it is merely a bag of fabric and a cut out paper pattern. I will try to have it done by the end of the month so that I can spend July doing one for the Adrenaline Junkie.

5. To help free up some shelf space for the coming year's schoolwork, I bought a comb-binder machine to help me bind old schoolwork in preparation for storing it away in the garage. Unfortunately, with the Adrenaline Junkie starting school with me this year, we still need more space for books and binders. I'm still investigating what possibilities are left to us to solve the problem. Tim and I have already thinned out our books as far as we are comfortable with. I think I will just have to clear off the top of a filing cabinet we have in the living room and make that the designated school work stacking spot. It is either that or buy new bookshelves to replace some smaller ones currently in use.

6. I'm also thinking that some of our kitchen is not utilized properly. It would be nice to clear off some counter space and reorganize some of my cabinets for better storage. The kids' craft supplies shouldn't be in the kitchen. Neither should I have an entire cabinet for storing plastic grocery bags. Food preparation would be so much easier if I didn't have half my counter space covered with clutter. And one of these days I really ought to put up the curtains I bought for the kitchen (five years ago!).

So what do you think? Is it possible to get finished with all this before July? Maybe not all of it. But I hope to do most of it. I was slowed down a little this past week by sick kids (and me too). My biggest problem is putting too many things on my to do list. I haven't mentioned all of the other things that I dream about doing but don't think will get done any time soon. Ah... maybe I'm learning to be content with those things I can't change right now. It is hard to have contentment when you're trying to change the status quo.

I've finished the planning stage

2009-06-01T22:09:00.000-07:00

I am happy to announce that I have finished planning for the coming school year. This is a really big thing for me. To understand why, you need to understand what I mean by planning. For some people, a plan is a nebulous idea of something they might do sometime, somewhere in an undetermined place. That's not me. When I have finished planning something, it is complete and detailed.

Our new school year will start in July. The reasons for choosing this time are varied. First, we did it that way last year and it worked well. Second, the kids can only stand so much vacation until they get antsy for school (Really! They do! My oldest is already reading ahead in her new textbooks). Third, their grade levels change at our church in July. Fourth, Starting that early helps in scheduling our nearly year round school. The only catch in this schedule is that the Adrenaline Junkie will not immediately move up to Kindergarten in the church class although I will be doing Kindergarten with her at home. That change will take place when she is more able to sit and listen for more than a few minutes at a time. I can work around her wiggliness here at home, but I don't expect another teacher to do so with a full class of kids.

I've spent hours and hours over that last five months, planning the new school year (I got an early start since I knew I was expecting a baby and didn't want to do intensive planning right after giving birth.) The Pillowfight Fairy has a year that will be just as full as last year was and slightly more challenging. The Adrenaline Junkie will be starting some basics. How to juggle their lessons will probably be my biggest challenge this year (that and how to keep the Happy Boy from feeling left out).

The Adrenaline Junkie will be following a course of study that includes reading, writing, spelling, and mathematics. Her reading program will start with McGuffey's Eclectic Primer and continue with practice reading in a variety of books that we have or can get from the library. She has gone through a phonics program and knows how to sound out words, but she still considers it hard work and prefers to have people read to her. My goal is to get her to do enough practice of sounding out words that it becomes easier and therefore something she wants to do herself.

For writing lessons, I am going to try Handwriting without Tears. She is actually very good at forming letters that are readable. But she has some work to do at drawing her letters the same way every time with proper size and spacing. She actually does a better job on blank printer paper than she does on lined paper. She also has no consistency in method. Sometimes she writes left to right, sometimes she writes the letters and words backwards from right to left. She may start writing a letter at the top or bottom and never the same way twice. She doesn't follow a consistent pattern of writing curves in clockwise or counterclockwise directions. Maybe this is because she is more of a free spirit than her sister was, but she needs to learn consistency for her own ease of writing.

I am including spelling lessons because I find that they reinforce the writing and reading lessons. Besides... she is always asking me how to spell things that she wants to write. If she is wanting to spell words, she should be learning basic spelling. We will be using Spelling Workout.

For math, we will be using Horizons Math. This has worked well for our first daughter and we like the teaching method and pacing that it uses. It is also flexible with students with different learning styles. The Adrenaline Junkie gives the impression that math is not something that she thinks about. However, this is a deception. I have noticed in her play with her older sister, that she has shown a better understanding of simple math than I had expected. She also tends to have more of an engineering personality than the Fairy. I expect that her learning style will be different, but I think she can handle a challenging math curriculum.

Some of the curricula we plan to use, will finish relatively quickly in the school year, so we will continue reading, writing, and spelling practice in various ways through the rest of the year. I will need to space the Junkie's lessons out a bit during the day to give her time to run around and play.

The Pillowfight Fairy will be having the following subjects in her new school year: spelling, grammar, vocabulary, memory work, penmanship (cursive), mathematics, medieval literature, medieval history, Earth science (1st semester), astronomy (2nd semester), religion, art, and music. I am fully aware that this is a lot. However, the way it is arranged in her schedule, it really is manageable.

She will be doing spelling lessons four days a week. Grammar and vocabulary will be trading off days (three days grammar, two days vocabulary). Memory work will be a combination of memorization from other subject areas and her church memory verses. Penmanship will be five days a week to start and then adjust to three days a week as she completes the formal lessons and moves on to practical application. Math will be five days a week. Literature will no longer be daily (as done last year), but instead will be selected stories to match up with what she is studying in history and to be read concurrently with them. History will be three days a week. Science will be two days a week of readings and lessons combined with daily weather observations for earth science (nightly sky observations during the astronomy section). We will continue our Bible readings where we left off. According to my schedule we will pick up in the book of Numbers and finish in I Samuel (yes I did really read ahead and break up the readings into appropriate chunks). Her art lessons will be a combination of art technique (using Drawing for Young Artists), crafts to match her history lessons, and history-themed coloring books. Music lessons will be piano practice five days a week, a weekly piano lesson, and a weekly music theory lesson.

This is a challenging schedule, but it looks more daunting on a daily basis than it really is since she is such a quick learner. She is a good enough reader that I will be having her do most of her own reading rather than me reading to her. She will have plenty of opportunity to practice writing in various ways. She loves memorization of poems so I will have to make sure that she gets some of that as well as memorization of drier information. She is good at math and picks it up quickly, but she hates the math practice that is necessary to internalize it. She is very excited about her coming science lessons (especially the daily/nightly observations). Art is a favorite subject of hers, so I will try to incorporate it as much as possible in our lessons. She also loves music, but as with math, she doesn't like practice.

Beside having her read more of her own lessons, I want to have her narrate back her lessons to help her process the information to retain it better. For literature, history, science, and religion she will need to do some kind of narration. She needs to work more on doing verbal and written narrations. I am thinking of letting her have some choice in what kind of narration she will do. Of those four subjects I think it would be reasonable to have one of them verbal, and one of them written every day (her choice of subject). Any additional ones could be her choice of verbal, written, or artwork. With the schedule I have made, some days would have only two, some would have three. I don't think we would be doing any more than that during a day unless we were trying to play catch up after a sick day.

To make my life easier, I think that I can plan our days in such a way that I can have the two girls doing workbook work at the same time so that I could bounce between them instructing and guiding as needed. I can also probably do a reading lesson with the Junkie during the Fairy's Piano practice. I'm hoping that having the girls doing some of their lessons at the table together (even though they are different levels) will help them feel like they aren't having to do all the work alone. That was a bit of a problem this last year when the Fairy had trouble concentrating because her siblings were busy having fun while she was stuck with schoolwork. Also, whenever the Junkie wants to listen in or participate with the Fairy's other lessons, she can. She can listen to the stories, she can listen to the history lessons, she can do art and crafts, she can listen to the science lesson and learn about how to do weather observations. She wants to be a big kid so badly, listening in to the lessons can help her feel less left out.

The Happy Boy will be running amok, most likely. He will be doing his best to find ways to monopolize Mommy's attention. In addition, we will probably need to eliminate our current habit of watching a video after the Happy Boy's nap. As the kids get older, there are so many other things that they can do to fill that time more productively. That will also give us a little more flexibility in scheduling during the day. By the end of next school year, the Happy Boy will probably be giving up naps anyway.

So that is a summary of the plan. I have a folder that contains 46 pages of detailed lesson plans (including books and page numbers). I'll need to double check craft supplies and library books about every two weeks. Then I'll look over each day's plans the night before. This kind of planning isn't for everyone, but it works for me. I like being able to do all the work and decision making ahead of time. That way the actual accomplishment, is less stressful to me.

Another lesson learned and other rambling thoughts about life and death

2009-06-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

This time I'm talking about a lesson I have learned rather than one I've been teaching to my kids. After the death of our baby, we have been inundated with well-wishers and sympathizers. People have been very good to us. They've been feeding us and praying for us. This being the first time we have had a child die (and hopeful the last time), it is all new for us. I have encountered death before. But, those cases were more distant: acquaintances, former teachers, a baby niece, grandparents who had lived long and good lives, and first trimester miscarried children. Of those others, the grandparents hit me hardest. That was because I knew them longest and best. I have found that now when I grieve, I am no longer grieving just for one person. I am grieving for all of the losses I've known. I also have found that when I hear of another person's loss, I feel an echo of that in my heart. I'm hoping that in the future, I will be able to be as helpful and supportive as people have been to us.

That echo in the heart seems to be common. When people hear of our loss, I have noticed that there will always be some who then share about a loss they have had. They are the ones most likely to have tears in their eyes for me. I have found that if I can set aside my self-centeredness for a time, those are opportunities to help others know that it is safe to grieve or share current struggles with me. Our next door neighbor is struggling with his wife's failing health. Another neighbor lost his wife about two weeks before we lost our baby. A church matriarch still mourns the loss of two husbands. One of my Aunts still mourns the loss of a baby son who died 50 years ago. Different people deal with death in different ways. For some the grieving process is a long one. I really don't know how long my grieving will go on. Perhaps I will be one of those that grieve for the rest of my life. So far, though, my grief has been fleeting in the few free moments I get from day to day.

It is a recent realization to me that I don't mourn the individual as much anymore as I mourn the reality of death. Death is the enemy that we all eventually have to face. Life by life, people are taken from us. Even though as Christians we know that death of a Christian loved one is a temporary separation, it will last for as long as we ourselves live in this life. As a result, we still suffer the loss of those people who have been taken from us. I no longer feel the need to try to cheer someone up. It is enough to recognize their loss. I have found that letting them talk of their grief or just holding a hand and being silent is enough. They know that I have had a loss and that I understand. It is OK to grieve.

However, I do not feel even remotely sad most of the time. Does this mean that I'm not getting enough grieving time? Does it mean that I'm shallow or heartless? Does it mean that I'm forgeting our daughter? I don't think sadness has to always accompany grief as a neverending mood. I'm a pretty optimistic person in many ways. I'm married to a fun loving guy. We have three wonderful kids ages 6 and under who live in the present and who force us to live in the present. I find it hard to be depressed for long. Life brings joy to us in the midst of sorrow. God knew what he was doing by putting so much beauty in the world. If you find yourself constantly sad, I think you need to evaluate why. If you can't see joy in the beautiful things around you, you probably need some help to bring yourself out of depression.

The fact that I'm mostly happy, does not change the fact of my loss. It just makes it easier to bear. But I've also learned that if I want to be mostly happy instead of sad and fearful, I have to make some choices. I choose to live life for today and not dwell on the past which I can't change. I choose to live for the possibilities in the future and not dwell in fear what might yet happen. I also choose to avoid news stories that describe what horrible things people do to each other. I know my heart is not calloused when I encounter one of these by accident and my blood runs cold. I choose to avoid violent movies (I used to watch them all the time, but now I'm too sensitive to the evil that they depict) and instead try to use my time more productively. I remind myself that it is harder to build up than destroy. Still, I want to be a builder in life. I want to make a difference for the better. So I hope that the loss that we have been through really is building our character. Sometimes I feel like our world is lacking in the character department. Perhaps if we let our character be built by whatever hard times come our way, we will be the better for it and so will our world.

Summer ambitions

2009-05-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

Our school year is almost over and summer beckons to us. I know that we will be taking it easy with lessons. Mainly the Pillowfight Fairy will continue piano lessons and the Adrenaline Junkie will be practicing reading and writing. But beyond that the possibilities seem endless. There are all of those craft projects that we never got done during the past year but we still have the supplies. The Pillowfight Fairy is contemplating a business plan of manufacturing scarves to sell come fall. The Adrenaline Junkie wants to paint and play computer games. And Mommy? Mommy just promised the girls homemade dresses today.

I may be nuts, but I've missed sewing and I had some fabric set aside that would make wonderful summer dresses for the girls. So today, we all went to the fabric store. While I and the girls were picking out appropriate patterns, Daddy and the Happy Boy were investigating Belt Buckles for the chain maille belt he was making for me. I finally came up with a dress pattern that the girls agreed to, but they had fallen in love with another pattern of fancy dresses as well. It turns out that this was a good day to shop for patterns at this store (All Simplicity patterns were just $1.50 each). So each girl got a pattern for a simple summer dress and a pattern for a fancy occassion dress.

The Fairy in particular is fascinated by this and wants to be in on all of the process. Which I think will be a very good thing. I intend to teach her to sew. So this is a situation where she can watch the process happen and learn how clothing is made. After this (and the completion of a few projects that are still in process), I hope to start teaching her how to sew patchwork by hand to make a small quilt project. So far she likes this idea. I'm not sure how much she will like it after about a dozen seams.

I'm looking forward to sewing again, but I wonder if I can get all four dresses done in a reasonable time so they can wear the dresses before they outgrow them. I am going to aim for getting the summer dresses done in a month's time. The fancy dresses will take longer. I will aim for no later than the beginning of August for them. Of course with dresses that fancy, we will need an occassion for them to wear them. If we don't come up with any special occassion, then I suppose they can always be princesses for Halloween.

Then maybe I will have my figure back in trim again by fall so that I can make something nice for me... Hmmm... I like that idea.

End of School evaluation

2009-05-07T21:50:00.000-07:00

I've recovered enough from childbirth to go back to doing schoolwork with the Pillowfight Fairy. We will be finishing up our last week of school sometime before the end of next week. As a result there will be much rejoicing (by her as well as by myself). Since we are so close to done, I thought I would reflect on what we accomplished, what was short-changed, what changes had to be made to the schedule, and what I learned about teaching my daughter in her first grade year.

What we accomplished: I and my husband are satisfied that our daughter had a productive year and learned an appropriate amount for her first grade year. She progressed in her writing ability from fighting the effort of putting one sentence together to writing several sentences at a time with ease (even doing so for fun from time to time). She did well with her spelling curriculum, such that I was a little concerned that it wasn't challenging enough. I've decided that we will stay with it, because I like the pacing and think that she is getting a fairly good foundation with it. She has enjoyed the readings we have done for ancient literature (particularly the Aesop's Fables). She has a good memory and often retells the tales she likes best. Some of the mythology we covered had longer more complicated stories that were hard for her to follow without confusion, but she still enjoyed many of them.

She did well with her math curriculum, but she enjoyed that less. She picks up the concepts quickly, but hates the repetitive practice she needs to get good at some of the skills. I insisted she do it anyway and she did get better at learning her addition and subtraction facts. She prefers word problems and has been teaching her younger sister to do simple word problems aloud.

We will have covered all of our history curriculum for the year in just a few more days. I have tried to keep the focus on introducing these new ideas from people and places from the past, without getting too caught up in too many details. Everything we are learning in history is brand new to her, so I want her to just concentrate on learning the main points. I was pleased that she was able to make a connection between her history lesson and her Bible stories this past week. It dawned on her that some of the place names in those lessons were the same, so I was able to point out that the events in the Bible were real events that happened historically.

As for her religion studies, we took it slowly to keep the readings short. We are about mid-way through the book of Numbers. She prefers the narrative stories in the Bible best, but most people do. I wanted to get her reading through the Bible instead of just jumping from story to story, so that she would have a more chronological feel for what happened in the Bible. It is also a good habit to develop in general.

As for art and music, she has progressed with both. She can draw well for her age, but she often chooses not to use the realistic style, so that she can use the more stylized look that she finds easier and faster. I've decided to change art books again to try to follow an interest I've seen her display for picture construction. So far we have tried "Draw Write Now." This was helpful in getting her motivated to write using art, but she wasn't making any artistic progress. Then we used "Drawing with Children" which has many useful ideas and tips. However, she avoids following the technique presented in the book. In the meantime, I've noticed that she enjoys the "How to Draw" segments on her Veggietales Videos, where the artist shows how to draw a character from the video using basic shapes and construction lines. We have noticed her incorporating some of these techniques in her drawings. So, to try to follow up on this interest, I decided to pull out an art book I used as a kid that follows the same techniques. It is called "Drawing for Young Artists", by Mary Black Diller. It shows how to do some of these techniques at a very simple level. I also have a more advanced book titled "Drawing for Girls" that she could work on should she master the first book.

She is doing well with her piano lessons and Tim has started teaching her some basic music theory. She loves the piano and the music lessons, she just hates practice. In all of these areas, she has made noticeable progress.

What was short-changed: Despite our daughter's reading ability, I didn't make her read much of her own lessons. At first it was a time issue, then I realized that she was getting away with minimal effort at listening and then was at a loss when it was time to narrate back what I read to her. In the coming year, she will have to do more of the reading. I had grand ideas of having her write letters to people once a week. She did a few letters, but not many. On a positive note, those letters were her idea, rather than mine, so she enjoyed the process more. I didn't do nearly as many craft projects as I had planned. This disappointed both girls most of the year, but Mommy was so tired during the school year that craft time (when the Happy Boy was down for an afternoon nap) became Mommy's nap-time. I hope to make it up to them by doing more crafts during our summer break. We didn't do as much Music listening or Art study as I had planned. Somehow, other things crowded it out. But, actually playing music and making art took up that time, so I'm content. I had the Fairy do memory work, but wasn't very good about going back and reviewing the memorized work. That is something that needs correcting in the coming year.

What changes had to be made to the schedule: After we started, I realized that we needed breaks from time to time or we would all go nuts. So, we took breaks every six weeks (six weeks on, one week off, etc.) I also found that writing a narration for every reading assignment was fine at first when it was just one or two sentences each. But, as she got better, I had her write more sentences for each assignment until it was becoming a source of conflict. I finally decided that since she was writing more anyway, I would have her write all of the narration sentences for just one of her day's reading assignments. That helped diffuse the conflict we were having and she still got practice at sentence writing and narrations. I found that I needed to change the rate at which we did some of the work. For instance, she did better with doing her spelling work in four days rather than the five I had planned for. She also went through her favorite subjects quicker (such as art) and I was unprepared for how to fill the void when she finished the work I planned earlier than I expected. I'm going to try to correct some of these issues as I finish up the plans for the coming year.

What did I learn by teaching our daughter in her first grade year: Our daughter's perfectionist tendencies lead her into trouble sometimes. She can paralyze herself by indecision if she is afraid that she will make a mistake. She won't shrivel up and die if I force her to do work that she doesn't want to do. In fact, some of the things she enjoys now, used to be the things she complained about the most. She thinks more clearly in the mornings and is crankier in the afternoons. She works better with a constant daily routine. If we mix up the routine, or delay school work, she becomes less cooperative. If I can involve her imagination using stories or art, she will learn faster, retain the information longer, and enjoy the process more. You never know in advance what she will key into and remember from a lesson. When she keys into something, I need to be flexible and follow it up the best I can (even if it means departing from the lesson plan). My own teaching style requires me to plan the year in detail from start to finish before we start. But, I have learned that I am capable of making appropriate changes as we go along. I don't feel the need to be a slave to the lesson plan.

So how will this effect my plans for the coming year? I'm still trying to figure that out. I just have some fine tuning to do on next year's lesson plan. I'm still adjusting how the day to day lessons will flow. I'm trying to figure out how to set up the science observations I want to do. I'm trying to allow for a slightly more relaxed structure than what we had this last year. But I will try to maintain continuity with this past year by keeping successful curricula and follow routines and patterns we developed in first grade as we transition to second grade.

In addition to working with the Pillowfight Fairy, I was starting phonics work with the Adrenaline Junkie. We are finishing up with some of that this week too. She has been begging to be in Kindergarten (which is not a given, since she is still only four and won't be five until December). I've decided to start her doing Kindergarten this coming school year. For us this means beginning reading, writing, and math. The trick with her is that she is a very wiggly, active girl who doesn't like to slow down for anything. Her lessons have to be either very brief or very active, to keep her interest. I will probably have to spread her lessons out throughout the day to allow her enough run around time in between.

All in all, we've had a good homeschooling year. I had a few trepidations going into it, since we were going to be covering so many more subjects and I knew that it would take up so much of our day. But, we made it through the year and our daughter learned what we set out to teach her. Now we just have to figure out how to do that with a second grader and a kindergartener (plus a young preschooler tagging along).

Life Without a Baby

2009-05-01T23:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning we buried Baby E. Tonight we had a memorial reception and got to visit with a lot of people who have been praying for us for the past few months. Our official goodbyes have been said, but we will continue having goodbye moments for a long time to come.

People keep asking us how we are doing. We are doing OK. We have each other. We have our family. We have a good church family who love us. We still laugh and play. The sadness is still there waiting for its turn, too. In the meantime, I seem to be recovering physically, though I'll hold off on any extra exercise for a few weeks yet. Watching our three kids everyday is exercise enough.

Beyond that I've noticed I keep thinking about how life feels different without a baby in the house and without the impending prospect of one in the house. We were successful in spacing our kids two years apart. As a result, every time a baby reached toddler-hood, a new baby was on the way. Even this last time, Baby E. was about two years younger than her big brother. But this time the baby is missing from the picture. We have a baby-less house for the first time since we started having kids. I've been putting away things that were set up in case we got to bring her home for a time. As I do that, I keep thinking how strange it feels to be putting away the baby stuff. I look at the Happy Boy and see how fast he's growing. He's two going on preschooler. I can usually understand what he's saying now. He wants so much to be a big kid like his sisters. He already is fascinated with letters and numbers. We know he's going to be an early reader, too. I can see that I'll be starting to teach him in a more structured way soon. Before I know it, all my kids will be "older" kids and the childproofing of our house will be obsolete. I see it coming like a tourist about to experience a strange new land.

I feel like our home is about to make a transformation as the little kid things get retired and the older kid things take their places. It won't happen overnight, but as I glimpse the future, it feels like that time is nearly here. And it feels strange to me.

Now, we have had a few brave souls (who know us well and therefore know that it's OK to ask) whether we are going to have any more children. Our answer for now is that we haven't made a final decision on that yet. It is never a good policy to ask a Mom to make a final decision on that too close to giving birth, the memory is too fresh. There are pros and cons either way. The Adrenaline Junkie is actively lobbying for a new baby. And, we had baby E. precisely because we wanted another child in the family. But, for now I need to get my strength back. We are not going to rush that decision.

Until that decision is made, we are in the strange world of baby-less households. We have yet to decide if this is a temporary condition or a permanent abode. Somehow the empty crib adds to the sadness I feel at times, but I'm not quite ready to move it out to the garage yet.

Are You Familiar with the Book of Job?

2009-04-12T21:19:00.000-07:00

Since I've been able to catch up on some computer things lately, I find that I have a few things to post on my blog. So while my husband is busy with chain maille, I'll share some of my recent thoughts.

I have found myself contemplating the book of Job lately. Now, I don't know many Christians, let alone non-Christians who are very familiar with this book of the Bible. They may know the general story line that Job goes through a lot of suffering, but if they look any closer, they tend to get bogged down in the language and give up reading it. Tim has actually taught the book of Job at church a couple of times and I have found his approach helpful in understanding the flow of the book and the big ideas presented. So, I'll share his method to give you some background on how I came up with some of my ideas I wish to share later.

First, When you read the book of Job, you need to read the whole thing in large chunks. It is a story with an introductory narrative and ending narrative. The main portion of the book in the middle is a series of speeches in the form of a debate between Job and his friends where God gets in the last word. If you read the book more like a Shakespeare play than a storybook, you have a better idea of how to go about it. Most people stick with the easy reading of the beginning and end, but leave out all of the meat of the middle. Almost all of the main points in the book are made in the debate section. They are big issues on suffering, justice, wisdom, God's involvement with mankind, and life after death. Job is a man who through no fault of his own is placed in the midst of suffering that most people never experience. He is a man of great faith and trust in God, and his suffering is a test of that faith. In the debate section of the book you see him progress through his struggle from a why me? attitude to nearly grasping the need for the resurrection. Along the way his friends debate with him using all of the various arguments people have used throughout history to explain suffering and the justice of God. They even use what is considered orthodox theology against him. Job points out that their arguments don't hold water and don't fit his situation and what he is going through. In the end, God himself speaks approvingly of Job and his struggle to understand, but blasts his friends for maligning his name.

In reading the book of Job, you have to be willing to wrestle with the big issues of life and not be content to fall on platitudes. There is a lot to make a person squirm in this book if you think that you have everything figured out nice and tidy.

So, with that as a brief background. Let me say that I've been feeling lately that I've been gaining insight to the dynamics between Job and his friends. Many of you know that we are expecting a baby who has the chromosomal anomaly "Trisomy 13" and as a result of this she is not likely to live long. Since we were hoping for a healthy baby to cherish for many years to come, this was a big shock. Since learning of this diagnosis, we have come to terms with it and are doing the best we can by living life in the present. We are not ignorant about what this means for us or our baby. We have researched what it is and what it will mean for our lives. We understand the underlying causes and what medical hope there is. Yet we do not feel ourselves to be suffering in anything like Job's situation. In fact, it sometimes feels like we have to encourage the people around us who are suffering for us. We know that when our daughter dies, we will grieve. Knowing about it ahead of time, just seems to provide glimpses of the grief we will have later. But in the meantime, we find ourselves on a completely different page than the well meaning people who are trying to encourage us. They seem to think that they have to bolster our faith (since we don't give the answers they expect to hear). It reminds me a lot of Job talking with his friends. Let me try to explain it for you.

I can see now how Job, having to live with his suffering on a day by day basis, has a different perspective than those who see it and its ramifications on a purely theoretical level. We are living with this trial in our lives in a similarly daily way in which we will live with it from now on, no matter what the outcome. We have had to make life and death choices for our daughter. We have to face the prospect of her highly likely death and that it would have to take some very big miracles to change that outcome. We have to face explaining the death of a little baby to her big sisters and brother. The reality that not all babies are healthy and thrive has come home to us. Life in America with good health care and low mortality rates has insulated us from how common this used to be and how common it still is in the rest of the world. We feel our faith providing us an anchor that holds us firm as we negotiate this unknown territory. We feel the need not for the big miracle to "fix" the problem for us and cause it to disappear, as much as we feel the need for the strength of simple faithfulness to get through what lies ahead.

Whenever I encounter one of these well-meaning friends, I am not offended by their comments. I am not insulted by insensitivity. They usually ask if there has been any change in the baby's situation. Or without asking any questions, start talking about how we need to keep praying for a miracle. I am simply struck by the thought that they don't understand what they are saying.

Now I am not one of those people who disbelieve in miracles. I have seen enough miraculous stuff to know that God still does miracles. I had an elderly friend who was literally going through kidney failure with the expectation that he had only hours or days to live. After much prayer by the people who cared about him, he mysteriously recovered. It amazed his doctor whom he then preceded to outlive by another 10-15 years. I knew a student where I worked who struggled with the difficulties of having one leg shorter than the other. She sought healing for years and was miraculously granted that the length of her legs would match and she no longer suffered the effects of the problem. I also knew briefly a young woman who was struggling with the physical recovery from having been hit by a car several years prior to my meeting her. She had the un-nerving way of mentioning how God talked to her. She kept praying to God for healing. One Sunday she told us that God said that he was going to heal her. Three days later she died after being hit by a car as she crossed a street. Sometimes miracles don't happen the way you expect them to. There are numerous stories out there that people can tell of miracles that have happened in their lives. But, when you are dealing with miracles, you are dealing with exceptions to the rule. If miracles were routine, they wouldn't be miracles and they wouldn't have their intended effect. The Bible is full of miracle accounts. The Bible is also full of accounts where miracles didn't happen and people were expected to live faithful lives anyway. I am convinced that God doesn't just hand out miracles like a fairy godmother, if we just believe enough he will do the impossible just to make us happy or save us from some of the unpleasant things in our lives. I think God wants his miracles to make a difference in the big picture. We tend to be looking at a much smaller picture than God is.

Knowing what we know about our daughter's condition, it would not only have to be fixed in her chromosomes in every cell in her body, it would have to be fixed in the multiple organ defects that have taken place as she developed in the womb. That would be a big miracle. Would we be happy to have a healthy daughter? Absolutely! So why don't I pray for the big miracle? Because I can't see what "big picture" good it would do. People in our society are very skeptical. When faced squarely with a miracle like that, they do not decide "OK... God must really exist after all." They assume that the initial diagnosis was wrong, the tests were messed up, the ultrasound pictures weren't accurate or any number of excuses to avoid believing a big miracle. Would a big miracle in our situation do much good beyond our little circle? Somehow, I don't think so.

On the other hand, what about the small miracle, which is what I pray for. If God grants us the ability to live simple faithfulness through our trial, what good would that do? How many people are hurting and struggling in their lives? A lot. How many of them expect a miracle to save them from it? How many of them would instead find greater hope in their own lives by seeing someone go through a struggle successfully relying on God through simple faithfulness rather than that person being one of the few who are granted a special miracle? Somehow, the small miracle seems to me to fit better into doing the most good in the big picture.

So when I encounter these people who are trying to encourage me by telling me that God can do anything, don't give up, we're praying for a miracle, and so forth, I get the feeling that they are doing the same thing that Job's friends are doing. Unlike us they are not intimately connected with the situation, so they haven't really needed to wrestle with it and think it through deeply. It is very easy to sit back and rest on cliches and platitudes. It is easy to say what you think God should do, but that doesn't change the fact that God does what he does in each situation based on that situation. The moving of God's Spirit is not controlled by us to do as we wish. We are the ones who are supposed to be sensitive to God's Spirit to be thus moved and controlled to do as He wishes. It is so easy to have a surface conversation, say the "right" things, and be completely wrong.

So what are the real right things to do and say? It is good to listen. If you aren't sure if someone wants to talk about it, ask them if they care to talk about it. Until you hear the person who is going through some suffering or trial talk about it, you don't really know how they are doing. Only then can you figure out how to respond appropriately. If the person says something that shocks you or conflicts with your sense of the way things are or should be, don't immediately try to correct them. Try to understand that they have a different view of things based on their personal experience. Until you have a better understanding of their experiences, you may not have a complete view yourself. It is OK if people spend time wrestling with the big issues when they are going through struggles. Look at all the major figures of faith from the Bible, not one of them had an easy faith experience. They argued with God. They ranted and raged. And God worked with that. It was the people who thought they had all the answers, that God had trouble with. So if you are tempted to stop people from struggling with their faith, and just hand them the clean-cut answers you like so much, stop. Don't do it. Let them struggle. Instead, you might point them to examples of others who have also struggled so they can see something that they can relate to. It seems that in the midst of our struggles, we have the opportunity to understand things much more deeply and better, than we would otherwise.

Is this nesting instinct?

2009-04-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

I've always had trouble differentiating my normal level of wanting to get things accomplished from the overdrive version most often referred to as the "nesting instinct." The nesting instinct is supposed to be where a pregnant Mom starts to be compulsive about getting things ready before a baby comes. For some women it occurs as late as when they begin labor. For me, I think it is not much different from my normal behavior where I'm planning ahead before I'm even pregnant.

This past week, however, has been pretty busy and I've begun to wonder if I'm pushing the limits of sanity. Over last weekend, we finished up our taxes and I sent them out as soon as I could. We've been doing schoolwork, much to the Pillowfight Fairy's dislike. We've finished our math curriculum and grammar curriculum and as a result, I'm speeding up our history lessons to get as many of them in as possible before the baby comes. The Fairy told me today that she thinks a better schedule would be school on Saturday and Sunday and the rest of the week off. She has a bad case of spring fever. I've been staying up late nearly every night working on next year's curriculum, not just for the Fairy but for the Adrenaline Junkie too. Last night I took the time to do some much needed mending. Yesterday, was Tim's day off and I scheduled us for some new family pictures, which took a big chunk of the morning. (It was about time, the last time we had family pictures made was nearly three years ago.) So family will be glad to hear that we will have new pictures for them very soon.

Today felt like a bit of a marathon. I added a trip to Target to return merchandise to my usual trip to get groceries. By the time I got home, unloaded the groceries, and put them away, it was lunch time. After lunch we all went outside to play and I decided to go ahead and weed the garden. Now our garden is relatively small (compared to what it could be). I've only planted about a third of my garden area this time. But, I've neglected it a bit and it has gotten rather weedy. Those of you who have seen me in person lately know that I am... ahem... really big right now. At nearly eight months pregnant, I make people nervous that I'm going to have the baby any moment. Perfect strangers come up to me and ask if I need help, when I'm doing what to me are perfectly normal things (like lifting my two year old out of his stroller and into a car seat). I have a definite waddle when I walk. I can't move quickly or easily. Watching me get up or down is either painful or comical to watch (or both). But yet, I determined to weed my garden. Now, I do have a nice long handle cultivator that I could use to get between my rows. But, I needed to get the weeds out where they are growing alongside my veggies. I needed to do close work. How in the world was I going to do that? The garden cart didn't have enough room to be used since I have narrow and close rows. I couldn't stand and bend over long enough to make much progress (I did that a few weeks ago and I wouldn't be able to do that again). Kneeling would be impossible, I would need a rescue to get me back up. I finally found a way. We have some plastic stack able patio chairs. With a little experimentation I discovered that if I place one just right, the legs of the chair just fit within two neighboring troughs. I could place my chair so that I could sit in the garden with each foot in a trough and a row directly in front of me. If I sat at the front edge of the chair, I could pivot so that I could reach one row to the left, and one row to the right as well as weed the one in front of me. I wasn't too high to reach the ground, and I wasn't so low that I had trouble getting up. It worked. So I spent the next three hours weeding the garden. As a result, I know what veggies are actually growing in half of my garden. The other half of the garden will have to wait for another time. I exhausted myself.

So what am I growing? Well, the snow peas are doing fairly well and are about eight to ten inches high. I found one lone plant of broccoli, five or six cabbages (better than my one cabbage last year), a few celery seedlings that are barely visible, and a dozen or so onions. It looks pretty pathetic. In the half of the garden that hasn't been weeded yet, there should be carrots, parsley, spinach, and two kinds of lettuce. Among the profuse weeds I have so far only identified a few bits of carrot leaf and one spinach. I haven't seen one lettuce despite the fact that I planted three rows of them. It doesn't look like our garden is doing that well this year. Our fruit trees and other berries seem more promising (except that we seem to have a dying cherry tree). Also our recently planted flowers and bushes around the patio are growing and looking good.

So, it kind of begs the question: Am I going through some kind of extreme nesting instinct? or am I simply off my rocker to be concerned about my gardening at eight months pregnant?

Responsibility? Is It Counter-Cultural?

2009-04-07T22:11:00.000-07:00

OK... now that the tax forms are done and in the mail, perhaps I should bring up the topic of responsibility.

This is one of those topics where I'm not sure if I am diverging from the larger society or if I am just holding to a traditional view while society is diverging from me. But, I have noticed more and more that our general society is severely lacking in an understanding of responsibility. The lack of responsibility is becoming so mainstream that otherwise conservative, traditionalist individuals are showing signs of behaving in ways that, if not irresponsible, are an abdication of responsibility. What do I mean? Hmm... let me give an example.

What has parenting looked like in the past? A few centuries back parents would raise their children by their side, teaching and guiding them in life until they are capable of living independently. Perhaps some elite wealthy families would hire help for doing this, but even then, the parents were still responsible for the raising of their children and would be judged as successful or unsuccessful in that endeavor by surrounding society. As our society has become ever more complex, we have become used to the idea of specializing in an occupation and hiring experts to do certain tasks. That in itself is not bad. It makes good sense. But, the flaw that I have been seeing so much lately is that in outsourcing our job of raising and teaching our kids, we are not retaining the responsibility for raising and teaching them. We have started to expect others to be responsible for that. That is what I mean by an abdication of responsibility.

This is not a problem just in the area of parenting. Let's see how many areas I can find and list off the top of my head.

Children not learning to be responsible with money, because someone else always provides it for them (parents, grandparents?)
Teenagers given a car to drive without having to be responsible to provide the car, the insurance, and the income for maintenance.
Students not taking responsibility for their own education. Instead they "do time" in school until they are "free." Actually earning their grades and taking an active part in their education because it is theirs and will shape their future is an unusual display of responsibility.
Young employees taking the "doing time" mentality of school to their workplace. So many seem to have the idea that showing up is all they need to do earn the paycheck. I remember several years back when I worked as a Temporary Secretary. I would have a day job here and a week-long job there and would consistently have supervisors who were surprised that I actually expected to do useful work instead of filling an empty desk chair while pretending to be busy (like the usual temps. they would have).
Young lovers expecting to find their romantic ideal who is of course perfect and will fulfill every wish and dream, but forgetting that they have an obligation to be the type of person worthy of that dream. Relationships involve two people and both people have the responsibility for making the relationship good or bad.
I've already mentioned raising children. How many people put their children in daycare and preschool, not because they have thought through their choices ahead of time, or have a clear necessity, but because they simply want to have someone else do that for them. I suppose if they don't want to spend that time with their kids, it might be better off for their kids to be taken care of by people who do want to be around the kids. But too often I hear an attitude expressed that suggests that some of these parents want kids, but don't want to be troubled by raising them. That is someone else's responsibility.
I'm a little biased about teaching kids, being a homeschool mom. Before I list my next item, let me say that homeschooling is not for everyone. I see plenty of benefit in all of the choices for teaching kids. But, how often are parents abdicating their responsibility to be in charge of their children's education. My husband and I are taking it upon ourselves to educate our children. We are responsible not only that they are being educated, but that we are actively pursuing what is needed to give our kids the best education we can, and doing it ourselves whenever possible. Not all people homeschool, but they still have the responsibility to be in charge of their children's education. How many parents communicate with their kid's teachers and help out when needed at school? How many are involved with decision-making in PTAs or School Boards? How many parents don't even know what their kids are learning from day-to-day? It has become someone else's responsibility. Parents have become too used to letting "experts" or politicians tell them what kind of education their kids should have, when those people have never met their kids and don't have the responsibility for raising them.
Responsibility for our individual or family budget/finances. If you don't understand money, you need to learn. Even then, there are basic concepts that most people know, but they ignore. Things like "don't spend more than you earn." These simple truths are ignored, not because they can be gotten around, but because people have convinced themselves that it'll be taken care of somehow. If they aren't responsible, someone else will take care of it (a bailout) or someone else will have to take the consequences (like bankruptcy). Yes it is possible to get into bad financial situations while doing all the right things, but it is less likely. Most of the time people get into bad financial situations because they made bad decisions, listened to people who told them what they wanted to hear, and rationalized that everybody else is doing it. The bottom line is that each person is responsible for their own finances. Outsourcing some of the managing of those finances is OK, but don't try to outsource the responsibility.
Political abdication of responsibility. This can be politicians not taking responsibility for their actions (whether personal or professional) or it can be citizens giving up their rights and responsibilities to the government.

I'm sure you have noticed ways in which people in our society give responsibility to others that ought to be their own. I cannot say that I am a perfectly responsible person. But I can say that I have struggled with societal norms for most of my life in this area. As an American, I have a cultural tendency to want to be independent. As a Christian and a Conservative person in general, I understand that their are some important ways we need to depend on each other for the good of the whole. As a youngest child (and the only girl), there was a temptation to be overly dependent on my family and get away with what I could. But, I felt my conscience nagging me that I needed to be responsible for my sake and for the sake of those closest to me. My parents won't always be available to help me when I need help. Other family members have other commitments and obligations, too. If I am abdicating my responsibilities, I put them either on the people I love and don't want to burden or I put them on inappropriate surrogates. Is it appropriate to expect an employer to pay me money, if I don't provide work or service in return? Is it appropriate to expect my husband to be the person who makes my dreams come true, without taking responsibility for my part of the relationship? Is it appropriate to expect someone else to be responsible for the children I chose to have? Is it appropriate to expect the government to take care of any bad decisions I've made and be responsible for my happiness and welfare?

I do not want to abdicate my responsibilities. I will still have to outsource some things, but I need to be the one who is responsible in the end. I guess my point in all of this is to encourage you to consider how you might be tempted to follow the crowd and abdicate your responsibilities, too. Adults take their responsibilities seriously. To give them up is to return to the position of the child. I don't know about you, but there were a lot of things I didn't like about being a child.
Besides, do you really want to live in a society where no one is responsible for their actions?

One post a month?

2009-03-21T23:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I do intend to get back to my series on how I look at the world differently. I'm contemplating a post on the abdication of responsibility in our society. But for now, since it is late already, I'll just give a quick update on how the fight against chaos is going lately.

We've been on schedule with the homeschooling. However, I've had to make this past week a vacation week because of two sick kids (and a Mom). I only had one more vacation week scheduled and I hated to use it early. But you do what you need to. As a result we have just six more weeks of school left on our schedule, and eight more weeks to the baby's due date. That's cutting it pretty close. Fortunately, the schedule is thinning out a little as we finish up some things early. Our math program should be finished in just two more weeks. I'm planning on spending time playing math-involved games after our math curriculum is finished. The Pillowfight Fairy was introduced to the game of dominoes (count by five scoring version) by my parents this past week and did quite well. The two girls also played their "Papa" at chess. He held his own against the Fairy, but was blindsided by the Adrenaline Junkie's nary a care aggressive playing style. I think he was a little embarrassed by being beat by a four-year-old, but not too much. After all, she's his granddaughter and she can beat someone at chess while only four.

I've got my garden in, but haven't seen much beyond weeds coming up. The only thing I recognize as desirable so far are the snow peas I planted. Other than that we have some stray onions that must be left from last year as they came up in completely the wrong place. I'm making an effort to keep them watered properly, so maybe they are just delayed with the weather. I did plant fairly early. Our fruit trees, grapevines, brambleberries, and blueberries are all showing healthy growth so all is not lost.

I had my latest round of doctor's appointments this week regarding the pregnancy. I am still in good health (not counting the cold). We had another detailed ultrasound to determine whether or not to have a caesarian delivery. The results are good. The concern was that the fluid in our daughter's brain would have caused the head to grow unusually large. That has not happened. So I have the go ahead to go through childbirth without the surgery. From my point of view that is a big plus. There are no changes as far as abnormalities that we already knew about. Our daughter is showing a strong heartbeat so far. So she may make it to term or close to it. She is also tending to be slightly smaller than my kids so far, but not drastically so. The medical concerns at this point are whether the abnormal pregnancy will trigger abnormal reactions near the end. My doctors want me to keep an eye out for signs of preeclampsia (more likely in these situations). The other concern is that the placenta (sharing some of the faulty DNA) will cause problems near the end of the pregnancy. I find it reassuring that so many people are praying for us. It helps me stay hopeful and happy, as I take life one day at a time. We really don't know what will happen. We don't know when the baby will be born. We don't know how well she will be able to survive after birth. We don't know what to expect. So we just concentrate on what we do know. I still have to take care of myself. I still have to my best for the kids currently depending on me. Tim still has to go to work. We still do laundry, get groceries, and take care of the house.

Other things going on? Well, those of you who follow my husband's blog know that he is about to embark on a new hobby. I'm finding it difficult to find the energy to work on our taxes in the evening (Yes, it needs to be done, but I can't do it when the kids are awake).

The Happy Boy is growing fast and not just physically. He is starting to talk a lot more and much more understandably. He is starting to build things with legos, color with crayons and play with his sisters. I even had a fleeting feeling once this last week that he was starting to understand reading. He pointed at one of the Pillowfight Fairy's school binders and said "Math". And, it was indeed the math binder. I couldn't figure out how he would have known that without reading the word on the binder, since I don't usually get it out or talk about it during the day. It just sits on the shelf like all the other books and binders as far as he is concerned. He also moved a chair in his bedroom, climbed up and removed the pendulum to the clock in his bedroom yesterday when he had a little free time after his nap. I think back to the stories my Mom told of my older brothers when they were his age and even younger and understand why she hesitated to have more kids. Let us hope that the Happy Boy uses his powers for good. He is acting anxious to be a big kid like his sisters.

As for the Adrenaline Junkie, I am still debating about when to start Kindergarten with her. She still needs to polish up some things I consider to be preschool level, but in other areas, she seems ready to move to Kindergarten topics. It doesn't really have to be much of an issue here at home since we can teach her at her pace. But, it matters at church. You see her birthday is just a few days after the official school year cut-off date. She would be kept behind a year (from our perspective) simply because of an arbitrary date if she were in public school. But, our church advances students to their new grade in the summer, a full six months before her birthday, and almost certainly before she is ready to change over. Added to this she is in a boomlet group at our church where there are around 20 kids in the Sunday School class. There is a 4/5 year old class and a Kindergarten class that will be able to accomodate them, but it is still a lot of kids to spread out even to two classes for those ages. One person suggested I could teach her at her academic level at home and keep her in her age level at church, but when I see it from my daughter's perspective that wouldn't work. When people ask her what grade she is in, she will respond to her school grade from home and will notice if she isn't in it at church. At this point, I think I will start a little more preschool work and reading practice at home during the summer. Then, when she seems ready, we will start her Kindergarten program in homeschooling her. The transition at church could be at the next convenient change of quarter.

So that is what's been going on with us lately. I've had a lot on my mind. Not to mention trying to get things ready for when the baby comes. After all, we may get to bring this baby home even if just for a little while. We have to have the basics ready, just in case. So, don't expect another post from me until after I get the taxes done.

Unconventional Thoughts About Exercise

2009-02-21T21:17:00.000-08:00

I was debating with myself about what to talk about next. Television was an obvious topic, the others are not as obvious. Now conventional wisdom about exercise seems to be:

It's good for you.
It helps balance out other bad behaviors.
It is work and only health nuts actually enjoy it.

My take on exercise is slightly different:

It's good for you if done in moderation.
It does not balance out other bad behaviors (those bad behaviors need to be dealt with in their own context).
It is only work and unpleasant if you are choosing your exercise poorly or overdoing it.

So starting with that ground work. Let me share some of my thoughts on exercise. When I was a kid, I played outside a lot. But, by the time I was about junior high age, I spent most of my time indoors. I watched a lot of TV and I was a bit of a book worm. My family would go camping and hiking a good bit as I was growing up. We also had a garden. We would go on neighborhood bike rides (which I hated with a passion). Also on my own I learned to ride a unicycle. I was also in Track and Field both in Jr. High and briefly in High School. With these types of activities, I discovered that I was actually a relatively active person despite my indoor tendencies.

In college, I had to still take some P.E. classes so I chose a par course fitness/jogging class, an archery class, a hiking class, and a wellness class where you chose your exercise and had to keep a log about how much you did. To one degree or other I enjoyed these classes. But, in college your time is valuable and I resented the time taken away from the other things I wanted to do. When you have a test to study for or a paper due in the morning, an extra hour out of your day can be burdensome. As soon as I completed my P.E. requirements, I turned my back on routine exercise with pleasure.

However, I have a few eccentricities that helped me stay in shape. I hate elevators. I am highly susceptible to motion sickness and elevators make me feel queasy. So, as long as I wasn't over-rushed for time, I would take the stairs instead. I also think it is pointless to drive circles in a parking lot looking for a close parking space. It reminds me of a vulture looking for road kill. I would rather find any parking place and spend that time walking to the place I need to be. I also happened to choose a college to go to that had an exercise program built in to attending there. Pepperdine University's Malibu campus is built on some coastal mountains overlooking the ocean. It is a great view. But it is on numerous hillsides. You literally can go up an down several hills in the course of a day on campus and there are stairs everywhere you go. It is possible but not easy to get around if you have a wheelchair (It takes a bit of planning). When I was a student at San Jose State, my library science classes were on the sixth floor of Walquist Library. I took the stairs most of the time unless I was late for class. Since having kids, however, I have had to resign myself to elevators. strollers don't work well on stairs or escalators.

But, Other than choosing to walk or take stairs instead of finding a method taking less effort, I didn't do much exercise. I was a college student. Then I was in the work world. That takes up most of the day and then meals and sleep account for most of the rest of the day. The few hours left to use as I chose, became time for TV, movies, reading, or sewing. All of which are rather sedentary.

It wasn't until I married that I started to do much exercise. Tim and I would occasionally take walks in our neighborhood on the weekends or on summer evenings when the sun was up late. After I wasn't working and became pregnant, my doctor emphasized to me the importance of exercise while I was pregnant. So I started to take walks on my own in the morning and walks with my husband on weekends and summer evenings. I discovered that I enjoyed this exercise for it's own sake. I liked looking at the houses and trees and seeing things at walking speed rather than driving speed. Then after the Pillowfight Fairy was born, I would take her out with me on walks first in a front carrier, then in a stroller when she was old enough to sit up. At this point, I realized that I relied on these walks for sanity. It got me out of our tiny apartment to breathe the fresh air and experience the seasons. It gave her some interesting things to see everyday. We both tended to be cranky if we didn't get our daily outing. I have kept up this routine ever since. Whenever schedule and weather allows, we get out and have a walk. Some of my neighbors have commented on how we look like a parade at times. Oh yes... neighbors... we actually get to know some of our neighbors from these walks.

The kids don't always appreciate the walks (especially the Pillowfight Fairy who isn't allowed to ride in a stroller), but they actually have fun playing along the way once we are outside. The two oldest are old enough to walk the route without rest stops now. The Happy Boy is confined to the double stroller for the duration (mainly because he's two and obeys like a typical two year old, plus he runs faster than I do now). I use the double stroller just in case the Adrenaline Junkie gets tired or hurt along the way, so I don't have to try to carry her as well as pushing a stroller. I have decided not to give the kids a choice in this matter. The walks are good for their mother's morale and the exercise is good for them. That should be reason enough.

In the process of this lifestyle of the last eight years, I have come to some ideas about exercise that are different from where I started.

Our modern American lifestyle is work intensive and recreation intensive, but unless your work or recreation has much activity in it, you don't have time for exercise. To exercise, people have to give up something else like sleep, time with family, favorite pastimes, etc. In a situation like this, it is unlikely that people will even want to make time for exercise on a regular basis because it is taking the place of something they would rather be doing.
Working out at a gym has it's benefits (you don't have to own and store the equipment at home for instance), but it is not as nice as taking a walk in the woods. To make exercise convenient to us, we tend to put it inside buildings and keep it fairly structured. That does not allow us time to relax our minds and feel the enjoyment of a natural environment. Even my walk in the neighborhood is walking among man-made things, but at least we can watch the plants grow, feel the breeze, and enjoy the change of seasons.
Most people who start to "exercise" for their health, start too big. I think the reasoning is that if I do more it will result in a change of habit. The problem is that starting big, wears you out too much and results in bad experiences. The more bad experiences you have the less likely you will stay at it until it becomes a habit. Start with a small change in habit. Something easy. After that much is a habit, you can increase it in some way to make it more challenging. Before long you not only are participating in some decent, challenging exercise, you have developed a habit, and still enjoy it.
Too many people choose a type of exercise because it is the trendy thing to do. If you are a particularly social person who needs to do your exercise in a group environment, by all means pick a popular pastime so you can do it with friends. Otherwise, choose something that suits you. I can't stand team sports, personally, so I'm not going to join a softball league. I'm a bit of an individualist, walking is just right for me (I just have a built in entourage).
People need to think a little more creatively about exercise. Walking when something is close, instead of driving gives exercise and saves gas. Don't prize the close parking places, let yourself walk. Take stairs instead of the elevator. Do your own yard work instead of hiring it out. Do your own housework instead of hiring it out. Do some aspects of your job involve bending or lifting, consider it calisthenics and weight lifting (just be sure to use good posture). You can actually purchase pedometers that you can wear during the day to measure how much you walk during the day. My parents got some through their HMO through a program that was trying to promote exercise. The idea was to try to work up to 10,000 steps a day as a routine level of activity. Think about your activity levels and embrace the activity rather than avoiding it.

Well, I'm having trouble thinking of more to say, so I must be done with this topic. I would like to hear other people's ideas about novel ways to include exercise into a busy schedule. What works for you? Our society is much more atuned to self-indulgence than self-discipline. How do you find ways to be active in your routine?

Unconventional TV thoughts

2009-02-15T21:15:00.000-08:00

My husband challenged me recently to go ahead and share my unconventional thoughts on various topics. I readily acknowledge that I think differently than the majority of the population on these issues. However, instead of just writing me off as an oddball extremist, I hope instead that you will reserve judgment until you have considered my reasons for thinking the way I do.

I thought that I would start with my unconventional thoughts about television.

I was a kid in the 1970s. There wasn't a lot of concern back then about what kids watched on TV. It was pretty much assumed that if it was OK for the parent, it was OK for the kids. Parents would limit TV programs more on the basis of what made them uncomfortable, rather than what they considered bad for their kids. Besides, there was still some censorship and widespread public ideas of propriety. However, those things were starting to slide downward quickly. By the end of the 70s, many households had cable TV with all sorts of Adult-only viewing available to their kids. We never had cable TV at my house, but my friends did. My parents still don't have cable TV. We were late adopters of video recorders, also. But we did watch TV. My Dad was and still is a bit of a news junkie. He likes to either watch the TV news or listen to the radio news pretty much all day long, or at least several times a day. My Mom is more of a TV/video watcher when it comes to good stories (Movies, Mysteries, Dramas, Comedy, etc.) My brothers had their favorites and introduced me to Science Fiction. I grew up watching lots of TV. When I got home from school, I wanted to watch afternoon cartoons, then eventually I started liking the shows that ran in syndication after the cartoons. Then of course the sitcoms that came on after that. There was the evening news that my Dad watched when he got home from work. Then the prime-time shows after dinner. Before you knew it I was begging to watch the shows that were coming on as I was going to bed.

My life wasn't completely filled with TV at first. I still had to do my homework. But, I had to do it while someone else was watching TV in the next room, tempting me to lose focus. I still went to play outside and play with friends. But, the older I got, the more interesting more of these shows became. Eventually, I became what I consider to be addicted to television. I am not using the term "addicted" lightly. I think that I showed what are clinically defined symptoms of addiction. Here is a list I found for alcoholism and drug use, into which I have inserted "TV" to to show what I mean:

use of drugs or alcohol (or TV) as a way to forget problems or to relax
withdrawal or keeping secrets from family and friends (watching TV secretively)
loss of interest in activities that used to be important
problems with schoolwork, such as slipping grades or absences
changes in friendships, such as hanging out only with friends who use drugs (or TV)
spending a lot of time figuring out how to get drugs (or how to watch what you want)
stealing or selling belongings to be able to afford drugs (lying to watch TV)
failed attempts to stop taking drugs or drinking (inability to control TV viewing when it's available)
anxiety, anger, or depression
mood swings

I was addicted to TV. Thankfully I woke up to the fact that I was not becoming the person I wanted to be. I suspect it was while I was at college and didn't have a TV available to me that I started to realize how much it had taken over my life. But, every time I was back in a TV environment I was sucked back into my bad TV viewing behaviors. I even branched out a little when we got a video player. Now I could watch one program and record another to watch later. But I started realizing that I was having trouble finding time to watch everything I wanted to watch. There weren't enough hours in the day. I also found I had a weakness for video watching. But getting videos from the video store was expensive to do all the time, so I started checking out videos at the library for free. Yeah I was finding ways to further the habit when I could.

When I had time without a TV for prolonged periods, I discovered that I actually could live without it. I started to realize that I was spending too much time with friends just watching movies instead of catching up on our lives. I was becoming disgusted at the worse and worse quality of what I was seeing on TV and in movies. I finally decided to give up my own TV in my room at home. That helped a little, but there was still the family TV. I started to consciously avoid the living room when the TV was on, and started doing other useful things in my room instead. I started reading all the books I had which hadn't been read yet (I had always meant to get to them eventually). I started reading some of the great works of literature that I had always heard about but never actually read before. I started doing hobbies like quilting. I found that the more I did this, the less of a lure the TV had for me. When I finally married, I found myself marrying a man who had lived without a TV for a few years and who had discovered the freedom of not having a TV. We consciously made the decision to do without a TV in our household. We do allow ourselves the luxury of the occasional DVD played on our computer. But even there, we have become quite picky about what we will keep in our video collection. And currently at least half of our videos are kids' videos, for which we consider there to be some redeeming qualities. I also limit how much video time the kids get. No watching videos all day unless sickness is rampant in the household!

After having made this journey from TV addiction to non-TV household, I have developed some very unconventional ideas about TV. I hope you will be patient with me as I share them with you.

While not everybody who watches TV is tempted to addiction, I am guessing from my own observation that the majority of Americans have some level of TV addiction. This idea is reinforced in my mind by the number of news stories I have read over the last few months showing concern that not everyone will be prepared for the switchover to digital signal broadcast only.
It is assumed in our society that everyone has a TV. It is considered a necessity. Even many people in extreme poverty have TVs. We are constantly getting calls to try to switch us from either satellite TV or Cable TV to the other. The caller never asks "do you have a TV?", they ask if we have satellite or cable. They don't know what to say when I inform them that we don't have a TV. I have lived without a TV for 8 years now. It is not a necessity.
Even wary consumers are being brain-washed by their TVs. Some people are more resistant than others, but eventually the incessant, yet entertaining commercials have their effect. They actually start believing the lies they are being fed about products. And I think that the vendors know this, because it drives our TV programming.
I don't know if our social moral standards have declined because TV standards have slipped or vice versa, but they have definitely gone that direction together. I do know that I have had to build up my own standards from their previous low in my absence from TV. Now when I happen to see TV elsewhere I am appalled at what is considered normal.
The TV news is atrocious. I remember thinking back in the eighties that it was turning into a banal repetitive waste of time. I remember noticing that they would start the newscast by giving a summary of the night's stories, then they would slowly air short snippets of stories while giving teasers for the stories to come. However, they were spending so much time repeating what they were going to tell you, that the actual news stories were not much more than the teaser they already gave. Then they would finish out the newscast with a review of the night's stories. Back then, I noticed that I could find out more about what was happening in the world by reading my local newspaper. Later I decided even that was similarly biased. I found non-American news magazines refreshing. Although they had their own biases, they were different ones and I actually heard a few things you didn't get in the American news media. Now I am much happier with news on the Internet. If I want to know more about something, It's easier to find more about it from a variety of viewpoints.
I think the TV news media thinks it has the power to shape public opinion. To some extent, I think they are right. For all those people who watch the news (over and over again), they eventually think that the news as presented is the real story. Fewer and fewer people are able to tell the difference between a well documented story and an opinion piece. Fewer and fewer people are able to tell that they are not being given the complete story. It is brain-washing again. If you tell people something long enough they begin to believe you. If you convince enough people, you can change their behaviors and sometimes turn a lie into the truth. The end of the Vietnam War is a classic example of this in my mind. Militarily the war was being waged successfully, but the American news media turned the tide of American popular thought, which put political pressure on our country's leaders. They in turn finally pulled out of Vietnam in defeat, when militarily we did not need to leave in defeat. I completely believe that the news media's coverage of the Iraqi war was an attempt to re-enact this senario.

Whether or not you can agree to these points, I hope you can at least mull them over a while to see if you can see any truth to them. I notice every now and then that our pediatric clinic encourages families to turn off the TV for a week every year in an effort to improve children's health. I would encourage everyone who uses TV in their life to have a regular "TV is off" time. If it is widely acknowledged to be good for our kids, it is probably good for the rest of us, too. It also allows those who are too enmeshed in it, to start to make a needed break from it. Try it. Once a week, once a month, certainly more than once a year... take a break from it. Find out what else you like to do with your life.

I, personally, would like to see a measurable percentage of the population to begin to live without TV again. That itself could be transformative for our society.

Garden roulette

2009-02-13T19:27:00.000-08:00

Every spring the same question comes to mind. When exactly do I plant my spring garden? You see, I haven't lived in this area all that long... just five years. I'm still learning when spring hits. Last year I thought I got a nice early start by planting on the first of March. But, most of our cool weather plants couldn't take the warm weather even that early. So this year I thought that I would try to get an earlier start. But how much earlier? We had a ridiculously mild January with many days getting up to 80 degrees by lunch time. But our nights were fairly cold. Then just when I thought it might stay mild, the frost came back.

I remember from my childhood in the Bay Area, that we would usually get some spring-like weather that caused everybody to plant their spring gardens. Then the frost would come back and kill everything off. Then people either would replant or give up. So, I'm trying to figure out if the same thing happens in this area. Did we get an early false spring this year? I've decided to take advantage of the prolonged rain forecast for the next week. I planted most of my spring garden today (in the middle of February) before the rain started up again. So we will see if I guessed right this year. In the meantime, we shouldn't have to worry about watering our garden for a week or two.

I hope I guessed right. If I'm right, we will start getting our spring veggies ripe in March and April this year. That is just about right for this year since our baby is due in May. I'm thinking that I'll be taking a bit of a break from gardening during the summer. If I plant anything for summer it'll be something that doesn't take a lot of constant care. I suspect that our family, friends and neighbors will be getting more of our fruit produce this year, too. Somehow I can't picture myself doing much fruit preserving while recovering from childbirth.

Maybe I'll skip summer gardening and do a fall garden instead. Then I'll have to guess how early it needs to be planted so that we get a harvest before the cold weather hits. If we stay in this area a long time, like we hope, I might get good at predicting the seasonal changes.

Month-long musings

2009-01-31T20:56:00.000-08:00

It has been about a month since I've posted last. A month ago, we had just learned about our baby having trisomy 13 (confirmed since then) and had the hustle and bustle of Christmas. I've had a month to think about all sorts of deep thoughts. I've decided that I should take some time to share my thoughts, since I've gotten the impression that many people who know me, aren't sure how to talk to me anymore. They seem unsure about how I'm taking our news and don't want to say the wrong thing. For those of you in that category, I guess you haven't figured out yet that I'm fairly tolerant of what people say to me as long as they seem to be well intentioned and polite. I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. So to help out these people and to share my thoughts with the rest of you, here follow some of my musings about our news of the last month.

I was not very familiar with Trisomy 13 before the diagnosis came. I was vaguely familiar with the term "trisomy" but I had to read up on it and learned quite a lot from the genetic counselor. It is a very serious condition and usually results in early death for those who have it. This was not something anyone wants to hear that their child has. It was a shock of course. But, I am not a person under the delusion that misfortune can't possibly come my way. Some people tend to say "why me?" when bad things happen to them. I tend to say "why not me?" There is nothing special about me or mine that would prevent misfortune from coming our way. Added to this, I am very aware of my age and the fact that the risk for birth defects increases as my age increases. Although the risk is much higher than if I were twenty years younger, I am realistic about the statistics. If I have a risk of 1 in 20 of having any chromosomal problem in a baby of mine, that means I have a chance of 19 in 20 of having a child with no chromosomal problem. Most women my age who have children, have healthy children. I was aware of all of this information before I became pregnant and before we heard the diagnosis.

Once we heard the news, we were very sad. But, we wanted information to help figure out what it meant for our child. So we took time to research what we could. It didn't make us feel any better. But, it did help us come to terms with what is knowable. Trisomy 13 results in several abnormalities in a child. No two children are completely alike in how they are affected. From the ultrasound, we have some knowledge of our child's abnormalities (at least those detected from an ultrasound). We know that we won't know everything about her abnormalities until she is born. We also know that we can't know for sure how these abnormalities will affect her ability to live and grow until she is born and is trying to live on her own (instead of inside Mommy). Many of these babies don't make it to birth. Many don't live more than a few days after birth. About 5% live 6 months. very very few live beyond that. That is what we know. That is also a little about what we know that we don't and can't know ahead of time.

When faced with the certain knowledge that you are going to lose someone you love in the near future, how do you react? How to you live after that news hits? Well, you still don't know when it will happen. You still have others that you love and care for to consider. You still have to go about everyday life. You still have to eat. You still have to sleep. You still have to do laundry and do basic housework. If you don't do these things, life becomes extremely unbalanced and you start to go downhill yourself in depression. Fortunately for us, we have three bouncy, energetic kids that need our attention and care. They help us to remember to live life day by day. After all, that is how all of us need to live. Today is the only day we know we have, so we have to do the best we can with what we have. I still have times (in the middle of the night when I get too uncomfortable to sleep well, usually) when I consider what is coming in the future and I start to miss my baby girl early. But most of the time, I'm in good spirits. I can still laugh and play. I can appreciate a sunny day or one of my children remembering to say please when they ask for something. I actually forget sometimes that people who have heard our news, expect me to be a morose, tragic figure, who is sure to be near tears at the drop of a hat. They come up to me with tears in their eyes and sad words and I feel the urge to cheer them up. I don't feel like a morose, tragic figure. I am also beginning to see our situation less as tragedy and more as life as it really is -- Riding down the road of life without the training wheels, so to speak.

I try to give myself perspective. My life is pretty good. Many others have had tragedy of one kind or another hit them. And yet, they survived and were perhaps the better for it. I like to think that God has his reasons for letting these things occur when and where they do. I do believe that God is in control, which is a thought that gives me comfort. We live in a world that is not perfect. It is corrupted by sin and the ripples of that cause all sorts of unpleasant things in our world. Yet God is able to take those unpleasant things and make something good and right come about. We tend to see our baby daughter's "abnormalities" as defects and undesirable. But, we don't know how God sees them. These abnormalities may result in a more precious relationship and stronger lessons in life than we would have otherwise had. She is still our daughter. It is still our job to love her and be her parents until she returns to God. She is still part of our family. None of us knows for sure how long we have here on earth. Life is a precious gift. We choose to face this situation with a love that is willing to feel the pain to come. We don't need to lose the joys of today, worrying about loss tomorrow. Nor do we need to shelter ourselves from future pain and thereby cut ourselves off from the support we have around us.

We have had a lot of support from people. I know we have literally hundreds of people praying for us. We have family and friends who are willing to help any way they can. We have good doctors who are doing the best they can to be helpful, supportive and give us the best care they can. I feel blessed by this crowd of people rooting for us, and feeling sorrow for us, too. The load is lighter because of it. I don't know why this tragedy in our lives feels so non-tragic right now. We really would have preferred to have another healthy baby. But this is our current reality. As a result, we seem to be learning things about life and faith that we would not have learned any other way. I wish I could say more about that now, but I don't think I can until the time and the perspective of hindsight helps me do so.

I also feel blessed that I am still in good health. The pregnancy itself is going as it should. The only thing wrong is a chromosomal problem that has severely affected our daughters physical development. When birth comes, that will be the time of decisions and our next chance to really know much more about how our child is doing. We don't know how well or poorly her abnormal organs will work. We don't know if she will live long enough to bring home. We don't know what life will look like during that time. But, I haven't been worried about my own health. I've been able to get my usual exercise. I've been able to continue caring for our kids and home. Tim has been able to continue working and not worry about things at home. I've been able to continue homeschooling and planning for next school year's work. I like to think that I'm mentally healthy, too. I am not in depression, which I imagine is a temptation to many in such a situation. If I am somehow mentally unbalanced and acting strangely, no one has brought it to my attention yet. So I have hope for the future.

Faith, Hope and Love... hmm. That sounds familiar. Yep, that is what gets you through the tough times alright. It's a combination I highly recommend.

Reflections on Christmas

2008-12-28T19:34:00.000-08:00

It has been quite a while since I posted on this blog. Homeschooling has been pretty routine, so that didn't seem like a noteworthy topic. I have discovered that my allowing for only one week off school for the Christmas holiday was not very realistic. First of all, I need time to prepare for Christmas even if we keep it simple like we did this year. Secondly, The Pillowfight Fairy can't concentrate on school work if she hasn't had a chance to play with all of her new toys yet. So we are taking a second week off to help satisfy the kids and to allow the parents some time to get life back to normal.

For those of you who follow my husband's blog, you know that we received some unwelcome news that our expected baby is not the healthy baby we had hoped for. She has many defects that will probably take her life fairly early. This is not the kind of news one likes to get at anytime, let alone Christmas. But after the initial shock and sadness, we are finding ourselves managing fairly well.

Christmas is usually one of our most stress-filled holidays. I have to consciously limit my Christmas activities or I make myself sick. Added to that, we frequently have one or more of us involved with a Christmas program of some kind (practices are not easy to juggle when there are young children). Then there has been a death or other family struggle/tragedy in most of the holiday seasons for the last 15 years. On top of that is the "who do we spend which holiday with" family politics. Don't get me wrong. I love my family and I am quite fond of my in-laws. I like spending time with them. But it is not easy to pack up the family for a visit on particular pre-determined date, especially in winter. And somehow, kids are never on the same schedule as the adults, which adds to the general stress. Then there is the fact that all three of our kids have birthdays plus Christmas in the space of about three months and we are inundated with new stuff, requiring sorting, storing, rearranging, and the discarding of old things.

With all of that, somehow this has managed to be one of our better Christmases in years. The family Christmas celebration was just across town for us this year, so we didn't have the travel stress. None of us were in a Christmas program this year, though we did attend a couple as audience members. We did keep our Christmas simple. I didn't have a lot of time to prepare ahead, being busy teaching up until the week of Christmas. Then I had extra doctor's appointments and big issues on my mind regarding our baby. Somehow, anything other than simple would have been way out of place this year. I did have a cold, but it was going away by Christmas instead of just coming on.

All this makes me reflect on what would be an ideal Christmas in my opinion. My ideal Christmas would involve:

Spending time with immediate family doing simple things that we don't usually get to do.
Not being concerned about other people's expectations of gift giving and simply giving gifts as prompted by our hearts and perhaps doing more gift giving to those in need rather than people who have everything they need.
Remembering that Jesus is what the celebration is all about.
Treating the people around us better than we usually treat them and perhaps better than they deserve.
Move the focus off of what we want, and put the focus on what God wants and what others need.
Maybe we could sing and dance more, too.
As much as we treasure particular things, we should never let them stand in the way of the lives and relationships we need to treasure more.

Somehow when issues of life and death are on your mind, most of the stuff that goes on around Christmas is so trivial it is ridiculous. But without those big life and death issues weighing on the mind, those trivial things start to take over. Although the unpleasant things of life are in fact unpleasant, they do help us keep in perspective what is important.

Accountability

2008-11-21T22:48:00.000-08:00

About a month ago, I was talking with an older gentleman at church (whom I respect) and he brought up the subject of homeschooling. He had heard that we were homeschooling and, not knowing much about it, he was curious. He was not on the attack and he wasn't trying to condemn. But, I found it interesting that instead of bringing up the socialization topic like most non-homeschoolers do, he asked me to whom am I accountable.

I had a simple answer at the time that I think satisfied him, but I've been thinking about the question on and off ever since. The more I think about it, the more I think he was on the right track with his question. I'm sure that this "accountability" question probably raises just as many hackles with homeschoolers as the "socialization" question does. But, think about it for a minute. In the socialization question, people are saying that it is important to be like all the rest of us who educate our kids this other way. In the accountability question, it is asking who do you answer to keep you on track and doing what you should.

The way I see it, accountability is important to everybody. But, this gentleman realized that accountability is a separate thing from being like everybody else. Most people think that if you are like everybody else then the accountability question is taken care of through normal channels and they don't have to think twice about it. However, most homeschoolers are not satisfied with the accountability provided in the normal channels and for one reason or another reject the idea that they need to be like everybody else.

The public schools are accountable to parents, school boards, and government regulation. Private schools are accountable to parents, school boards, government regulation and in the case of religious private schools the faith tradition they are a part of. Homeschoolers are also accountable. Except in their case the parents are the school board and the teachers and the administration. Homeschoolers also have to satisfy whatever government regulations have jurisdiction over them. Many homeschoolers are part of a support group which can be an accountability partner for them to stay on track. Religious homeschoolers are either accountable within their faith tradition or accountable directly to God.

All of these methods of accountability are useful and good within reason. But any one of these can get overbalanced and become a tyranical dictator rather than an accountability partner in the education of our children. It is also this that scares people when they hear horror stories of parents who use homeschooling as a screen for mistreating their children. The public decides suddenly that there isn't enough accountability if it was allowed to happen.

The things that I see in all this is that there are good individuals and bad individuals and all of us have some mixture of the two (so don't get too puffed up about being a good guy). It is in every parent's best interest for their children to thrive and succeed. If we all operated on this self-interest, there would never be a parent who mistreats their children. Unfortunately, there are and they are not limited to any one segment of the population. For this reason, I understand the need for accountability. I consider myself personally accountable to God for my actions. I am also accountable to my husband, and he to me, in how we conduct ourselves with our children. We are accountable to extended family, who love our kids as much as we do (and for the record, most but not all are happy that we homeschool). We have church connections that help us be accountable as good parents. We are not thoroughly connected to a homeschool organization for accountability, but we do have several casual friendships with other homeschoolers. Living in California, we currently do not have many governmental regulations to be concerned about. On the whole, I think we are sufficiently accountable while at the same time having the freedom to decide what is best for our kids.

I would challenge all parents (public, private, or homeschool) to consider to whom you are accountable. If you have a long list, you are probably doing all right. If you have a very short list or an empty list, you probably need to find yourself people to hold you accountable to be the person you need to be for the sake of your children.

Half-way Point

2008-11-21T21:05:00.000-08:00

As of today, we have completed half of what I have planned for a 36 week year. We have completed week eighteen on time, without letting the schedule slide. I am quite pleased that we've been able to do that since I expected that sick days and other surprises would have caused us to push the schedule later than planned. But, so far the sick days were few enough to allow us to catch up with just a little extra work per day.

Keeping on schedule is very important for me this year. This is partly because I don't want anyone to be able to claim that I am incapable of teaching my daughter at the high standards we have set. There were some who upon reading the coursework we had planned, said that we had bit off more than we could chew and that we should thin it out and be more realistic. I have news for those people: It is working. Our daughter is being challenged at an appropriate level. She is not showing signs of being in over her head. She is making steady progress in all subjects. Some of it she likes. Some she doesn't. When I look at various standard lists of what my child should be learning in first grade I find that she is either at grade level or above.

The other reason I find that the schedule is important to me is that according to my calendar, my six week on one week off plan (with an extra week off for Christmas) results in ending our "official" 36 week year on April 24th. Exactly 3 weeks before my baby is due. I do have more work planned at a more relaxed pace during the summer. But, doing much schoolwork with a newborn infant in the house is folly as far as I'm concerned. 3 weeks is not a lot of wiggle room and babies are rarely inclined to appear at convenient times.

So if I'm on schedule and pleased with my daughter's progress, why am I nervous? It just dawned on me this week that I won't have the month or two of planning before the next year starts. Those months will be taken up by baby care and lack of sleep. I don't recommend doing meaningful planning in those circumstances. That means that I have to guess how my daughter progresses to the end of the year and make plans early.

With our bought curriculum, this isn't so bad. She is doing well with it. It seems well-paced for her. We will just pick it up at the next level. I'll just have to preview it to make sure there are no surprises. But I've made up my own lesson plans in a few areas. Preparing for a new year with these takes a lot more work. For instance I need to finalize new lesson plans for religion, literature, art, and science. I also need to research how we plan to teach cursive and get ready for that. I also need to research grammar curriculum since our daughter will be finishing up her current program early and I'm not sure that publisher has the next level to just pick up where we left off. You can't do planning like that in a day or two.

But even with the nervousness, I'm starting to get a little excited at the prospect of something new for the coming year. I always loved starting a new year when I was a kid. Besides, next year we are going to be studying two of my favorite areas of science: Earth science and astronomy (Yay!)

For our literature studies I have been trying to do literature from the time period we are studying in history. This year it has been Ancient history accompanied by myths and legends of the nations we study with Aesop's Fables filling up the empty spaces in the schedule. (As a side note: I highly recommend Aesop's Fables for children. My daughter loves them and they teach wisdom. They are also the perfect size for beginning narration training.) Next year we will be studying from the fall of Rome to the Renaissance. Yeah it's a cool time period to study. However, I'll have to take a slightly different approach to the literature since the writings from this time period are not necessarily child-friendly. One suggestion I've come across is reading lots of biographies of people from this time period. That idea has merit, but I'm sure that there are at least some primary sources that we could read parts from. Just think of all of the religious writings, scientific writings, chronicles, eyewitness accounts of historical events, fiction, and plays. Surely some of that could be read to a 2nd grader. But the question remains: "which ones do you choose?" There are a whole lot more writings available for this time period than for the ancient world. Any suggestions are welcome.

Religion won't be hard, just time consuming. We are reading through the Bible. By my schedule, we will be in the book of Numbers by the end of the school year. We are taking it very slowly in small chunks. So far we have only skipped a few passages that I didn't think I could explain with a simple explanation. I know we will skip more later on this year for boredom and redundancy reasons. However, I am trying to give as much of the original as I can since it all relates together and gives the broader context for later teachings. This means that I read through it all ahead of time to plan what those daily chunks are going to be.

With art I think I will probably take a different approach next year. I like the book we used "Drawing with Children," but I've found that it helps my daughter only so far. The Pillowfight Fairy has gotten to a point she is comfortable with and isn't making much progress. In fact the book encourages self-expression to the point that my daughter doesn't even want to do a straight copy job without altering the picture to fit what she wants it to be. I figure my daughter has no lack of self-expression. She is very good at it. What she needs to learn is a little more artistic discipline to learn new methods. So I'm on the lookout for something that can help us in that direction.

I have researched cursive enough to know that it is more commonly started in third grade. However, both my husband and I think that she is ready for it and will probably like it. She is becoming rather comfortable with writing and has developed a very nice print style. She likes her letters to be somewhat artistic. She is also sometimes frustrated when she tries to read script and then gives up. With her temperment, we can picture her either loving cursive because it is pretty or hating it because it requires constant practice. We don't think she is too young. My mother who has excellent penmanship first learned cursive writing in first grade. Of course more things were handwritten back then.

So as you can see, I'm already switching gears into my planning mode. I also have to keep in mind that I might be starting the Adrenaline Junkie on Kindergarten sometime next year. So I'll need a schedule that will allow me to teach two kids at different levels while having a toddler/preschooler and infant keeping me hopping. I keep hearing that the first year of homeschooling is the hardest. My question is, "Is that my child's first year of homeschooling or my first year of homeschooling?" Because this is my third year of homeschooling and it has been comparably challenging to our first year when she was a reading preschooler. And from this vantage point, although this year has been going smoothly, it isn't easy. Next year somehow seems like it will be harder with two students and two distracters.

Extreme tiredness

2008-11-08T15:37:00.000-08:00

I had thought that I was doing fairly well this pregnancy with being able to stay awake and just keep on going. Yeah... so I do need my afternoon nap. Yeah... so I tend to run out of energy fast in the evening. But, last night I reached a new depth of tiredness that I had never achieved before.

I fell asleep while reading a book. OK, that seems like a perfectly normal thing to do. Let me revise my description to give you a better idea of how extraordinary this was. I was reading Dr's Suess' ABC to my son, aloud. I knew I was tired, but I didn't realize how tired I was until I felt this fuzziness fade over me and I woke myself by hearing myself continuing to talk as if I were reading but strange words were coming out of my mouth.

I had fallen asleep while watching videos with my kids. I have had close calls in the car on long afternoon drives (why I don't drive long distances in the afternoons when I am pregnant anymore). I had fallen asleep while breastfeeding. I had fallen asleep while bottle feeding. I have heard of people falling asleep while standing up. I have never fallen asleep while I was reading aloud before. Parenthood really is exhausting. First-time parents find that out pretty fast. What nobody tells you is that if you keep having kids, you learn new depths that you didn't know existed.

To be fair, some of the sleep deprivation is self-inflicted since I am determined to keep on going and keep up a normal pace of activity. I am grateful my husband can step in and help with the kids in the evening when I completely lose steam. Though I think he is getting tired of doing bedtime routines for all three kids while his wife is asleep on the sofa.

What is our child's educational level?

2008-10-30T22:23:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: added a link to the site that estimates reading level with a little more detail about it.

The question came up again recently about what is our daughter's educational level. Since we are homeschooling and can tailor her education to fit her individual needs, the actual grade level is just a convenient label to us. Her peers are six. She is six. She attends a first grade sunday school class and thinks of herself as a first grader. But what educational level is she at? We don't feel the need to get her tested to determine her level so how do we know what to teach her?

Well, I guess we started with reading. She can read. So now it is a matter of what she likes to read. What stories grab her attention? What stories does she read to herself and what stories does she prefer to be read to her? Lately, I've been getting a lot of "step 2: intro to reading books" from our local library. They are simple chapter books with easy stories and vocabulary. The Pillowfight Fairy finds them easy and fun. Her little sister likes them too. The older reads them to the younger, then they spend the next week reenacting the stories in their free time. According to the information on these books the reading level is grades 1-3. That gives some clue, but as I said, the Fairy finds them easy. On the more advanced level she enjoys reading some of the Beatrix Potter stories. I found a site that gives the reading level for book titles that you enter. It is called Scholastic Teacher Book Wizard and you can find it here. When I looked up some of these stories on the site's "Bookalike" search engine it ranked the reading level and I found that the stories have a "interest level" of kindergarten through 2nd grade, but has a reading level of 3.5 grade level. "House at Pooh Corner" is listed as interest level of 3rd-5th grade and reading level of 5.1. Books that she prefers to have read to her are some like "Stuart Little," "Charlotte's Web," and "The Wind in the Willows." I don't think it is because they are too hard to read. I think it is because they are longer chapter books with longer plot lines. She can't finish them in one sitting, so she prefers to be read to so that her imagination can just take it all in. If she were reading it herself, she would still be dealing with the mechanics of reading and couldn't enjoy it as much. So we just try to get her good books, whether for her to read or for us to read to her. Our theory (taken from Charlotte Mason) is that if the child reads good literature and interesting books, the reading abilities follow along nicely.

We also started her out doing some spelling work to try to reinforce the phonics we had taught her. She loved it and is now in the second book of our chosen curriculum (Spelling Workout) which is labeled as for 2nd grade. I found that I couldn't advance her too fast in this curriculum, because it is aimed at a child who also has similar writing and thinking skills to the older age level. So I have extended the life of the curriculum by following the series of spelling lessons with vocabulary work taken from the dictionary in the back of the workbook.

Thanks to some of the spelling and vocabulary work we have done, she has made good progress with her writing skills. She doesn't like writing sentences, but she can do it well enough now that she will sometimes compose several sentences for fun during her free time, on whatever topic is of interest to her at the time. She still prefers to use simple words when writing, but she will take a chance on spelling a more complicated word if it is the one she wants to use. As far as her ability to write, I would rank her as about 2nd or 3rd grade. However, the content is more along the lines of a 1st grader's simpler view of the world. During the course of our current school year I have increased the amount of writing that I expect from her. She used to do one sentence per writing assignment at the beginning of the school year. Now she is doing three sentences per writing assignment. I have added an additional sentence every six weeks. It has worked out so well that I plan to continue it until she is writing six sentences per assignment by the end of our school year.

We are using Horizons math with her at the 1st grade level. We are satisfied with the steady and challenging work she is getting with it. She is picking it up at a reasonable pace. She also seems to prefer word problems, which I detested when I was her age. But it fits the way that she thinks.

As for her other subjects: history, science, religion, art and music. This is more fluid. None of it is actually graded. The history is designed to be used for any kid between 1st-4th grades. The Science is handled in a similar way. The teacher adjusts the lesson for what the child is capable of. The art is simple enough for any age level (child through adult). For religion, we are reading from a children's Bible that is at a 3rd grade reading level. The piano work is based on completion of lessons in order rather than "grades." So these areas of study either mirror her progress in reading and writing or they train for specific skills that are not quite so age related.

Just writing this post is reinforcing to me that the basics of reading, writing, and math really are the basics. I feel it is important to develop these abilities so that she will always be challenged a little more. If we can keep her at the level of steady improvement at a challenging level, I think she will be capable of the same level of work in the other subjects that are dependent on reading and writing and eventually also math. So, I guess my determining factor in our child's educational level is in reading, writing, and math. She is reading and writing much better than the typical six year old. She is doing math at a first grade level. She still thinks like a six year old however and has the emotional and activities needs of a six year old. I sort of see the information she is picking up in history, science, religion, art and music as frosting on the cake. She is learning new facts that she doesn't have a lot of context for yet. We are trying to provide some of that context for her. But I can see good things coming from following our current path. For instance, how many six year olds are confident about how to spell: Egypt, Pharaoh, Abraham, and Osiris. She is learning about lots of different kinds of animals. She is hearing the actual bible stories instead of paraphrases. She is getting training in art and music at a level that suits her abilities.

We still have a little over half a school year's work yet to go, so it will be a while before I can start planning for next year. But, I can see how each year lays a new layer to the foundation she is building on. I don't have any concerns about her not being ready to advance to new levels in reading or writing. She is right on track with her math. This year's work has shown our plans to be successful as far as material covered and educational level to follow. Looking ahead, I can still see the basic subjects (reading, writing, and math) to be the arbiters of how challenging the other subjects (history, science, religion, and fine arts) will be. And in the end those other subjects will become foundational later on when she starts hitting the logic stage, and she has to start wrestling with the facts that she has already been exposed to.

The more I look toward the future, the more I get excited about the shape it is taking. I almost feel sorry for my daughter that she doesn't have the perspective yet that allows her to look ahead at what the future holds for her. She has had such a good beginning. Yeah, she grumbles and gripes with the best of them. But she incorporates what she has learned into her play as if it is now a natural part of her. She doesn't realize how much she has changed in just the last few months. To me, as her parent, it is exciting and hopeful. I almost look forward to the day when we will be wrestling over arguments and grappling with great ideas.

In the meantime, I'm starting to teach the Adrenaline Junkie phonics. I get to learn how to juggle the educational needs of two kids in a more formal fashion. I get to figure out what my second daughter is ready for and whether we will start kindergarten next school year or in the following. (Her birthday is just a few days after the official cut off, so that will be it's own challenge.) After that, maybe I'll write another post about educational level. After all, I don't have a lot of experience dealing with more than one person. I'm sure I'll have figured it out a bit more after that.

Why do we homeschool?

2008-10-19T20:06:00.000-07:00

As I look back over the last two and a half years of homeschooling, I have realized that our original reasons for homeschooling have transformed a bit. So I was wondering if I ever posted about why we homeschool. After looking back in my archive, the answer is: not really. I have mentioned reasons in passing, but mostly I wrote about how we decided to homeschool, not why. So in an effort to spread some enlightenment, I'll try to address the whys of our homeschooling journey.

Both my husband and I went to public schools growing up. We did not have any horribly traumatic experiences that changed our lives forever and caused us to swear that we would never inflict that on our children. We both had good educations growing up. But, neither of us saw our good, public school education as problem free. We each have our weaknesses and strengths. As a result, we saw that our good, public school education allowed us to coast on our strengths, while avoiding the need to address our weaknesses. As for socialization, you could say that neither of us saw public school socialization, in general, as a positive thing. In every group of people (in school or otherwise), you have leaders, followers, and a few odd balls that neither follow the leaders, nor inspire followers. The public school system is designed to work well for leaders and followers. Both Tim and I were odd balls. As a result, we saw how it did not always work well for people like us.

After High School, both of us went off to college. Tim went to a state college and I had a varied journey through a public junior college, a private university, a state college, and a small private college. We had good educations and got decent jobs. As newly married adults, we found that we were both of the mind to examine the choices we made before we automatically followed the crowd. As a result we found that we often did not follow the crowd. One decision we made early on that went against societal norms was to do without a television. Our household has been TV free since 2000 and we haven't regretted the decision.

As we started making plans for having a family, we would talk about what we wanted for our children and the topic of education would eventually come up. We both were of a mind that we wanted not just a good education for our children, but an excellent one. We expected that we would be the ones to decide what that education would look like when the time came. We talked over the pros and cons of public, private and even homeschooling, but never came to any conclusions. After all, we didn't actually have any children at that time so it was all theoretical.

Once we had our first born, the Pillowfight Fairy, theory started to be met with reality. We were a happy little family with nary an educational care until about the time she turned two. You see, this little girl was a bit on the early side for just about every childhood milestone. But, since she was our first child, we didn't have much perspective on what was normal, except what the people around us would tell us. They were astounded when she was crawling and pulling to a stand at six months. She was walking by nine months. They were shocked to hear her pronounce words perfectly at ten months. She had memorized some of her favorite books by eighteen months and could recite them to herself happily. By the time she was twenty months, she had words like "metronome" in her speaking vocabulary. But what really started to make us realize how unusual her skills were was when she memorized the 50 states by shape, location, and name (sometimes mispronounced) two weeks after her second birthday thanks to a map puzzle she was given. That sort of tipped us off that this kid was not learning things in quite the same way as the other kids her age. That is when we started evaluating what should we do for her education.

The first question was whether or not to send her to preschool. Many of our peers were planning to send their kids to preschool when they turned three, partially to prepare them for school, partially to give them some fun activity with other kids, and partially to allow the parents to do other things. When I looked into what was taught in preschool, I realized that my two year old already knew most of it. So, academically that choice didn't make sense. Socially, we are not isolated. Between our church connections and my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group, she was getting lots of time with other kids and fun activities. As for myself, I was still going to be a stay at home mom. By this point, we had our second daughter (the Adrenaline Junkie) and I was going to be home taking care of her and didn't see any reason to ship off one kid so that I had more time alone with the other one. So Tim and I kept thinking about educational options. by the time she turned three, we had decided that we can do her preschool years at home. That way we can teach her what she is ready for and not be concerned about being out of sync with the preschool. Besides, I just didn't like the idea in my gut to send her to someone else to teach when I was perfectly capable of doing it myself. I don't think kids should be separated from their families as much as is common in today's society.

Not long after we solved the preschool issue, wouldn't you know it but our little angel decided to spontaneously start sounding out words on her own at three and a half years old. That's when the next question came up. Do you delay teaching her to read because that happens later in school or do you go ahead and teach her and deal with the fallout from that decision later. Tim and I both agreed that you teach what a kid is ready to learn, regardless of whether it is convenient. So, we did a little research on reading lessons, did sounding out practice with her, made a few mistakes and came back to phonics in the end. In the process, we were discovering more about how our daughter thinks, how she reacts to lessons, what kinds of strengths and weaknesses she had. We were also watching how she interacted with other kids her age. We knew that the decision about kindergarten was just around the corner. Would we put her in public school for kindergarten? Would a private school be better? What about homeschooling? We knew that at the rate she was going, she was going to be academically advanced for her age. But socially and emotionally, she was not. We knew that if we placed her based on her age alone, she would be hopelessly bored. We knew that if we placed her based on academics, she would be horribly handicapped trying to deal with kids more socially and emotionally mature than her. We were realizing that, based on our own experience in the public school systems, that public school would be a bad fit. The more we researched and read, the more we realized that a private school would not be much better. The issue we were dealing with was how to teach a kid who was her own category. There was not going to be a classroom of kids exactly like her to put her with. We wanted her to have an excellent education, but we were not willing to make the compromises necessary to force her to fit into a classroom setting. The classroom setting became the focus. You see, any time you bring a group of people of varying skills into a classroom to learn, you have some who learn quickly, some who learn at an average speed and some who for one reason or another learn slowly. You also have to deal with the dynamics of one teacher having to juggle the needs of all of the students. No matter how good the student-teacher ratio, the attention given has to vary based on need. We knew our daughter to be a fast learner. We found that she also has a lazy streak and resists new things if she thinks she doesn't want to put much effort into it. After all why work to learn something when you could just learn the things you like that don't take much effort at all? We could see her in a classroom setting excelling in her favorite topics, but getting bored and not doing what she was capable of, since it wasn't expected. Yet at the same time, she would be labeled as uncooperative or even behind in some areas because she would refuse to do the work to learn the material. There aren't many teachers willing to break through our child's stubborn/lazy streak to get her to do what she is perfectly capable of. I have even noticed in the community classes and chuch classes she has been in, that she has a knack for manipulating the teacher to make exceptions for her. The more we watched her as we taught her at home, the more we realized that the classroom environment was the biggest issue we had. We also realized that we as her parents could get better results from her than other teachers. I think this was partially because we knew her so well and partially because we have a vested interest in her success.

So, If we didn't put her in public or private school because of the classroom dynamic, that left homeschooling. Homeschooling solved a lot of issues for us. We didn't have to worry about what the other kids were learning and whether our child was on track with that. We just had to teach our child what she was ready for. We didn't have to worry about whether she was emotionally or socially in sync with her peers (she will always be a little out of sync), she would be in an emotionally and socially accepting environment of her family. We had already been teaching her from infancy, and knew that we could. I never had any doubts as to my ability to teach the subjects. My own education was well rounded to the extreme. My college majors were (in chronological order): Physics, History, Library and Information Science, and Bible and Theology. I have taught adults how to do basic research at the college level. I have the ability to teach my own children. The only thing that was still an open question for me was whether I could do it as well as raising my kids (the third child being on the way at the time), taking care of the house, being a wife, all without exhausting myself or destroying our family. I am ambitious, but I do recognize that I have limitations.

What finally helped me realize that I could in fact do homeschooling, was a visit from Tim's uncle and aunt. They homeschool and I was able to watch them in action and pick their brains a bit to understand what homeschooling looks like at the daily level. Like most people with a institutional school background, I was still thinking within the box. If I tried to homeschool before that point, I probably would have exhausted myself by trying to reproduce the school setting at home. After that visit, I had a new vision for what school can be.

Ironically, we have chosen a completely different path than Tim's uncle and aunt. We did our research, figured out what was important to us, and figured out what we thought would work with our child. As a result, we have chosen to follow the classical model of education with plenty of emphasis on history and literature. Up through our daughter's kindergarten year we just worked with reading, writing and arithmetic. This year is her first grade year and we have added spelling, grammar, memorization work, history, science, religion, art and music. So far we have covered 13 weeks of school and seem to be on track with our goals.

During this time I have noticed that my ideas about homeschooling have continued to evolve and develop. We have found homeschooling to be very freeing. We are able to cover the material much faster than is done in the classroom setting. Once she has mastered one lesson we can move on to another or otherwise adjust the schedule as needed. We can take holidays and breaks when we need them rather than at the convenience of the school schedule. If we suddenly need to travel, we can either take a break from school or take it with us. We can work around illness in a more flexible way.

We have also found that we are more in tune with our responsibilities as parents and teachers to give our child an education that is tailored to her abilities. We now see having someone else teaching our child as "outsourcing" the job that is our responsibility. The biblical exhortation for parents to teach their children as they go about their everyday activities resonates with us like it never did before. We always expected to teach our children in that way, but now with homeschooling, we find that the verse mirrors what we do much closer than it would otherwise. We also feel more empowered to be active participants in our child's education. We don't have to find an expert on children's literature to read to our child. We don't have to wait for a specialist to tell us how our child is doing, we can see for ourselves by being there when it happens.

We have found that we are separating the concepts of learning from school insofar as lessons don't have to look like the schooling that we had. Yes, our daughter has plenty of sit down lessons. But, she also likes to play verbal games of word problems at the dinner table (her initiative, not ours). She likes to read to her sister (reading practice or social time? Maybe both). She decided one day, during a lesson on addresses, to write a letter to her aunt and uncle who live across town. So we had a lesson on proper epistolary composition which I've been wanting to do with her, but it was her idea completely.

We have found homeschooling to increase our joy. We get to hear first hand some of the quirky things our daughter comes up with in that brain of hers. We get to see the younger kids wanting to do "school" too. We get to enjoy our kids for who they are as we help them reach toward their potential. Each one of our kids is different. The younger ones might even fit in slightly better in the classroom setting than our first child. But, at this point we can see the benefit of homeschooling so well that it seems silly of us to even consider it. Our second daughter is much more active and loves to act out the stories read to her. She is also more precise in her writing and drawing than her older sister was at this age. Our son is slower to talk, but has managed to learn his phonics sounds before he turns two. He seems to be a self-motivated thinker and problem solver. We are expecting a fourth child in May and are curious to find out what this one will be like.

We do have daily struggles over how much work our daughter puts into her lessons and whether we have made reasonable goals. But, through these struggles we know each other better and find ways to work together to meet our goals. Our daughter is even learning some negotiation skills. It is said that relationships become strong when you struggle and work together. It is our hope that at the end of our homeschooling journey that not only will all of our children have an excellent education, but that the relationships will be strong because of the journey we have followed together. We hope that this homeschool journey will not just prepare our kids for their future lives but will teach them about life itself and how to live it well.

Mommy Fashions

2008-10-13T20:21:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately how silly some of my fashion choices have been lately. To give you some background, please understand that I have never been a fashion maven. But, I do have a conscious fashion identity that I have shaped and molded in various ways since Junior High School. I like certain styles and rejoice when they come back into the latest trends. I hate other styles and think that those clothes should be buried somewhere obscure in the deep of the night. I tend to like classic styles (those styles that last longer and don't really follow the ebb and flow of the current fads). I also like a few fun eccentric things, that most people would probably avoid simply because "everyone isn't doing it." I tend to do my own thing and toyed with going into fashion design in during my High School Years. It is probably good I didn't. I'm too much of an independent thinker. I've never noticed anybody treating me like a trend-setter. In addition, I have a huge practical streak. Practical and Fashion almost never work well in the world of trendy culture. It drives me nuts every time I find something that works for me because it is practical, then within a year I can't find it anywhere because the latest thing pushed it out of the market. But the latest thing is cutesy and very impractical.

So, what kind of fashion choices have I made that amuse me? It is the Mommy Fashion thing. Things that I do simply because I'm a mommy. Things that I probably would never have thought of otherwise. Auntie Jean pointed one out to me about a year ago that I hadn't really noticed, but was kind of funny. No matter what I wore, I would always add a little touch of white, usually tossed over a shoulder like a loose scarf. This bit of white scarf was of course a burp cloth made from a thin cloth diaper. I've done this for most of the first year and a half of each of our kids' lives. To someone who knows me, it's become my normal fashion. To a complete stranger, they probably wonder about my sanity.

Another one I noticed this past summer was a fun little colorful accessory. If you plan ahead, you can even coordinate with your day's outfit (which I never did). This accessory was a pacifier on a strap that was usually clipped to my belt-loop or pocket. This position ensured that the child to whom it belonged would not be dragging it through the dirt. But, for my benefit, it provided a fun little swinging motion every time I walked somewhere.

The latest addition to my wardrobe that amuses me is a pair of shoes. I love shoes. I am one of those people (if I didn't have a practical streak) who would have a pair of shoes to match every color of outfit I own. I have always liked three inch spike heels (which make me 6 feet tall). This is not at all practical with young kids in your life (possible but not practical). I also happen to be rather active. I don't do sports. I don't do a gym. I don't run or bike or swim. I walk. I currently have a daily walk of about 1.2 miles (pushing a double umbrella stroller). I have found that with a combination of young children and the daily walk, I am incredibly hard on shoes. I usually would choose athletic shoes as the most practical choice for my daily footgear. No matter what brand I would choose, It would fall apart quickly and I would be shopping for shoes again. Cheaper brands fell apart faster. But the expensive ones didn't last long enough to justify the expense. My last pair of athletic shoes looked terrible (cracking, tearing, soles pulling away from the shoe) in just one month. What's a mom to do?

Heh, Heh...

Men's workboots. Stanley brand. Steel Toes! (how many times does a mom have her kids step on her toes!) Fashion-wise they resemble black and grey hiking boots. They were $30 at Payless ShoeSource and half price on day I bought them. It took me about a week to break them in. So far they seem to be doing a great job. We'll see how long they last.

So, it makes me wonder what is next? Knee pads? Face mask? Funny hats? Then I started to wonder if other people do strange things like this or is it just me. So if any of you reading this have stories to share, please do. I would love to know that I'm not the only one.

One quarter of the school year is complete!

2008-09-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling rather accomplished at the moment. I've kept up the discipline and made the Pillowfight Fairy do her schoolwork when she would rather be playing. We have now completed nine weeks, which in a 36 week school year equals one fourth. She is learning. She is making progress. For one thing, she is getting more comfortable with writing longer sentences. She is also getting more comfortable about risking misspellings if the word she wants to use is long and/or complicated. I see this as definite progress for a little perfectionist. She has developed the habit of checking the spelling in a book where she knows the word is used, to help her when she is uncertain (that was her own idea).

In literature, we have read many Aesop's Fables, Some Egyptian Myths, a tamed down and shortened version of the Epic of Gilgamesh as well as a pretty good section of the book of Genesis. She has worked through nine lessons of basic spelling words successfully. She has memorized two poems. We have covered the differences in common nouns and proper nouns. I had intended to get her to write letters once a week. But, I have discovered that she has more writing assignments than I had originally realized and so we haven't done that yet.

In math, she has covered the basics of single digit addition and subtraction, measuring, telling time, money and fractions. We are still practicing those. She has just recently started double digit addition (without carrying) and adding a list of three numbers.

In history, we have covered early nomads, Ancient Egypt, Sumer, Akkadia, Babylon, and the Assyrians. My husband reminds me to say that this is not an exhaustive study. We have touched on these areas of history to give her a familiarity with it. First graders do not study history in exhaustive detail. This is an introduction to help her start to put the pieces together for future understanding. In my parents' last visit, my Dad was surprised to hear that we were teaching her history already. I realize that first graders don't usually get a lot of history. Usually it is social studies more along the lines of family relationships, neighborhood "helpers" and major holidays. In the classical method we are using, the framework is history. First graders start to learn about the world from early times to the present. Seeing as she is already getting the other "social studies" in our everyday life, I don't see this as a problem. My hope is that it will help her develop a bigger perspective.

In science, We are still covering the animal kingdom. Twice a week we do reading on a different group of animals. Then she has to tell me something she has learned and write it down.

In the fine arts, she is studying art and piano. Once a week she has a lesson regarding art technique. Once a week she studies an historical piece of art. The rest of the week we have fun art (sometimes connected to a lesson, sometimes not). For piano, her Daddy is giving her lessons from a piano instruction book. She is still in the "I don't want to practice" stage, but she is making progress even so. We'll see how she feels about it as she gets better.

I mentioned her religion instruction in the literature section, since it has mostly been reading through the Bible. I keep the readings very short. We have only skipped a few things that I thought were too complicated to explain to a first grader. We are currently in the story of Joseph. She also gets classes at church on Sunday mornings, and Wednesday nights.

For exercise we walk about 1.2 miles every day.

So, what are my impressions of my first year of full homeschooling so far? Well, it's a lot of work. The lessons are not difficult and she learns very fast so I'm not having to work hard at teaching. The work is actually to keep myself disciplined so that lessons don't slide, to keep her focused when she doesn't want to do her work (which is most of the time), and to keep on top of the paperwork and check her progress (so mistakes get caught and corrected). There is also, filing away the work she has done and preparing for the next day. I find that I have to know what I'm covering for a day's schoolwork the night before, otherwise there are too many distractions to keep it all straight. Despite some of the daily frustrations, I think this is working out.

Another thing that I'm proud of is that I started doing phonics work with the Adrenaline Junkie this past week. Just a few minutes a day is all we do. She is enjoying it and doing well. She is getting better at sounding out words and even wanted to play the sounding out words game this evening before bed.

The Happy Boy is still a little frustrated that Mommy can't always give him attention when he wants it, but I console him with books and puzzles in my available times. He is getting pretty good with his letters and numbers. Now if we could only get him to say more words.

If we stay on schedule, we will finish 36 weeks in late April. I do have more planned for the year, but the rest is more along the lines of filler to keep her in practice and not forgetting what she learned. Of course we haven't been hit with the winter sicknesses. That will throw things off. But, with one quarter done, the rest of the year looks possible. That's a good thing. If you have visited my husband's site recently, you may have seen that baby number four will be coming sometime in May. I hope we can get most if not all of the year's essential work done by then. After all, I'll need some of the time after the baby comes to plan next school year for not just one but two kids.

A Well Deserved Rest

2008-08-19T21:17:00.000-07:00

As of last week we finished our first six weeks of school. We have kept on schedule and didn't have any missed days (excepting the important holiday of Mommy's birthday). The Pillowfight Fairy has been making steady progress, so to celebrate we are taking a vacation week this week.

Her writing is improving. I have determined that she has neater writing on the smaller lined paper (1/2 in size) rather than the big stuff (1 inch?) used for young learners. She has done well enough with the written narration pages that I've upped her from one sentence to two sentences on topic. If she finds the reading interesting, she is usually wanting to compose the sentences herself. If she isn't interrested enough to compose, Mommy comes up with them and she gets dictation practice. She also has shown me that she does better verbal narrations when she has done the actual reading herself instead of listening to me read it. (I understand that some people do better the other way around, go figure.)

She is right on schedule with her math work. Which reminds me that both with her math work and her spelling work, she now has tests. Every ten lessons in math (once every two weeks by our schedule) and twice a week in spelling, she has tests. She is having to learn to follow the instructions exactly without reminders and do her work without Mommy checking it until she is done. That is a bit challenging since she likes to do things her way and prefers immediate feedback, but even so she has done excellent work.

The new subjects this year are History, Science, and Bible. She seems to have mixed feelings about history. She gives the impression that she isn't interested most of the time, but later on she will say or do something that tells me that she did pick up some of it. I keep reminding myself that she is a first grader. The object is to introduce these facts and ideas to her now so that they can be built upon later. I suspect that she actually has very good retention for a not quite six year old.

In science, we have been learning about animals by reading through an animal encyclopedia and any science books I can find from the local library. One book series that her Daddy and I find annoying, but she enjoys immensely is the Magic School Bus. So far we have checked out one that talks about bees and one that talks about Ocean life. She rereads them several times a day when she has them and can tell you all you want to know about bees. The one covering ocean life impressed her more with the plot line of the story than all the animals it talked about, but she can still talk about many of the animals listed. So now every time I go back to the library, I check to see if they have a magic school bus book on a topic we are covering.

In her Bible studies we are reading through the Bible starting at the beginning. I've tried to keep the readings small, so that it would be simpler to do narrations. I haven't left much out. I was concerned about how much to read in some of the stories since the Bible doesn't hold back on some of the nasty stuff people do. Also, as my husband has pointed out in his blog, the version we are using is at a third grade reading level making the text understandable at a third grade reading level. I finally decided to use a simple rule of thumb. If I can't explain something to her with a simple, quick explanation, it is probably better to leave that story (or part of the story) for another reading when she is a little older. As a result, she is reading about all sorts of villainy that is easy to explain. I've only held back on just a few stories because they dealt with more complicated villainy than usual. Still, I've noticed that you can't leave too much out because those stories are referred to later on. The biggest gap so far has been a few paragraphs in the Sodom and Gommorah story and the story of Lot's daughters after they all fled to the hills. It is still an exciting read even so. She liked the story enough to illustrated a picture of it along with her usual narration page.

We do have a pretty full schedule, but she can usual finish most of her work by lunchtime if she stays on focus. My biggest challenge is to juggle keeping The Pillowfight Fairy going with schoolwork (sometimes with me, sometimes on her own) while keeping the Adrenaline Junkie and the Happy Boy going with appropriate activity. Some days that works just fine and some days the house is a disaster area at the end of "school-time." There are usually a few times when I can read to the other two or play with them. They can also play on their own at times. But, I need to find a way to get a consistent time with the Adrenaline Junkie so I can start working on her reading skills. She is right at the prime time for learning to read. She is interested. She knows her letters and the sounds they make. She can even write most of her letters. She has learned how to sound out simple three letter words that don't have anything tricky about them. With practice and a little teaching, she will be well on her way to reading. But I need to find some time every school day to spend time with her doing it.

The Happy Boy is sort of in his own category right now. He wants Mommy's attention. He wants Mommy to read any book he wants repeatedly ad infinitum. If left to himself he would climb into off-limit places and cause havoc. He is also in the midst of teething his last four molars and eats everything. Tim wants to change his pseudonym to the Omnivore. I'm holding off, because I think he'll grow out of it. He is now eighteen months old and seems to be entering the terrible twos a little early (all of ours hit it about this stage). He gives the biggest tantrums of our three kids. I think that part of it is fed by frustration. He hasn't learned to say very much yet. He laughs for "yes" and he shakes his head for "no." He is making sounds like he is attempting to say things and gets close enough for me to recognize it in context. But, no one would call what he says understandable talking. Added to it all, his wishes are getting more complicated than he is able to communicate. This causes frustration and big tantrums. Ironically, he has fallen in love with our videos that teach the Junkie reading skills. He knows his letters and their sounds already. He is acting like he would like to learn to read before he has finished learning to talk. So, I keep trying to encourage him to try to say simple useful words. He's made some progress, but the same sound can mean half a dozen things. Some day I'm sure the switch in his brain will flip and he'll start talking in full sentences. In the meantime it is frustrating for all of us.

After writing that, I realize that I will probably get people saying "don't worry about it, lots of kids don't talk until two or after." Yeah, I know that already. I'm not worried about it. I'm frustrated because he is hard to understand and he's frustrated because Mommy isn't reading his mind. You see, I never had a kid this age and this stage not talking yet. Both of his sisters were earlier talkers than this. The oldest was saying perfectly pronounced words at ten months. The second was starting to say her first words around one year (less understandably). So, this is a new experience for me. It is unusual to me to have an eighteen month old who can't verbally tell me what song he wants or which book he wants or what food he wants, but who has all the same preference levels that his sisters had.

So, this is our vacation week. I've decided on a break roughly every six weeks. That seems long enough to make progress, but not so long that we get burned out. So what do we do for our vacation break. We play more, we read for fun, watch an extra video a day, we play our video games. The Pillowfight Fairy still has piano practice. We still go for our morning walk. But the schedule is just a lot more flexible for doing fun things. When I told the Fairy that we were taking a week off from school work she said "I don't want a vacation!" (this from the child who complained nearly every day that she didn't want school work). So, whether the Fairy wants it or not, Mommy gets the vacation. Would you believe that on the first day of our vacation all three kids were showing signs of a variety of mystery illnesses (one cold, one fever, two with intestinal issues). So much for the vacation. At least the illnesses are currently mild, so we can still have some fun. maybe the worst will be over by next week and we can pick back up with work again.

Thoughts on Teaching the Bible

2008-07-24T21:31:00.000-07:00

After my husband published a post about the dilemma of reading all of the Bible to a five year old during our homeschooling lessons, he received a few comments back that definitely show different people's approaches. I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I definitely have some opinions about teaching the Bible. Before I start spouting off on one or more of my soap box issues, it would probably be good to give a little background. That way you might be able to see a little bit of where I'm coming from.

I have a fairly conservative Christian upbringing. My parents raised me in the Church of Christ. One thing about the Church of Christ that many people (even some who belong to it) sometimes mistakenly overlook is that although many congregations appear to be the same, the reality is that there is no official connection to keep them all in cookie cutter unity. Each congregation is in control of its own affairs and tries to follow the Bible or get off track in its own way. The church I grew up in was a bit of a trend setter (at least during my childhood and high school years) that was usually middle of the road or slightly liberal leaning within "the brotherhood" of Churches of Christ. My parents' faith experiences also colored my religious background. My Dad grew up in the same faith background that I did. However, my Mom grew up going to any church that the most available family member with a car went to that week. She had a big extended family and they went to every church on the map. With that background, she helped bring a little perspective to what I grew up with.

When I say "conservative Christian," I know that many people will want to stop reading right there. And others, who have had bad experiences with my denomination, will want to stereotype me there. To that I can only say, if you wish to remain ignorant of another person's faith journey, so be it. Stereotypes are just that, stereotypes. They can't tell you about a specific individual. I think that it would be accurate to say that although I have encountered closed minds, faulty logic, and hypocrisy among my fellow faith travelers, I have also encountered plenty of open minds, well refined logic, and sincere faith among many of them, too. So, please give us a chance. I was raised to know the Bible. I was raised to follow God and my conscience to the best of my ability. I was encouraged to think critically and be well educated.

As a result of this background, I entered a long college career that took me to four colleges and four majors in completely different subjects. The one that applies to this post is my last one. I was a Bible and Theology major. For a variety of reasons relating to family responsibilities, work responsibilities, social life and such... I didn't finish my degree. I was about five classes away from my 2nd Bachelor's degree in Bible and Theology. I make no claims to be a famous scholar. I never even took Hebrew or Greek. But, I still think that I probably have a better religious education at the college level than your average person off the street. The education I have does impact some of my thoughts on teaching the Bible.

When we started homeschooling our daughter she was preschool. The Bible classes she got at church were fine. Then she was Kindergarten and I tried to supplement her classes by following up on the Memory verse work and asking her questions about her lesson. I could write another post solely on my opinions of church Bible classes. I did quickly determine that my daughter found the memory verse work so easy she was bored with it. And she was more interested in the crafts than the stories (unless they were "icky" stories such as those my husband mentioned in his post). In talking with the people in charge of the curriculum to know what was to come in the grades 1-6, I learned that they didn't start a systematic study through the Bible until second grade.

We didn't start homeschooling for religious reasons, but we are religious. And our faith is important enough to us that I knew that one class a week on Sunday morning was not going to be good enough for us. So I decided to add religious studies to the schedule when I was planning for this year. We are following a historical structure in our studies so, she will learn about world religions as we encounter them in history. In fact, we our learning some of what the Ancient Egyptians believed, in our current studies by reading some our their myths. But, for our own family's faith, we are reading the Bible since that is the core of our religion.

Some people think that collections of Bible stories are most appropriate for young children. I agree up to a point. I've been reading Bible stories to her from numerous books of compilations since she was interested in being read to. She knows all of those stories, but she is lacking in context. And all of those convenient compilations are paraphrases. They are not actual translations of scripture. On the plus side, they eliminate most of the scandalous violence, the breaking of sexual taboos, the grievous misdeeds of the heroes of faith, and the difficult to explain passages about God himself.

I have a strong bias toward reading primary source material. Don't slice and dice my literature, history or even religion please. There is so much to gain by listening to an author as he or she intended to be heard. So, I made the decision that if I am teaching our daughter world history and literature in first grade, then I will be reading her an actual translation of the Bible. This gives her the context for those stories she has learned. She learns the order that things happened. She learns a lot more about how God interacts with people, than the cut and paste version served up in story books.

In addition to this, she learns that there is usually more to the story than she has ever heard before. Some of that story causes me my dilemma of whether to read absolutely everything. I mean... she's only five after all. She doesn't need to hear about everything does she? So, since I make a detailed lesson plan, I started reading through the Bible trying to divide up the readings in appropriately sized chunks.

I was a little nervous about including Noah getting drunk (remembering some of the interpretations of that story that I've heard through the years), but It went OK. It helps that I went out and got a translation that aimed at a third grade reading level. Some of the more difficult phrases to explain become euphemisms. The next problematic story was the story of the visitation of the angels to Sodom and Gommorah. I haven't got to that one yet, so I can't tell you how I'll handle it yet. Either I will edit my reading to give the gist of the story (it is a major story that is revisited many times later and therefore necessary to my eyes), or I will read it straight and deal with any questions from my daughter as they arise.

Of course there are all the long genealogy passages... I'm reading them. Genealogies were important to the people of that time and you can learn the occasional tidbit from them. Then there are the long passages in Exodus where God describes in detail to Moses how to build the Tabernacle, then Moses describes in detail to the people how to build the Tabernacle, then the people build the Tabernacle and it is described in detail. Whether or not that section takes up half of the book of Exodus, it feels like it does. I'm planning on editing that down to give her the highlights and give her an idea of what Israelites were told to do in their religious practices. Then later on there are all of the Levitical laws about how to do the various sacrifices, how to do the various feasts, the day to day legal issues, cleanliness laws, etc. I will try to give her some of it, but not too much. These laws are brought up later. Every time I considered skipping something, I would be reminded how it is brought up later with the assumption that it is no longer new information. Yes, much of it is deadly dull to us. Yes, some of it is downright icky. But, I found that in small chunks, it didn't look so bad and the few sections that I had the most problem with probably should be skipped for attention span reasons. She is only five!

I do not feel guilty leaving out a few things. You see, I'm leaving most of it in. Very few things hit my don't read threshold. And those are mainly because of her age. This will not be the only time we read the Bible. As she gets older, we will read every bit of it. By the time she is in high school I expect reading the whole Bible to be at least an annual activity. We are going slower this time through. I plan to be most of the way through Numbers by the end of the school year.

Another consideration is that we are following an educational approach that encourages exploration of facts and information for the youngest kids. It is not to gain mastery at the beginning. It is to lay foundations for further study. I learned from my Master's program (Library and Information Science), that people learn things better if they have already been exposed to that information. But, the young age level is not necessarily very good at analyzing what they read. It's the older kids that wrestle more with why and wherefore. So I feel comfortable with providing a much bigger slice of the picture than most kids her age get, with the idea that the small bits I've left out, will fit better when she is old enough to handle a little bit more heavy-duty mental wrestling that some of those passages prompt.

One commenter at my husband's blog made the helpful suggestion of starting with the New Testament in our reading. I appreciate the helpfulness, truly, but the suggestion undercuts a basic premise in my teaching of the Bible. That premise is that it is almost impossible to get a full understanding of the New Testament without a firm grounding in the Old Testament. I'm sure that steps on a few toes, because I have known many people who think that the New Testament somehow overshadows the Old to the point of making it obsolescent. In my mind, reading only the New Testament is like reading the end of a story but not the beginning. Have you ever flipped channels on your T.V. and been sucked into a movie only to find out that you watched only the last 15 minutes. Yeah, you saw the climax and the way it ended, but you are completely oblivious to what put the characters in their situation to begin with. You didn't see the character development or the trials and victories that came before. And remember, the people who wrote and read the New Testament when it was new, thought of the Old Testament as their scriptures. The Old Testament was their Bible.

So...I suppose I should report on how it is going. After all, we've been doing Bible readings for the last three weeks. Well, I have found that by Genesis chapter 15, I have not had to edit anything out. My daughter likes some of the readings but not others. I can tell how much she likes it based on how eager she is to come up with a sentence for her narration page and whether she wants to illustrate the passage (this last being completely optional). Some of them are pretty bland, but some are hilarious. For instance, the story of Cain and Abel. She never mentions the fact that Cain killed Abel (the obvious point for most of us). Instead she was impressed that Cain farmed, so she wrote "Who likes crops?" and had a picture of a very happy-looking stick figure of Cain showing off a platter of vegetables. I keep all of her work in a binder to document her progress. But even without that motive, The Pillowfight Fairy's work shows a very amusing view of the Bible.

The First Week of School

2008-07-17T22:10:00.000-07:00

I suppose I should share how our first week of school went. It actually went very well. A while back my husband shared an overview of what we planned for this year and we got a lot of feedback saying that we were taking on too much, our daughter would be at her schoolwork too much of the day and that I would burn out in no time. After just a little over two weeks into it, I think we planned well and that the doomsayers are wrong (so far).

Our daily schedule looks something like this:

7:30 am Get up/breakfast/etc.

8:30-9:00 am Go for daily walk/stroller ride (the earlier we get out the better as the weather is hot right now).
9:30-10:00 am Start schoolwork (Bible reading, narration page, illustration page, math page, read an Aesop's fable, narration page, illustration page, spelling assignment, grammar lesson (3 days a week), Short history or science reading, narration page, illustration page, memory work (maybe once or twice a week), art lesson or free art time.)
11:30-12:00 am School is over.

The list of lessons sound like a lot, but they are really short. The only days we have spent much more time than I like is when I've let my daughter spend as much time as she wants on her illustration pages. These were a feature of her schoolwork that she wanted and asked for. Sometimes a quick drawing is enough, but some days she takes her time to create an intricate masterpiece. We sometimes have to take a break for lunch and continue with whatever remains when the younger kids go down for naps. We have not gone any later than 2:00 pm and that was purely because of the time she decided to put into her artwork.

I have noticed a few things in the past week and a half that will have a bearing on the future:

First, we took a holiday for Mommy's birthday and it threw off the schedule. I noticed that other homeschoolers have mentioned that they plan by week instead of by day. My schedule was by day. The problem with this is that skipping a day in a carefully crafted week's schedule is that you either shift the whole week by one day, wrapping around to the next week, or you shift the work to other days, or you skip those lessons. While some lessons are not urgent in and of themselves, skipping lessons is not my first choice. I first thought that we would just shift the work by a day, but that was grating against my orderly personality. Besides, we have carefully planned library days that have to happen at their scheduled time. So I decided to shift the work of the extra day over the course of three days to catch up. That seems to have worked without putting an undue burden on my daughter. This will be an issue as we proceed since sickness and other needful interruptions will occur. We will just have to play it by ear. I hesitate to make my schedule less detailed, since I find it easier on me to have the preparation work finished to that level. I merely have to look ahead every two weeks to make sure we have the appropriate library books and craft supplies. Then I lay out the next day's work each evening and double check that I understand the teaching that I need to do.

Second, It will take a while for my daughter to get the hang of narration. At this point, I'm asking questions to get her thinking, but if she isn't in the mood to think, we stall pretty fast. I don't want to get in the habit of answering the questions for her. Nor do I want to reread the passages to help her learn what she missed. The point of narration is that she needs to learn to use her memory on one reading. It is a skill that takes some time to learn and she will need that time to learn it. Fortunately, I have experience that tells me that she will get it eventually. When I was a young whippersnapper (High school age or early college age), I annoyed my family by asking them questions about the Sunday morning sermon over Sunday lunch. You see most people forget the sermon almost immediately even if they liked it. At first, my family was simply annoyed that I kept pointing out to them how short their memory was for something they ought to be remembering. But, within a month we were having lively lunch conversations about the morning sermon. I'm looking forward to some lively conversations with my daughter about what she is being taught.

Third, It will be a challenge working more schooling for my younger daughter into the schedule. We have done some, but not to any set schedule. I have also taken time to read to my son. Both of the younger kids get some of Mommy's attention while the oldest is working mostly independently on some of her work (especially art). But, for the most part the younger two play the whole time and the room is a mess at the end of our appointed school time. On the plus side, the younger kids are playing independently or learning to play with each other without a lot of interference from Mommy. It is nice that Mommy does not have to do everything for them all the time. As they get older, I expect it will get a little easier to juggle teaching two kids set lessons.

Forth, I might want to reconsider the time of year that I start school. I've been in the midst of a nectarine harvest that couldn't wait. Traditionally, school started after most of the harvesting was over. A month ago we were drowning in plums. For the last two weeks it has been nectarines. The peaches are showing signs of being ripe any day now and the golden plums will probably be ready sometime soon as well. I've barely been keeping up with daily tasks and staying up late to preserve fruit. I have fruit frozen in the freezer for a more convenient time to make jams and jellies. I've sliced probably 200 nectarines for dehydrating and made fruit leather from nectarines and plums (3 gallon bags of fruit rolls; 3 quart bags of fruit chips). Our fruit loving kids are tired of the fresh plums and nectarines and we were giving the fruit away. Even if I don't plant a vegetable garden next year (although I do plan to), I still will have oodles of fruit from the trees alone.

Fifth, the purpose of all of this is to teach our daughter. Some useful questions may need to be asked. Is she learning anything? I think so, but the learning process is so gradual at times it can be hard to see. Is she enjoying her schooling? Yes, she was eager to get started and even plays school when she isn't actually doing it. Do I see evidence that she is maturing in her abilities? Yes, she is taking more responsibility for doing things herself. She is helping her sister by reading to her and teaching her. She is very proud of the fact that she is a "first-grader" and is thankfully oblivious that her skills are more advanced than her peers in many areas. She has an incredibly intense competitive spirit and would be an annoying braggart if she were aware of the differences. She has a way to go to get her social and emotional levels to match her academic ability, but I have confidence that a homeschooling environment is a more nurturing environment to work through the tough spots there. Having been in a similarly disjointed academic age/emotional age situation myself, but in a public school, I don't want her to have to go through some of the painful stuff that I had to go through. It took me about a decade to work past some the the emotional scars I got in public school (and that was in good schools, with good teachers, and generally good kids). And lest anyone thinks we are not "socializing" her, let me assure you that she is not isolated. She has classroom experience in church with her age peers. She has community involvement through the local parks and rec. programs. She is not shy and will often speak her mind to strangers to my mild embarrassment (as I am very introverted).

My conclusion is that we are not overworking our daughter. She has an appropriate amount of schoolwork. As it gets more challenging, she will probably spend more time on it, but at this point I have no concerns about that. There is room for improvement, but if there weren't our job would be done. It is sometimes hard to juggle it all, but that is because I have chosen to do so many things all at once. I am trying to be realistic and keep perspective on what is most important.

Gardening thoughts

2008-07-05T19:25:00.000-07:00

We have lived in our home almost five years and this was the first year we have put in a garden. We have been adding trees little by little, but this is the first year that I feel like our garden is up and running so to speak. I guess it would be more accurate to say that it is in full production. This is an update on how our garden grows and what thoughts gardening has reminded me of.

We already have a decent fruit orchard: red plums, golden plums, cherries, nectarines, peaches, asian pears, standard pears. We also have a decent section dedicated to berries: blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, and strawberries. This spring, we planted a variety of herbs, salad greens, radishes, cabbages, carrots, onions, and brussel sprouts. Of those only about half germinated. We got a large crop of lettuce (two kinds), radishes, and carrots. We are still waiting on the brussel sprouts. They are currently forming the little edible sprouts, but it is taking a lot longer than we expected. We only got one cabbage, which sprung up where I didn't plant them.

Once we harvested most of these foods, we planted the summer crop: Sunflowers, pole beans, peppers, pumpkins, zucchini, crookneck squash and a cherry tomato plant. We also planted four grapevines which will be a permanent part of the garden. I'm planning on training them into a fountain form instead of the traditional way. About the time we put in the summer plants, we also put in a drip irrigation system. The plants did better at this point.

All of this gardening has prompted a variety of thoughts:

Food grown in your yard tastes better than what you get at the store. The flavors of everything, even the most hum-drum foods, are stronger.
We spend a lot less on produce these days. One of our daughters thinks she can't go a meal without fruit and our son is starting to think the same way. We used to buy a lot of produce, not anymore.
When you decide to plant food crops, and land, water, and sun are sufficiently supplied, God will provide an overabundance. I'm inclined to believe that this is because He is generous. I am also inclined to believe that he expects us to be generous with his bounty. Thus some of the food should be given away. Unless you are selling it for a profit, this is a necessary activity if you don't want perfectly good food to go to waste. I'm pretty good at using and saving, but we can only eat and preserve so much. I've got a quart ziploc in the fridge filled with fresh green beans ready to use or preserve. I've made apricot jam (from a neighbors donation). I've made two blackberry pies. I've made dried plum chips (not exactly prunes). I'm making plum fruit leather (my first try at this as I'm desperate to use a huge supply). I've made plum pie (rather tart, note to self... use more sugar). We're having trouble keeping up with the strawberries despite the children's fondness for them so strawberry jam will be made in the next few days. I'm contemplating drying some of the green beans to use in soups this winter. I am so glad my Mom gave me her dehydrator. Thankfully, the blackberries, cherries and plums are finishing up or done. But the Nectarines are starting to ripen. The tree is full. One branch broke the other day and we lost 50-100 nectarines. That was a small portion of what is still on the tree. We will have to work harder at thinning the fruit earlier in the season.
Gardening helps me refocus on time in a different way than we are accustomed in our culture. You prepare the ground at the right time of year. You plant the seeds when those seeds need to be planted. You water and weed without any sign of growth for weeks. Only then, with patience, do you get the new plants sprouting. You tend and watch them grow. All you can do is water, weed and wait (some people add some fertilizer). You can't make plants grow faster than they do. You can't rush the new fruits or vegetables to form at your convenience. They are ready when they are ready. Once it is time to harvest, you harvest or lose it. Once you harvest, you use it, give it away, or preserve it for later use. If you don't let the garden guide your time-table, you will be doing the needed things at the wrong times and therefore getting a bad result.
Farming is hard work. I already knew this and I'm not considering myself a farmer. Both of my parents grew up on farms and I visited my grandparent's farm on many occasions. I do not have an idealized view of farming. It is hard work. It is hard on the people working in the fields. It is hard on the people processing the food for later use. You have to be the right kind of person to thrive in this setting. My grandpa was one of those people. He loved being a farmer. He loved trying new crops, working with the animals, keeping bees, going fishing in the pond. It was harder on my grandma, but she managed to run the kitchen, raise six kids, and help sell some of the food to the neighbors (she also learned to paint and became a income tax preparer in her later years). Having a big garden like we have, I understand better what my grandparents were doing with their kitchen garden (about the size of our entire backyard). They fed themselves all year with what they grew in that garden. The field crops were for market. Besides the honey, milk, meat and eggs that they got from the animals (of which they kept only a small portion for themselves and sold the rest), the kitchen garden was what they lived on. My Dad remembers that they would supplement with wild berries and a few fruit trees in the summer. I remember my grandparents had a huge pecan tree in their front yard. They would send us a box of pecans at Christmas time which would last us most of the next year in my Mom's baking of desserts. I realize that we could create a similar kitchen garden to help us lower our food purchases. However, such a garden is a full-time job throughout the growing season. As the kids get older, it is more feasible to do this. Right now, it is just an intense hobby.
My kids are learning about plants and where food comes from. A garden is a great way to teach botany. The kids can help plant, water, weed and watch the plants develop. They also get to taste the results of the work. Young kids like ours, don't have a lot of patience for the everyday stuff like watering and weeding. But they are fascinated with planting and harvesting. The Pillowfight fairy loves to help me harvest berries. She has plenty of patience for that since she loves to eat them. I'm glad that I'm passing along some of what I learned when my family had a garden when I was a kid. Maybe, at least some of my kids will show an interest in growing some of their own food as they grow up. I will try not to expect them to love it as much as I do.
Being outside in the garden and just outside in general, is good for us adults. In many ways, our backyard is becoming a little oasis from the cares of the world. That is a very worthwhile thing.

When should the school year start?

2008-06-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

If you didn't have any outside influences making up your mind for you, when would you start the school year? Now we all have some outside influences that help us make this decision, but since we homeschool, we don't necessarily have to follow the public school schedule. For instance, we finished up most of our school-work back in May. Right now we are very casually finishing up a few things that were left undone, but could be considered busy work, since they are not vital to her schooling. So how do we answer this question?

Well, one way to find an answer is to ask if our child is ready to start her new year of school. The answer to that one would be "yes." She has seen the new books. She has seen Mommy making plans and shopping for supplies. Oh yes! she is ready! She has on occasion asked to look at her new text books for the fun of it.

Another way to find an answer is to ask if the teacher (that would be me) is ready to start teaching. The answer to that one is "not yet but soon." I have always loved the start of school, but I also see the need for a little bit of a break before diving in to a new year (especially since we have a lot more planned for this year than last year). I also have to consider how to plan around other summertime activities. Last week was day camp week. This week and next are swim lessons. Both of these things had us completely shift our family schedule to accommodate them. After swim lessons are over, we are free to start a new year whenever we please.

Are there any other influences that might determine when we start? Well, yes. The society around us does influence us some, even though we are relatively out of sync from it. As far as I'm concerned the labels "Kindergarten," "First grade" and so on are artificial constructs and we are teaching our kids where they are. But, our children do interact with other kids (yes, homeschoolers do know other people) who are in public school and to whom such labels matter. Therefore these things matter to our kids. Our oldest has already started telling people that she is a first grader even though we haven't actually started her studies yet. The summer always was an awkward time where you always have to clarify whether you are finishing a grade, in it currently, or about to start it. I generally have liked the idea of year round school, but you still need to have some kind of starting and stopping point to be able to easily talk to others (especially non-homeschoolers). In our life, those other people we spend the most time with are at our church. Our kids are in classes divided by age or grade level as appropriate. This is where they get their "classroom" experience. So when does our church start the new year? July 6th of all things. I think this is actually because it allows the year to be divided up into relatively neat quarters for planning of classes. As a result most of the kids start their new grade long before they start school for fall. So we could start about the same time and be in sync with the church classes or we could do our own thing (whatever that is).

Another consideration is convenience. I had hoped to be pregnant by now so that the early months of pregnancy (when I generally am in a sleep-deprived fog) would be out of the way before starting the school year. Sometimes, that which is convenient doesn't happen and you have to make do with a more inconvenient alternative. Having no idea when said pregnancy might happen, it wouldn't do to delay our kid's education for it.

There is also the fact that this is the first year that we have to satisfy bureaucratic rules. Since we live in California, we will have to file our affidavit as a private school to exempt our daughter from compulsory attendance in public school. But that doesn't need to be done until October. Still, we have to figure out if we are going to join a homeschool support group (probably), decide on legal representation (since you never know), and watch what is going on in the court case that might change everything (probably no news until September).

So, have we come up with an idea of when we will start our new year?

We probably will start in early July. I don't want our break to be too long or our daughter will start forgetting last year's stuff and may decide that she doesn't want to go back to her school work. We will be in sync with her church friends. And we can do all the bureaucratic stuff as needed along the way. Though I may wait until after my birthday. :-)

Teaching to the Test

2008-06-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

You know... one of the things that I like as a homeschooler is the ability to concentrate on comprehension and mastery without having to "teach to the test." There is a freedom in this. There is quite a debate in our society right now about how to teach kids and how important testing is. I tend to be on the side of those who say teaching to the test isn't the right approach.

That is why it is so ironic that I find myself "teaching to the test."

Why would I do this? Because my daughter wants to participate in our Church's "Bible Challenge." It is a Bible knowledge quiz (handled much like a spelling bee) that they have every year at the end of summer. It is open to kids who have finished kindergarten through sixth grade. They divide the kids up into age groups for appropriately challenging questions for that group. For every correct answer they earn a ticket to redeem for prizes. Everyone who completes the challenge without missing an answer gets a trophy. My daughter really, really, really, wants to do this. So we have the list of questions that they handed out in June for the quiz in August. The idea is to encourage Bible knowledge, not to try to trip the kids up with surprise questions.

So, this week I have been teaching to the test. We have been reviewing the questions. I was happy to see that the questions didn't cover anything that she was unfamiliar with (with the possible exception of how many books are in the Bible). She knows all the stories mentioned in the questions, so I'm happy that she knows the context of what the questions are talking about. She also knew most of the answers. However, I have needed to encourage her to stick to the answers they expect the kids to give. Restating an answer in your own words is fine as long as it is accurate and doesn't confuse the issue (she has been fond of riddles lately and has sometimes tried to answer questions with riddles).

Now I have to try to find a way for this review of questions to stay fresh or she will get bored and not put effort into it. It would be heartbreaking for our little perfectionist to miss an answer in this much anticipated contest. (Heartbreaking for her that is, we are OK with it).

Which brings up another question: Are perfectionists that way all their life? Are there any recovering perfectionists out there? I've never seen evidence that this personality trait changes. Not being a perfectionist myself, I've never seen much point to it. My husband is one (that must be where she gets it), but he manages to use it to give himself the drive and endurance to work until he gets right whatever he is working on. That is an adult form of perfectionism. In our five year old, it tends to work more like "If I get something right the first time, I love it and want to do it constantly until I get tired of it. If I get something wrong the first time, I hate it and I will fight every attempt to get me to do it again." Anybody got ideas on how to move this stubborn perfectionist from point A to point B? I've just been making her do things anyway, until she gets it right (then I can't stop her). Nobody said parenting was easy. Parenting and teaching can be twice as hard sometimes.

So anyway, I am teaching to the test this summer as a favor to my daughter. How is that for a twist?

Confirmation that the Happy Boy is acting older

2008-06-06T19:56:00.000-07:00

Over the past few days, I've been retiring old baby toys and generally removing some of the clutter of toys from our living room. As a result of this, I saw little change in my son's activities. So far, so good. I was removing toys that he didn't play with. Today, In the process of helping my girls clean away some unneeded items from their room, I decided to move the playmobile toys to the living room to be shared toys. These are the playmobile toys that are appropriate for 1 1/2 year-olds and up (fewer moving parts). I figured that he has only 2 more months to go to meet the age limit and he already loves to play with them every time he has managed to get in his sisters' room.

The result of this experiment? All of the kids play with the playmobile toys more. However, the Happy Boy is in heaven. He is playing with these toys for an hour or so at a time, with no complaints (except from his sisters if they are playing at the same time, he tends to act like Godzilla). The clutter is back in the living room, but it is a clutter from a different kind of toy. It is also the clutter of a well played with set, rather than the pick-up and drop five seconds later scenario we had before.

So what kind of play is this boy doing? The usual pretend play. He helps the playmobile people go down a slide. He puts them in cars. He puts them in and out of houses. This is pretty standard, I realize. But it shows that he isn't that far off from playing like his sisters do. It gives me hope that in about a year, they might actually be able to play together (all three) at times.

How are the girls handling the changes? Quite well actually. I've moved toys and books around and had them help me select which stuffed animals to keep. They know that many of the toys are going to be given new homes. It doesn't seem to bother them a bit. I'm sure that it will bother them the next time they want a particular toy and we don't have it anymore. But, that too is part of learning about life and the consequences of one's decisions. As for their play habits, I noticed them doing something new the other day. They were playing "Cinderella." They would take turns being Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother (or Fairy Grandmother according to the Adrenaline Junkie). They acted out the key events of the story in a whirlwind short version that took no more than five minutes. I think their Daddy's wish that they get involved in drama will probably come true because every time they finished, they would switch off roles and do it again. They entertained themselves like this for at least an hour straight.

Let me tell you...any time kids these ages can entertain themselves for an hour straight, it is a blessing from God. If I hadn't been suffering from a cold this week, Life would have been perfectly blissful. Well, OK, they did cry and complain and whine a little this week too. But they always do that. I'm trying to count my blessings.